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Things you think about....
Mesh Posted: Fri Apr 7 02:43:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't know, just ever think or wonder about things? Ever feel like sharing?

Something I was just thinking about, is smokers, and why they do it. More specifically, why they start. Of course after you've had enough of them, your body becomes addicted to the nicotine. And after a while, it becomes just a habit, even if you don't really "need" the nicotine fix. Like you'll just feel weird not lighting one up in certain situations, for instance while your in the car driving or at a party or just sitting outside talking. But I was just thinking, how do you get to that point, really? I mean, I still remember when I first started. 1. They smelled horrible to me. 2. They tasted like complete shit. 3. They made me feel sick to my stomach, gave me a slight headache, made my lips tingle a bit. None of which were pleasurable. So what the hell was going through my mind those first couple of weeks before I was able to really become addicted? And do other people who smoke, did they have a similar experience those first couple of weeks? So why did they keep on doing it, if they did?

It's just weird I guess. I don't know what was going through my tender young mind. Of course, once you've been at it for a while all those blah side effects stop and the ciggies actually make you feel a bit relaxed and pleased, and of course you grow to love the taste and the smell.

Does any of that make sense?

Anyways feel free to just think out loud so to speak.

Mesh Posted: Fri Apr 7 02:47:19 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh, PS I'm still cigarette free. I don't know how long it's been. I didn't care to keep track of how long it's been. I think when you're trying to quit something, constantly thinking "ok it's been one day...two days....two and one quarter days....two and one half days.....shit it's only been two and three quarter days?" kind of makes it harder. For me it does anyways.

Posted: Fri Apr 7 02:54:32 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  

Well, I smoked from 18-20, at about 4-5 packs a week. Nothing too drastic.

I started because I felt really stressed out at the time (passing away of a grandmother, parents divorcing, exams, etc - common themes, I suppose I'm just no good at coping or something), and I lost a bunch of my hair for awhile. I picked up the habit because it made me feel stress free in short bursts.

When I eventually quit, I kept an elastic band around my wrist at all times, and whenever I felt like a smoke, I'd just snap it really, really hard.

Pretty weird, but it worked.

choke Posted: Fri Apr 7 14:38:04 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I remember always feeling most comfortable around smokers. The smell of smoke just comforts me. It may be a childhood thing, I'm not sure. But I smell my clothes after I've been to a concert and wish I didn't have to wash them... I think because the smell of smoke is most commonly associated to such pleasant memories for me.

As for things I think about... I think a lot about disease and lately a lot about evolution. Sometimes I think about myself, a lot more of the time I think about what other people may think about myself. Which kindof cancels it out, because if I am thinking about what other people are thinking about me, and other people are thinking about what other people think about them, then no one is really thinking about each other, are they? What a waste of thought.

Mesh Posted: Fri Apr 7 16:49:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm thinking about Wiley Wiggins and why he touches his nose all the time. If I ever see him again, I'll fix that problem. Can't touch your nose if it's no longer there.

Kira Posted: Fri Apr 7 23:47:40 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  A thought I come back to from time to time, while considering human realtionships, is that only a small percentage of communication between human beings is actually spoken. Most of it is reading and responding to body language and a lot of other inarticulate signals. A good thing for us, because language is surprisingly ineffecient, especially when it really counts. This very night I found myself thinking the earth would split in two before I could ever open my mouth, and I just sat there waiting for the other person to read my mind, knowing that any minute the link might break and we would wind up in seperate rooms again and seperate states of mind. How much is left to chance, to intuition, and how strong is that relationship where neither person understands their understanding, and cannot put into words what it is they've accepted. And if neither person can put it into words, how do they know that they feel the same way? Unspoken or unspeakable feelings can both mask weak relationships and make powerful ones sadly understated. How do we live with these mysteries, and how do we prepare ourselves for when the words suddenly do come?

Beep Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:05:43 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  therefore i am.

but i'm not convinced i'm really here to be honest. i'm here as much as a rock is here. it exists, but it might as well not. i don't think anything is really here. and i think communication is amazing. noises and actions. if another person has understood something different they've just mistranslated, but they might be closer to the point than the person who was communicating.
meh, my thoughts are rambly.

Mesh Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:11:56 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've been thinking about block-time. And entities which may perceive four dimensions, with time being the fourth. Something perhaps like the Trafalmadorians of Slaughterhouse-Five. And then I think how past, present, and future don't really exist.

And then it just gets weird.

Mesh Posted: Fri Apr 14 17:52:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think about, why is it spelled solder, but pronounced sauder? This makes no sense. Shall we start spelling Saudi Arabia "Soldee Arabia"?

This is bugging me.

Kira Posted: Sat Apr 15 00:20:26 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Did you ever thought you saw someone crying? You just don't know what to do at the time.

Is it ever a mistake to ask after the emotional state of a stranger?

That kind of thing stays with you your whole life, I'm certain. Not to say it will be much of a regret, a small moment like that, with so little information.

But after the moment's gone all you can do for them is remember them.

Mesh Posted: Sat Jul 22 15:46:20 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm thinking about how their is a sea animal that does not die except from external forces. Basically, if nothing harmed them, they'd be immortal. And I'm thinking about how their is something written in almost all species DNA that is basically a death gene. And I'm thinking, what the hell was the name of this sea creature? Because I saw it on the discovery channel a long time ago, but I can't remember. I just remember it put me into about five hours of reflection on death, and why almost every organism will age and die. When it doesn't have to be so. It got really deep and I started dissociating, and I had to stop myself before I went crazy.

Mesh Posted: Sat Jul 22 15:46:43 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Or rather, before I went more crazy. Crazier.

Mesh Posted: Sat Jul 22 16:32:19 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Is this forum even real? I'm not convinced it really exists. I may have been imagining this place for three years.


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