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(…. Dream)
myself
27 Feb 2003
For some horribly unjust reason I've awoken to the sounds of some heavy-duty construction. As I "function" on minimal brainpower, I drift down from my room to the lower floor of my house. With immediate adjustment to light and gravity I have to wonder what in thine hell happened to me into my sleep last night. Upon this personal inquiry more pressing duties presented them self. As I speedily ran to the rest room, I realized that running was a bad idea. After relieving myself for a seeing fortnight, utterly exhausted, I force myself to lie on the cold, hard bone white tile. What in the Lord's name happened? Was I ill? Was some horrible virus deconstructing my body as I lay humbled to the floor? The gravity of these questions occupying my mind filling it utterly, so much so I did not even notice that I was no longer in my rest room but lying on a beach. Which I found peculiar at the time.
The grainy texture of sand ran through my fingers as I heard the waves gently caressing like the touch of a newborn's mother. Everything was changed; I was not in my previous outfit of boxers and flip-flops. I was barefoot and wearing well-fitted khakis, shirtless, with the setting sun warming my skin. Is this real? It was surely real, but the bathroom had seemed so fake. I was left to wonder while I gazed into the sun. It's present of heat warming my skin , with the gentle delicacy as if it knew what I personally wanted it to do. The sand felt warm and the air was also. I lost myself and loved it. I did not stir from my up right sitting position, afraid of breaking the peace and gazed at the setting sun. Then a hand gently placed itself upon my shoulder; it did not startle me, but I left it stay there for a moment until I turned and gazed on the figure.
My stomach lost its balance and seemed to be turn upside down. However the shock of the instant was gone as quickly as it came. The wind tossed her golden hair lightly while the sun exposed her gentle lines. My mind remained silent; we gazed deeply as she lowered herself and sat next to me. There was nothing special in how she did it, but every movement is etched in my mind. Then without words we each turned while the sun moved in the same way it had for eons. The night came out quickly, as the night illuminated with stars the moon was nowhere to be seen. I laid back to watch the sheer beauty of the stars. Each one shown with purity. She eventually laid back also placing her head on my chest. With every breath she gently rose. Neither of us had said a thing. I had to tell her, I had to say how much she meant. How much I screwed up and how sorry I was.
"You know-"
"You don't need to say that," she abruptly interjected. "I understand."
Some time passed, and we each stayed still until she broke the silence; "So how about them O's?"
I could do nothing but find the humor in the catch phrase I had uttered so many times.
"So, how about them?" I replied with a rapier's wit.
Then time stood still; it had no reason to move. In the moment I was still lost and fell unknowingly into sleep. A fool's sleep writhed upon me and truly found the right dimwit. I awoke seeming hours later. Slowly I listened for the ocean but heard only the drip of a broken faucet. She wasn't there; I was back in my old clothes and sandals. In amazement, from the ground I uplifted. The sudden jolt to reality confused me. She was real; I felt the sand. Confused, I rose from the tile and approached the sink to check vitals and assess the damage. Hastily turning on the water I gently splashed the cool water on my face. Then my eyes met their reflection in the mirror. Analyzing my face, I saw no change except for a light lipstick mark on my check. It did not surprise me so I turned away. Sitting on the sink, I thought. Giving up after a time, to confusion I started to walk off. Though I really wasn't yet defeated, I turned for a last look. Satisfied nothing changed, I ran my hand through my hair, which forced out the sand particles. As I watched them fall into the sink.
losing someone hurts
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