Designs Avradaous Posted: Tue May 16 19:14:11 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     What am I like? I am a child, a child at heart. A 90's baby, one who grew up wathing the turtles, he-man, ghostbusters and back to the future. One who remembers a time, when nothing seemed to matter, nothing really does when we look back on it, I suppose it did then. Care free times, free times, no pressure, or once again at least none that seemed to ammount to anything now. Times when certain concepts didn't even have a place, no need to be free of anything, without a knowledge of what freedom was. Does it mean I was not free, the stuggle for a semblance of freedom in our lives, in the world can mean so much now. I know I was happy. Happy in Ignorance, Happy not knowing, and they tell you knowledge is power, is it not torture for the soul. This knowing. This not even knowing what it is that you know, only that it too will ammount to nothing at all. So, was I not Free, I was Alive, I was happy, once. I do know I am now sidetracked, as always, an endless chain of thoughts to fog your heart, and what you really do know. I know I was a 90's baby, I remember bad songs, Thiller, Vannila Ice, but mostly the memories that went with them, the times that went with them. I remember watching bad programs, like Around the twist, I remember hearing their songs, and reading bad books. I remember a time when any thought placed in your head led not to the world outside it. I remember when you only needed to close your eyes, or drift in a landscape to set foot in a world where anyhting was possible, where your next breathe would carry you away on boundless wings of your own imagiation. And that whatever you choose to do, wherever your feet led you could lead to something great, something magnificent. I was the hero then, living my own adventures and nothing else mattered because anything was possible. Then I fell asleep and now, What am I? Still a child, a frightened one, one who still clings to possiblities, yet one who knows that I can not wait forever, old resentments are gone now, and I am alone with myself again, but it is hardly the same, because life pushes on without me, new resentments are born and I scarscely have time for them, but how they niggle. Pressures build, to do, something, and I grow tired waiting, waiting, because I am not Free to search, or because I FEAR THEY DO NOT EXIST, I am Scared, that I may have to live the life that is before me, that I may have to play the game that is before me, that I am playing the game that is before me, and I am no Knight or Bishop, no Castle or King. But that I am just a pawn, one pawn, alone, searching. I fear not that one side is against me, for I stand on no side. I fear not that two sides are against me. It is that niether side can see me that troubles me so. Slowly I give in, begin to admit the truth I have been forced to accept and slowly I succumb. So What am I like? I am a child, I must always try to cling to that which is labeled ignorance. Because the future I see now, is not whatever I dream it to be, but it is one I do not want, so all i can do is cling to a time when anything was possible, and wait   ifihadahif Posted: Tue May 16 19:56:28 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     Ah yes, you too will be assimilated. Welcome to the forum dude.   addi Posted: Tue May 16 20:45:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     I second that, Hif..Welcome Avradaous   sweet p Posted: Tue May 16 22:02:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     hi avradaous. i feel like going for a walk..want to come?   Avradaous Posted: Wed May 17 19:47:20 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     Thanx,   misszero Posted: Sat May 20 21:44:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     you guys had round the twist in ireland? with the lighthouse and stuff?   mat_j Posted: Tue Jun 6 18:35:39 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     misszero said: >you guys had round the twist in ireland? with the lighthouse and stuff? Round the Twist was one of the best damned TV shows of the ninties! I remember when i was 16 i did work experience at my old school and i got to read one of the Paul Jennings books the series was based on to the class, it was excellent.   misszero Posted: Wed Jun 7 03:44:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply     man, i thought that was an australian cultural oddity! hooray! I used to watch it everyday after school with my sister. I used to dream about finding out exactly where that damned lighthouse was (this was before i learned to read the credits for stuff like that) there were a few austrlianisms in some of the books as i recall... were they still awesome?   [ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]