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If Microsoft Made Cars
dan632 Posted: Thu Jul 1 21:04:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!

libra Posted: Thu Jul 1 21:26:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hehehe, I have a Dell...and i can't see myself ever buying a mac, but this is still funny. cause its true.

Mouse Posted: Thu Jul 1 21:44:28 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
Ah macs, couldn't keep my sanity without them.
Ooh, the Toyota hybrid -the Prius- has a start up button like a computer! It's so wierd.

Dancer Posted: Thu Jul 1 22:49:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  wahahhahahahaha good one!

Puck Posted: Sun Jul 4 03:10:37 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  A few years ago, I was sitting in class and a guy turns to me asking for help with the pc he was on. I asked him if he had a computer and he said he did. I paused in thought for a moment and asked if it was a mac and he said it was. Another guy and I couldn't keep from laughing at him because of it. No offense to mac users, of course.

dan632 Posted: Sun Jul 4 06:51:46 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mac Killed My Inner Child

Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 4 16:58:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dan632 said:
>Mac Killed My Inner Child

How on earth did it do that?

Puck, I've had similar experences with pc users when they need to use my mac, they have no idea how to do anything on it. I end up piloting them through every little thing.
It only takes me a second to adjust when I have to use Sailovzi's computer.


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