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Being kicked to the curb
Cherry_Moon Posted: Tue May 10 19:46:07 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  okay gters i'm 17 i don't have my license (as of yet) i don't have a job or an apartment and the folks are pissed off and are getting ready to kick me to the curb. like. tomorrow. literally. mouses' folks have offered room and board. but i'm terrified out of my mind. i don't know what to do. i've looked for a job all day today with mouse but i really don't know the outcome. i'm too busy periodically crying and pacing to pull myself into apartment or shelter searching. i think i'm going to have to live at a homeless shelter. literally and no self pity. i'm too poor. as far as car goes i can't afford the insurance or the cost of gas or the hunk of moving scrap metal. i'm terribly tired.

CorDrine Posted: Tue May 10 20:34:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Get a job first. Money can solve most problems in life. I wouldn't worry about a car at this point in time yet. Getting a place to stay and keeping your stomach full would be quite a handful for now. But look at it this way, its a great time to learn how to be independant! Most people from the country I live in now never learn that, not even after they get married!

ifihadahif Posted: Tue May 10 21:07:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Take the offer from Mouse and keep job hunting.
You will probably find something within a week. Take it.
If it's a good job, work hard at it.
If it sucks, take it, and keep looking for something better.
Just keep busy. You will meet new people and make some good friends.
Your life will change pretty fast and you will probably like the changes as you become more independent.
Besides, I've seen your pic, you're cute and you will be fine, because you're not stupid.

Ed Posted: Tue May 10 21:28:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wait a minute! Is it even legal to do that? I thought that parents couldn't kick their kids out until they were 18. Or is that just out of politeness?

Mesh Posted: Tue May 10 21:53:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  As often happens, hif has replied before me and given much the same advice I would give. Definately take the offer from mouses parents, take any job you can get, work hard etc etc.

Thats a terrible and scary situation your in, and I'm sorry to hear about it. I wish you the best of luck.

Mesh Posted: Tue May 10 22:00:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  If worse comes to worse and youre without a place to stay, you could look into youth hostels. I'm not sure of the youth hostel situation in North Carolina, or if there are any. But when I first left home I stayed in various youth hostels while I worked and saved up money.

They can be pretty ugly places with some shady people, but its a roof over your head and cheap.

addi Posted: Tue May 10 22:04:25 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>Thats a terrible and scary situation your in, and I'm sorry to hear about it. I wish you the best of luck.

I second that, Cherry.

Zacq Posted: Tue May 10 22:20:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think you should try and talk to your parents, and if you can convince them that you'll be searching for a job and a place to live they might let you stay a little longer. I don't think it could hurt at this point.

libra Posted: Tue May 10 22:33:56 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aren't you going to school? Why would they kick you out if you're going to school?

I'm with zacq, talk to them. No parent should be kicking out their 17 year old.

breeze Posted: Wed May 11 00:34:44 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'll join Libra and Zacq. They are your parents after all and i'm sure they love you in their own way. Folks get mad, it always happens. They threaten to kick us out, not give any money etc. But deep inside they usually care for us a lot and they wouldn't want anything bad happen.

Talk to them, most conflicts can be resolved this way. If it doesn't work out, take Mouse's offer or maybe you should check with the rest of the family (grandparents, cousins, etc.) that maybe you have close relationships with. My cousin would always go to live in our grandma's place, everytime he got kicked out of the house. They usually love having grandchildren visiting, plus they take care of you like cooking for you and all.. but maybe it differs from family to family.

if none of that works out, i'll join Hif's advice. Look for a job. good luck..

FN Posted: Wed May 11 05:41:54 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't know the laws there, but I'd be surprised if they'd be much different than the ones we have here.

They can't kick you out unless you're 18+, and even then, they can't deny your right to have an education and have to somehow support you so you're able to get one (up to the age of 25 at the most I think, unless you just sit at home all day, not going to school and not looking for a job).

choke Posted: Wed May 11 15:53:03 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>They can't kick you out unless you're 18+,

Goddamn. In NZ you can get kicked out at 16, and you can leave school at 15

choke Posted: Wed May 11 16:11:49 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  To the origional matter..

I've been kicked out of home before (I know, it's a big surprise :P) Seriously, leave town for a couple weeks, catch a bus somewhere and just be a bum for awhile.. Then come back and say you're sorry and you'd like to be a part of their family etc etc.. It's mainly about overcoming your own stubbornness. Most parents don't really mean it when they tell you to get out and abit of meaningful sweet talk usually gets you a roof over your head for another week.

Ahriman Posted: Wed May 11 18:55:48 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Fortunately I am the only one here who can stack 75lb bags of dog/cat food for two hours, then stack wood for three more hours, and take care of the 80+ animals so I...guess...I am lucky.

kurohyou Posted: Wed May 11 19:28:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It would seem that there are some parts of this I'm have been left out, undoubtedly for their sensitive personal nature. Details aside I would say that the advise of hif and co is a good start.

I would say that the more important issue it that of the reslationship between your parents and you. Whatever has taken place to make them resort to this idicates to me a need for some commuication and some resolve between you guys.

Interim fixes like living with Mouse and taking the first job you can get are just that, interim. The major concern would be with the relationship between your parents and yourself. But that's just me.

I've been through a fair share of vicitous family fights, the most recent lead me to get a restraining order against my uncle. There are very few things which are worth breaking up a family over.

Move in with mouse, find a job, and once things have cooled down, try to discuss whatever has lead you to this point with your parents.

Again, this is sketch advise given on incomplete information, so please take it with a grain of salt. You and you alone know the details of your situation and the best manner to handle it in.

I'm sure its frightening, but everything will be okay. one way or another.

Stay safe whatever route you take.

For what it's worth...

kurohyou Posted: Wed May 11 19:29:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:
>It would seem that there are some parts of this I'm have been left out, undoubtedly for their sensitive personal nature. Details aside I would say that the advise of hif and co is a good start.

I don't know why there's and "I'm" in the middle of that sentence, just ignore it.

innocenceNonus Posted: Wed May 11 22:17:07 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  If you live in the states, I believe the laws are this:

[btw, this is definitely true in GA but I'm pretty sure they're the same for everywhere else too]

Your parents cannot legally kick you out until 18. THEY CANNOT. IT'S ILLEGAL.

You can runaway and emancipate yourself at 17.

At 18 you're a legal adult and can do anything you wish, parent consent or no. Well... except for drinking. But that's about it. Oh, and anything you need a license for you can't do. At 18 is also when you can be kicked outta the house.

andariel Posted: Thu May 12 13:48:25 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  They can not kick you out. Study up before you freak out too much.

Get out for a little (be careful they CAN report you as a run away and Mouse and her fam could get in deep for helping you if they do that) but get out and find a job.

when things are cooling off talk to them, try to make it work. you've got less then a year that you HAVE to be with them try to make the best of it.

Then go to college and live in the dorms. That way you're out of the house and still have a year to work and save before you have to find your own place.

SAVE EVERY PENNY YOU GET FROM WORKING. a prof told me 10% of every pay check no matter how big or small should go into savings, I say while you live with your 'rents or in the dorms, 10% is what you give your self for fun. Take out a little more for food, and the 80% left goes into savings for a car or for a place to live. You'll thank yourself.

I left home and moved to Germany (I've got family there) when I was 15 or there abouts. I didn't come back until I was about 17. I left home for good 5 days before my 18th birthday. Trust me on the saving money thing.

Cherry_Moon Posted: Fri May 13 10:31:49 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  umm i save 90% of my check at the moment because i don't really have to worry about food at the moment. I'm not kicked out yet and i did go and search for a job but i've not had any call backs. i did the whole dress up nice, bring resumes/refrence letter, and smile when they reject you skit. My parents know of my plans to go live with mouse and they are frustrated (i think) and disapproving. I don't think if i leave they'd care to want me back at all sweet talk will not work with them. ever. my mom got irratated with me yesterday when i left a dish in the sink. (my dad said i wasn't to do the dishes anymore or any chore.) i told my mom this and she fired back "do your dishes. i don't even want to realize you are here or live here." so i'm pretty sure i'm past tghe "let's talk about this and figure it out" phase. but regardless. i do still have my part time job working at a yoga retreat center. i do alot of tasks there. i'm a grounds (and until very recently) and housekeeper, food prep (they have groups there), as well as doing some paperwork. so i did everything last decemember when my boss' husband got a back injury. i was there alot and i even did their laundry. i was being paid $5.50 per hour then. now i'm being paid $6.50 and i'm still doing multi-purpose work. So i need to be paid what i actually deserve $10 per hour. alright i'm done ranting.


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