| All In the Family | ||
| Wisenheimer | Posted: Tue Apr 18 01:01:01 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Archie Bunker: Well, I'll tell you one thing about President Nixon. He keeps Pat home. Which was where Roosevelt should have kept Eleanor. Instead he let her run around loose until one day she discovered the colored. We never knew they were there. She told them they were gettin' the short end of the stick and we been having trouble ever since.
Mike Stivic: Hey it just occurred to me, Mickey Mouse is black. Archie Bunker: Mickey Mouse ain't got no race. He represents all men. Mike Stivic: Oh, I guess that's why Walt made him a mouse. Mike Stivic: Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Archie Bunker: Cut that out. GOD DAMMIT. Edith Bunker: You shouldn't swear like that. Ever since this Watergate thing it's been GD this and GD that. Archie Bunker: I didn't swear. GD. The first word is God. How can that be a swear word? It's the most popular word in the bible. The second word, damn, that's a perfectly good word, you hear it all the time, like they dam the river to keep it from flooding it. And you read in the Bible that some guy was damned for cheating or stealing or having sex in the family. And who damned him? Who else? God. God damned him. Edith, beautiful words right out of the Bible. Archie Bunker: George Jefferson is the only black guy I know that calls Abe Lincoln a honky. Mike Stivic: You know, you are totally incomprehensible. Archie Bunker: Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense. Paul: Every person knows that Homo Sapiens is a killer. Edith Bunker: Homo Sapiens. Is he an Arab? Archie Bunker: No, Edith. Homo Sapiens. That's a killer fag. Archie Bunker: Now wait a minute, Meathead, I never said your black beauties was lazy. You don't believe me, look it up. Gloria Stivic: He's prejudice, there's no hope for him at all. Archie Bunker: I ain't prejudice, any man deserves my respect and he's gonna get it regardless of his color. Mike Stivic: Then why are you calling them black beauties? Archie Bunker: Now that's where I got you, wise guy, there's a black guy who works down at the building with me, he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says 'Black is Beautiful' so what's the matter with black beauties? Edith Bunker: It's nicer than when he called them coons... Mike Stivic: Why couldn't they say "Buddha, bless you" in Chinese? Archie Bunker: Because they don't say that, that's why. If they say... Well, if they say anything at all, it's "Sayonara". Mike Stivic: That's Japanese. Archie Bunker: Same thing. Mike Stivic: It's not the same thing! Archie Bunker: What are you talking about? You put a Jap and a Chink together, you gonna tell me which is which? Mike Stivic: That's right, because I find out about them. I talk to them as individuals. Archie Bunker: Sure you talk to them. You say, "Which one of you guys is the Chink?" Mike Stivic: [yells] I don't believe this. He's making me crazy! Archie Bunker: Well if all blood's the same, let me ask you this: how come they ain't got no Swedes in the mafia? Mike Stivic: What does that got to do with anything? Archie Bunker: Because your Italians got a lock on it. That's why. It's in their blood. Same way it's in your blacks' blood to do the 'scooby-dooby-doo'. Archie Bunker: This country was ruined by Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Maude: You're fat. Paul: You see Robin and I took our vows too. Archie Bunker: Tell him if they didn't take them in church, then God didn't hear them. He ain't married in the eyes of God. Paul: But wouldn't Mr. Bunker agree that God is everywhere? Archie Bunker: Tell him He certainly is. Paul: Then He was was there when we took our sacred vows. Archie Bunker: BUT HE WASN'T LISTENING NOT WITHOUT THE LICENSE Mike Stivic: Why is Jefferson number 2? Archie Bunker: Because, Meathead, there can only be one number 1 and one number 2 and life made Jefferson number 2 long before I come along. Gloria Stivic: So then Puerto Ricans are number 3 then, huh Daddy? Archie Bunker: Well not necissarily there, Little Girl, your Puerto Ricans can be 4. Your Japs and your Chinks can be 3 - 3A, 3B. Archie Bunker: I know all about your woman's troubles there, Edith, but when I had the hernia that time, I didn't make you wear the truss. If you're gonna have the change of life, you gotta do it right now. I'm gonna give you just 30 seconds. Now c'mon and change. Edith Bunker: Can I finish my soup first? Archie Bunker: Go ahead, ask your mother, *she* believes in capital punishment. Gloria Stivic: Do you Ma? Edith Bunker: Well, sure. Gloria Stivic: MA? Edith Bunker: Well, as long as it ain't too severe. Archie: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Pollack. Archie: What kind of fathead would send us something like this? Edith: It's from your mother. Mike Stivic: You think that just because a guy wears glasses, he's a queer. Archie Bunker: No, a guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes. A guy who's a fag is a queer. Archie: Oh, a scarf. It's got that beautiful beege color. Edith: Beige. Archie: Some of that too. Archie: [about Beverly LaSalle] I wish I could've told her what a nice fellow she was. rchie: Hey Sydney, you're a real chimp off the old block. Archie Bunker: You're colored. Chester Byrd: Yes I am. Archie Bunker: You didn't sound colored on the phone. Chester Byrd: That's 'cause I used the white telephone. Archie Bunker: [Lionel has brought over some food] Let me guess: pork chops? Lionel Jefferson: Uh yeah, we was gonna bring some watermelon too, but they's out of season. Archie: Good going there, Pedro. Carlos Mendoza: My name is Carlos. Archie: Carlos it is, Pedro. Mike Stivic: Ma, can you remember the name of the insurance guy? Edith Bunker: Um... It's a German name... Hinklemeyer. That's it. Archie Bunker: Hinklemeyer, okay. [exits] Gloria Stivic: Ma, are you sure that's the name? Edith Bunker: Yeah. Hinklemeyer, that's it. [takes sip of wine] Edith Bunker: Or Swanson. Archie: I'm gonna go into town and get me a good Jew lawyer. Mike Stivic: Do you always have to label people? Why can't you just get a lawyer. Why does it have to be a Jewish lawyer? Archie: Because if I'm going to sue an "A-rab," I want a guy that's full o' hate! Floyd: Gee Arch, I hate to ask for help. Archie: Good, 'cause I hate to give it. Especially if it's money. Floyd: Oh no, this ain't about money. Archie: Then you got a chance. Floyd: I need you to watch Stephanie for a few weeks. Archie: You had a better chance at money. Gloria Stivic: Daddy, what I don't understand is how can the Duke be alive if he threw himself on a grenade? Archie Bunker: 'Cause it was an Italian grenade. It was a dud like everything else them Pasta-Fazoos made. LOL good show. More to come. |
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| addi | Posted: Tue Apr 18 07:22:48 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Ahhh....those were the days.
Reading over those lines from the show brought me back. So progressive for it's day. It raised a lot of eyebrows. I remember in one of my college courses we had to watch videos of certain contraversial episodes and then discuss the issues it dealt with. |
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| mat_j | Posted: Tue Apr 18 08:03:36 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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In Britain it was called 'till death us do part, starring prominent Jewish Actor Warren Mitchell. |
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| Wisenheimer | Posted: Tue Apr 18 12:43:33 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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addi said:
>Ahhh....those were the days. >Reading over those lines from the show brought me back. So progressive for it's day. It raised a lot of eyebrows. I remember in one of my college courses we had to watch videos of certain contraversial episodes and then discuss the issues it dealt with. I was thinking, and even though the show is meant to show that most of what Archie says is ridiculous and ignorant, I can't imagine a show like this being made in this day and age. Where they openly say things like fag, coon, fairy, hebe, yidd, etc etc. I don't know, maybe they would. I just have a hard time imagining it going very far. |
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| ifihadahif | Posted: Tue Apr 18 12:56:54 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Mr. Misses said:
>addi said: >>Ahhh....those were the days. >>Reading over those lines from the show brought me back. So progressive for it's day. It raised a lot of eyebrows. I remember in one of my college courses we had to watch videos of certain contraversial episodes and then discuss the issues it dealt with. > > >I was thinking, and even though the show is meant to show that most of what Archie says is ridiculous and ignorant, I can't imagine a show like this being made in this day and age. Where they openly say things like fag, coon, fairy, hebe, yidd, etc etc. I don't know, maybe they would. I just have a hard time imagining it going very far. > I'm pretty sure they couldn't make that show today. Too many people would claim to be offended and demand the show be cancelled, because as we all know, we have the right not to be offended. |
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| Wisenheimer | Posted: Thu Apr 20 15:59:20 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Archie Bunker: It says so right there in the Bible, Meathead. "In pain shall youse give birth."
Mike Stivic : God said youse? |
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