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Nice guys finish last... And thats why we are so bitter
SpicyMchaggis Posted: Mon Aug 24 19:22:54 2009 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Why does it seem that nice guys always finish last? It feels like everything I do goes unnoticed and that I always get shit on. Now days I'm nothing more than a bitter shell of a man that is fueled by anger.

kurohyou Posted: Tue Aug 25 22:19:04 2009 Post | Quote in Reply  
  SpicyMchaggis said:
>Why does it seem that nice guys always finish last? It feels like everything I do goes unnoticed and that I always get shit on. Now days I'm nothing more than a bitter shell of a man that is fueled by anger.

Sounds familar. I know this feeling you speak of well. In fact, there are many who would say I have not changed since my youth, that I'm still a sad, strange, bitter little man who thrives mostly on anger. And in a sense. They are right.

Two things here I'll comment to. The question you ask has no answer. It's a question all of us who percieve, or who have perceived ourselves to be good guy have thought at one point or another.

It generally is associated with relationships in some way or another, and we get the idea that we are getting the shaft because we think we play the game the some kind of moral code.

Truth be, its not about how we play the game, its about how we react after we play our cards, and how the game pans out. We think, because of some lofty idealism that playing the game fairly and justly will automatically assure us a place of honor in that which we would like a stake in.

But what we forget to take into account is, for lack of a better term, the chaos factor. The fact that this world we live in is infinatly complex, and things don't often work out as we expect or would like them to. That is just how it is.

Experience and introspection helps with this, in that one can train their mind to perceive the world differently and therefore react more appropraitely. And, if you get really good at it, you can anticipate events before they happen.

To some it may seem like precognition, but in reality it's a heightened sense of awareness which only comes from discipline, patience and focus.

The second thing I will comment to is the "fueled by anger" part. It may feel like anger fuels you, but it may not. It may be that your emotional palette is such that you convert most emotions to anger because anger is what feels most familar to you.

I know this was my case, and to one extent or another still is. Without getting into detail, ask yourself. Why? Why are you angry? Are you really angry? Is it righteous anger? Or is the anger masking something deeper, more tender you are afraid to touch? Sit with your anger for a while and see what it says? Every experience we have in this life can serve as an opening to enlightenment and understanding.

Of course you may be far older than me, more mature, more aware and more enlightened and have already done or considered all that I spoke previously. In which case, take my previous statements as you will.

For what it's worth...

Posted: Tue Aug 25 23:34:07 2009 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I can only make rough assumptions based on my past experience. I used to feel like you seem to feel when I was in high school. Nerdy and down on myself to boot.

But remember this: I promise, nice guys run shit on the outside. It's the way of the world.

addi Posted: Wed Aug 26 06:12:46 2009 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Two thoughtful posts and here I assumed this thread was started by a spambot.

mat_j Posted: Wed Aug 26 06:17:53 2009 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hi Spicy, cool name, cool band, good to have another Celtic Punk fan aboard!!

Y'know, don't think in terms of nice guys and bad guys, it demeans us all, if you stick with that mindset the moment you are forced to do something bad (which you invariably will) you'll lose the thing you identify with in your personality.

Just remember, we're all Human, we're all flawed, being nice does not negate these flaws. Don't work for other peoples approval work to make yourself happy, if anger is the only fuel source you have make it righteous anger and don't piss it away with feeble vendettas.

All that said, much as Kurohyou advised, this is jsut me making assumptions about things, you know you better than we ever could.

Don't give up amigo.


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