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A Religion we can all get behind
DanSRose Posted: Tue Aug 16 01:05:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply
Have you been touched by His Noodly Appendage?
And the FSM can solve world hunger.

DaveHill Posted: Tue Aug 16 03:18:26 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That's weird. Kinda cool, but weird.

addi Posted: Tue Aug 16 07:02:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I just found my new faith....and I have a newfound sense of inner peace. Thank you, Dan! I'll never take spagetti for granted again in my life.
I think I'm going to cover myself with red sause (basil and garlic), duct tape two spicy meatballs to my head and move to Topeka, Kansas.

*BTW I hope people understand this was all a creative ruse to poke fun at the Kansas School Board nimrods.

She blinded me with science

Ahriman Posted: Tue Aug 16 07:30:06 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That was amazing. Definitely bathroom wall material. Does that make Italy the land of the holy people?

Zacq Posted: Tue Aug 16 11:16:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The people who vouch for intelligent design have no credibility simply because so few think of the human body and call its design intelligent.

Christian Posted: Tue Aug 16 11:22:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hmmm.... I dunno.... really it's ALL still theory, isn't it? :-)

DanSRose Posted: Tue Aug 16 11:24:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think I _need_ the Global warming v. Pirates graph as a coffee mug.

I think it's great that some dude and the internet is actively insulting the Intelligent Design "It's not religion; it's different!" people.

May His Noodle continue to touch you.

Christian Posted: Tue Aug 16 11:31:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  interestingly many evolutionists also poke fun at quantum mechanics, (i.e. string theory and entanglement) as well as multiverse concepts...all equally measurable determinations/considerations, on par with evolution theory....

"hmmmm," again lol

Zacq Posted: Tue Aug 16 14:35:54 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  In my school, this was the extent of our discussion of evolution.

When we were going over DNA and Punnett Squares and whatnot, we were told about natural selection, AKA, survival of the fittest. In other words, faster gazelles are more likely to live, therefore more likely to reproduce, therefore more likely to have fast baby gazelles. This part of evolution is not a theory, it's probability. The only other part of evolution we discussed was change by mutation, and only in order to talk about how bacteria can be altered to produce certain chemicals for our use and etcetera. I imagine that a large portion of schools, like mine, don't teach evolution in any way that denies religion.

Ahriman Posted: Tue Aug 16 14:55:57 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My public school biology teacher went out of his way to tell us how stupid evolution is. I don't like him very much. I also argued with him a lot because of those two factors.

DanSRose Posted: Tue Aug 16 16:28:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Religion should be taught in school. The Big 5 (Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), as well as Confucianism, Taosim, various Native American faiths, animism. and other faiths, both dead and alive. Religion is highly important in understanding the movement of the human condition.
It is so important it should have a whole class for it.

However, it is not science. Religion, in its various names and forms, cannot be held to the rigor of the Scientific Method, which allows observable facts and discoveries to change its very nature. You can test a science by creating an idea that best fits reality, then you test the theory to see how it fits. The relationship is allowed to change, and is encouraged to become nuanced and detailed. And if the theory is flawed or wrong, it can and will be fixed, but through investagation, testing, and retesting.

With the exception of His Noodliness, which is the only deity who can instill awe, wonder, and the intense need for garlic bread.

Zacq Posted: Wed Aug 17 09:49:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

from The Onion

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

Mesh Posted: Mon Aug 22 07:58:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  No thanks. I have a religion already.


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