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Never Underestimate Yourself
JAZER
15 Feb 2003
Blinded by emotion and jaded by reality, my biggest problem lay between confusion and me. Where do you begin when your heart has left your possession? How do you say what you should or do what you would, had your heart not been on the line?
The things we love about someone, in the beginning, can also be the things that push us away when the end comes. How twisted is that?! How do you distinguish between the things that are perfect for you and those that are ridiculously wrong? Shouldn't it be apparent as to which is which? Why is it that the things that are obviously insane are the things we must have, do or see? Why must everything worth doing be so complicated? To the extreme that it's almost worth "not doing" anymore. I realize that we must go through bad experiences to appreciate the great ones, but there's got to be an easier way to go about it. Something a little less stressful with less pain involved when things don't go as planned.
Why must devastation be so controlling? Why must we fight so hard to survive after tragedy? Why do we depend on others for our own happiness? And do other people's misfortunes really make us appreciate the things we take for granted? We say they do, but in reality, it only makes us thankful that what ever circumstance found them, didn't run us out of hiding as well.
They say "The truth shall set you free" and I believe this to the up-most extreme. But why are lies so easily told and how do we live in deceit so comfortably? Why do we work so hard for the dollar when all we do is pass it along to someone else? They also say "Money can't buy happiness" but not a single person can honestly say money has never affected their happiness. I do agree, however, that money cannot buy love. Money can, on the other hand, buy you all the lust you can handle. All this is sad…but all I am saying are the things you're to scared to voice. Does this make me different? That somehow these questions aren't relevant to me. Oh no! Maybe that means that they apply to me more. Because, most people wonder all these things, but forget about them the instant that something else occupies their one-tracked mind. Is that safe? Does that keep people sane? Maybe we think that if we put things in the back of our minds, eventually, they'll be pushed so far into the darkness, they'll fall off the edge of our mind. I regret to inform you that this is highly unlikely. If anything, if will only grow. It will get much bigger than it was when you shoved it aside. Until you have no choice but to deal with it, however you see fit.
It's our choice whether we make the right decisions or the wrong one. But how do we know at the in question, which is the right one? Life could be much simpler you know. But if it were, we'd only request that it be even more so. So, suck it up! This is life. The one we've individually chosen to live. This is the path we've drug ourselves along in search of whatever is important to us. We get upset when life throws us a curve ball, but shouldn't we use that curve ball to hit a home run? To achieve our goals…no one said that would be easy. Matter of fact, you were probably assured of the exact opposite. And yet, still we expect for us, it will be different. Again, almost positively not. Maybe it even gets harder as time goes by. That sounds promising doesn't it? Is it possible that the only things we have to look forward to, are the things we've already done? Hoping someone will recognize our accomplishment, or reward us for our hard work. The only person you can depend on is yourself. If you feel like you should be rewarded…go buy yourself a piece of pie at Joe's Diner and listen to everyone complain about their "circumstance." I can almost bet, that will make your glory only more sanctified.
We've all been victims of guilty pleasure, in whatever form that you choose. However you slice it, it will still be something you should have never even cut. I guess this is where, learning from our mistakes takes place. Most of us chose to do this the hard way. But then again, is there any other way?
We can all sit and ponder about how bad our broken heart hurts, or how much money we need. But I think a little appreciation for the life that we've been given is long over-due. As long as we survive, the glass will never be empty. No matter how many drinks we take, something will always be there to fill it again. Even if we have to do it ourselves. Don't forget that you're never really "alone." And in the quietness, you'll always hear the clock ticking in the background or the dogs bark outside. Things can always be "worse." So never under-estimate the power of "yourself!"
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