| Some movie quotes youse guys like | ||
| Wisenheimer | Posted: Fri Apr 21 02:26:57 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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"Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never."
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| addi | Posted: Fri Apr 21 07:51:23 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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from "Office Space"
It's not that I'm lazy; it's that I just don't care. Drew: I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Logistics. If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh. Oh Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... Samir: [trying to decide if he should go along with the virus plot] I have a question. Peter Gibbons: Yes? Samir: In... in these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? Peter Gibbons: Yep, you sure can. Samir: OK, I'll do it Peter Gibbons: Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements I love that movie |
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| Christophe | Posted: Fri Apr 21 09:43:40 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Paul Bäumer: And our bodies are earth. And our thoughts are clay. And we sleep and eat with death.
All Quiet On The Western Front Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast. Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well? Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked! American Beauty Cameron: Hey watch it Derek, this isn't some fuckin' country club where you can walk in and outta here... Derek Vinyard: Shut up! Shut Up! Shut the fuck up, I came here for one reason, to tell you that I'm out, and Danny's out too and if you come near him again, I'll fuckin' kill you. Doris Vinyard: You think you're the only one doin' time, Derek? You think you're here all alone? You think I'm not in here with you? Derek Vinyard: We're so hung up on this notion that we have some obligation to help the struggling black man, you know. Cut him some slack until he can overcome these historical injustices. It's crap. I mean, Christ, Lincoln freed the slaves, like, what? 130 years ago. How long does it take to get your act together? Derek Vinyard: Every night, thousands of these parasites stream across the border like some fuckin' pinata exploded. [the skinheads laugh] Derek Vinyard: Don't laugh! There's nothin' funny goin' on here! [the skinheads immediately quiet down] Derek Vinyard: Does he have a fucking gun Danny? Danny Vinyard: Man I don't fuckin' know. [Derek pulls out a gun from his dresser drawer] Stacey: Oh, my God Derek what are you doing? Derek Vinyard: Not right now honey. Derek Vinyard: Nigger, you just fucked with the wrong bull. You should've learned your lesson on the fuckin' basketball court. But you fuckin' monkey's never get the message. My father gave me that truck motherfucker! You ever shoot at fireman? You come here and shoot at my family? I'm gonna teach you a real lesson now motherfucker. Put your fuckin' mouth on the curb. Lawrence: Come on man. Derek Vinyard: I said: Put your mouth on the curb! [lawrence bites onto the curb] Danny Vinyard: Derek, no! Derek Vinyard: Thats it! Now say good night. [Derek stomps Lawrence's head into the curb] American History X Dr. Evil: Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself. Austin Powers: Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father! Austin Powers: That ain't no woman! It's a man, man! Dr. Evil: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to my underground Lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins, and yet, each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset people DIE! Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat! Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell? Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat. Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism. [guard starts dipping mechanism] Dr. Evil: Close the tank! Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away! Dr. Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What? Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out! Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't. [filling out a form] Austin Powers: Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please! Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce...myself! [Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated] Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head. Vanessa Kensington: No. Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life. Vanessa Kensington: No. Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong. Vanessa Kensington: Hmm. Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation. Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do. Austin Powers: Okay. Vanessa Kensington: That's you in a nutshell. Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?" Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? Number Two: Sea Bass. Dr. Evil: [pause] Right. Number Two: They're mutated sea bass. Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered? Number Two: Absolutely. Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start. Austin Powers: Au contraire baby, you can't resist me. Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over! Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh? Basil Exposition: Austin... we won. Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism! Austin Powers: I won't bite... hard. Austin Powers: No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her! Vanessa Kensington: What? Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah! Austin Powers: Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding. Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me Austin Powers: I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something? Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay? Austin: Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. Dr. Evil: Well it's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough. Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume. Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation. Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation. Austin: Oh, be-have. Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it. The President: C'mon, let me nuke that bastard. Commander Gilmour: Are you suggesting that we blow up the moon? The President: Would you miss it? [looks around the table] The President: Would you miss it? Dr. Evil: Mini-me, you complete me. Dr. Evil: [about his new "laser"] You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star". [Scott snickers] Dr. Evil: What? Scott: Oh, nothing, Darth. Dr. Evil: What did you call me? Scott: Nothing. Scott: [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff. Dr. Evil: Bless you. Dr. Evil: Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore. The President: What hand? Talk to your hand? Dr. Evil: You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips. The President: What are you talking about? Dr. Evil: Don't go there, girlfriend. [snaps fingers] Dr. Evil: Mmhmm. The President: Whose girlfriend? Dr. Evil: Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown. No? I've heard that somewhere. Dr. Evil: Mini Me, stop humping the laser. Maybe you and the laser should go get a freakin room. Fat Bastard: [to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly. Fat Bastard: First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER? I've got a turtle-head poking out. Dr. Evil: Charming Fat Bastard: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it's SQUIDGY. Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know? Fat Bastard: [about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap. Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex? Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked. [Dr. Evil's rotating chair is out of control] Dr. Evil: The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! Austin Powers: Oops. I did it again, baby. Mini-Me: [writes] Are you a clone of an angel? Foxxy Cleopatra: Ohhh how sweet. No, my mini-man, I'm not. Mini-Me: [writes] Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you? Foxxy Cleopatra: Yes I'm sure. Mini-Me: [writes] Would you like to? Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seaman! [Laughs, then notices he isn't getting any laughs from his submarine crew] Dr. Evil: No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub... [after being struck in the groin by a meteor prop] Dr. Evil: All right, let me find my balls for God's sakes. 1, 2... and 3, okay; I'm ok. Austin Powers: [to Foxy Cleopatra] You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. Japanese Man 1: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA! Japanese Man 2: It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not. Japanese Man 1: STILL! WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA! Japanese Man 2: Though it isn't. Austin Powers: I am a sexy beast. Goldmember: Dr. Evil, You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. Yesh Yesh Yesh. Dr. Evil: You know, Goldmember? I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude. Yeah. A little creepy. Mmhmm Austin Powers: You're insane, Goldmember. Goldmember: And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it [mutters] Goldmember: KC and the Sunshine Band. Dr. Evil: Boo-frickity-hoo. Dr. Evil: Quid pro-quo, Mr. Powers. Austin Powers: Yes, squid pro row. Fat Bastard: I've been tryin' to go legit. Austin Powers: Of course... Fat Bastard: But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewed... [farts] Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself? Fat Bastard: Maybe. [laughs] Fat Bastard: It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, anylisis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick... ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap! Fat Bastard: [moans] This diaper's making my nuts rub together. It's gonna start a fire. Austin Powers I, II, III (does it show that I think it's the best trilogy of all times) |
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| Christophe | Posted: Fri Apr 21 09:54:16 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.
Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake. Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Elsa. Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By." Sam: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Elsa. I'm a little rusty on it. Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum... [Sam begins playing] Ilsa: Sing it, Sam. Sam: [singing] You must remember this / A kiss is still a kiss / A sigh is just a sigh / The fundamental things apply / As time goes by. / And when two lovers woo, / They still say, "I love you" / On that you can rely / No matter what the future brings-... Rick: [rushing up] Sam, I thought I told you never to play-... [Sees Ilsa. Sam closes the piano and rolls it away] [Annina is contemplating Renault's offer of exit visas for sex] Annina: Oh, monsieur, you are a man. If somone loved you very much, so that your happiness was the only thing that she wanted in the world, but she did a bad thing to make certain of it, could you forgive her? Rick: Nobody ever loved me that much. Annina: And he never knew, and the girl kept this bad thing locked in her heart? That would be all right, wouldn't it? Rick: You want my advice? Annina: Oh, yes, please. Rick: Go back to Bulgaria. Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca? Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters. Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert. Rick: I was misinformed. Rick: I'm the only cause I'm interested in. Senor Ferrari: Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed miracles. Rick: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine. Ilsa: Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time. Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart. Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot. Captain Renault: I was informed you were the most beautiful woman ever to visit Casablanca. That was a gross understatement. Casablanca Charles Foster Kane: Rosebud. Female reporter: If you could've found out what Rosebud meant, I bet that would've explained everything. Thompson: No, I don't think so; no. Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Rosebud was something he couldn't get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn't have explained anything... I don't think any word can explain a man's life. No, I guess Rosebud is just a... piece in a jigsaw puzzle... a missing piece. Charles Foster Kane: You're right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars *next* year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in... 60 years. Thompson: He made an awful lot of money. Bernstein: Well, it's no trick to make a lot of money... if what you want to do is make a lot of money. Bernstein: A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl. Susan: Forty-nine thousand acres of nothing but scenery and statues. I'm lonesome. Susan is leaving Kane] Kane: [pleading] Don't go, Susan. You mustn't go. You can't do this to me. Susan: I see. So it's YOU who this is being done to. It's not me at all. Not how I feel. Not what it means to me. [laughs] Susan: I can't do this to you? [odd smile] Susan: Oh, yes I can. Kane, age eight: [talking about snowman] Maybe I'll make some teeth and whiskers... Charles Foster Kane: A toast, Jedediah: to Love on my own terms [last lines] Raymond: Throw that junk in. Citizen Kane |
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| Wisenheimer | Posted: Fri Apr 21 15:01:46 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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Oh sorry, that first one was Al Pacino in The Devils Advocate |
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| zander83 | Posted: Fri Apr 21 23:22:22 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
| Thin red line
First Sgt. Edward Welsh: There's not some other world out there where everything's gonna be okay. There's just this one, just this rock. ------------- First Sgt. Edward Welsh: In this world, a man, himself, is nothing. And there ain't no world but this one. ------------- Legend of 1900 1900: Winter comes, you wish it was summer. Summer comes, you live in dread of winter. That's why we never tire of travel. ------------------- The man who wasn't there Reidenschneider: They got this guy, in Germany. Fritz Something-or-other. Or is it? Maybe it's Werner. Anyway, he's got this theory, you wanna test something, you know, scientifically - how the planets go round the sun, what sunspots are made of, why the water comes out of the tap - well, you gotta look at it. But sometimes you look at it, your looking changes it. Ya can't know the reality of what happened, or what would've happened if you hadn't-a stuck in your own goddamn schnozz. So there is no "what happened"? Not in any sense that we can grasp, with our puny minds. Because our minds... our minds get in the way. Looking at something changes it. They call it the "Uncertainty Principle". Sure, it sounds screwy, but even Einstein says the guy's on to something. ------------- Ed Crane: He told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then he said the facts had no meaning. -------------- Wonderfalls(tv show) Pink Flamingo: Get off your ass. -------------- Jaye: So, how long have you been using the Republican Party as a lesbian dating service? ----------------- Monkey: Lick the light switch |
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| Wisenheimer | Posted: Fri Apr 21 23:52:47 2006 | Post | Quote in Reply |
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from Die Fetten Jahre Sind Vorbei (The Edukators):
Jan: "I've got news for you, Corporate Man: your days are numbered! All this goddamn technology has made you soft but the rest of the world is angry. Sooner or later you won't be able to keep them sedated with game shows and shopping. The antidepressants won't work forever either. People are sick of your fucked-up system." Hardenburg: "I admit that some of what you say is true, but I'm the wrong person to be blamed for. Yes, I've been playing the game but I didn't make up the rules." Peter: "It's not who invented the gun, man. It's who pulls the trigger." Jan: Fear is a powerful drug when you learn to use it. ================================ from American History X: Bob Sweeney: There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions. Derek Vinyard: Like what? Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better? Seth: Who do you hate, Danny? Danny Vinyard: I hate anyone that isn't white Protestant. Seth: Why? Danny Vinyard: They're a burden to the advancement of the white race. Some of them are all right, I guess... Seth: None of 'em are fucking all right, Danny, OK? ======================= from Tigerland: Miter: You know what I am Bozz? I'm a butcher. Bozz: Yeah, we all butchers, Miter. Miter: No, I'm a real butcher. Bozz: Shit, you haven't killed anyone yet. Miter: God damn it, Bozz, I mean a real butcher. Back home I cut meat. Private: Sarge, you got any advice on how to stay alive in vietnam? Sergeant Cota: Yes, I do, Private. Don't go. Hmm, that's it for now. |
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