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  • Of old loves, dreams, and rangpanchami
    Ajinkya Pawar
    17 Mar 2004

    march the 17th, 20041 1 : 3 6 p m

    All these days, how many times did I turned my head towards the dark sky of the nght? I was yearning to experience another sesssion of night sky observation. I love it. The dark cloudless, far-from-city-lights sky.The cool winds. Its one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. My heart bloats, I become too happy.
    I phoned Aniruddha to fix a date with the almighty. (BTW, he's scored 97% in GATE exam with 750th something all India rank. Good. Just might make to IIT's...coool) We'r gonna do that soon. Anyways, just a few minutes ago, I went on the terrace. The big 'Citi-finance' board is too fuckin' bright, as are the sodium street lamps. Only the brightest of the stars are visible. (Thats why I love it when the lights go out at nights or evenings. The pitch black darkness covers the block , and suddenly the shy jewels of sky emerge to peek at us. The beautiful geometries they create..simply splendid... the jewel box (open star cluster)near Taurus for instance. Its unfathomably vast and varied. The bluish Rigel of the Orion's shoulder is like 84 times wider than Sun... U wanna speak of galaxies, clusters of them (btw, our milkyway is in Virgo super Cluster of Galaxies), the superwall, and weirdos like black holes, pulsars, Quasars (LGM's (lil' green men) if U r reading it in 1960s) and what not... I remember in school days, being smarter than the average, knowing all, very keen on non-academic stuff. Especially Astronomy..it was my life for those few years. I knew it all. I debated with the biggies in the field. I am not even 10th of what I was in that field. But I have grown at most others. I dont study it as I used to, but I surely enjoy n' understand its beauty far more. I reduced as a science student, and grew as a human. when I return there, I find it more beautiful. It was 'interesting' and 'amusing' earlier, now its 'beautiful' and sometimes 'mystical'.
    The bright Jupiter lay below the lion of the heaven..the leo, and orion with his bow n' all was going down. (orion's my favorite.. Its such a attention holder. The orion and horsehead nebula in there is so beyond cool. Orion stands with such grace, aiming..)
    It seemed the leo was more of a cub, and playing with the bright ball of jupiter, Come to think if it, what would it feel if we were of that gigantic proportions, and capable of playing with the magnificient wonders. ..I might not change much, but it would be great to see comets passing by, to put saturn in my bathtub, Put fruits n' stuff in Jupiter's atmosphere, so that I would get good cocktails from the Great Red Spot, Travel at far reaches of the universe, and bring bach home some friends from outer space...
    ***
    I drew out my cell phone in vain, imagining that there is a girl on this chance sphere, who I would love to share this moments with. Or atleast cladenstinely talk to. No, instead I recieved a chain-message from Piyush, It said
    " Space seems like an empty word, but its full of Special People Around Caring Endlessly.Thank U 4 being a part of my space. "
    Thank U 2 dude . But when is she, the beholder to the key to a special SPACE, gonna meet me.
    I returned to my room.

    *****

    The matches between India and Pakistan are turning out to be a real roller Coster ride. A cliffhanger. In both the matches the runs scored were above 650. Thats some heavy bashing, guys.
    Anyways, I noticed something, that, when Sachin Tendulkar got out, I let out a loud "Shit', and when the camera panned to the joyous pak cricketers gathering and hugging, I found myself smiling. In that moment it wasnt a opposition team, it was a bunch of ppl jumping with real joy. I was flowing with the moment, and the sight made me content aswell. Even though I was sad at Sachin's dismissal, for that moment, I was happy for shoaib and the gan aswell.
    I guess if this translates to something at a wider scale, the true aim of the series -'Jeetlo Dil' 'To win hearts' and to bond brotherhood, will truely be achieved. The spectators in stadia also behaved amazingly cordial. It surely is a good sign. Hope that things fall at its places, and we find each other in brotherly hug.

    *****

    I had a dream yesterday night. It was weird. Like, 2 dreams at a time. In it there was no me, it was somebody else, he was an actor from a movie, the one who looks a bit like eminem. Or I was looking like him, ie. I was with his face. Both the ..tracks, run almost interweavingly.
    Well, in track 1,I am a commentator. I see Shankar (shankar-ehsaan-loy) with long hair, as a baller of Indian team. I comment something funny on him about his obesity, which he can hear.( I dont remember it, it was something like show'em weaner is better than thinner).Then there's a whole bunch of engineer, a lot of them, all guys, sitting at a college mess with metal parts, kitchen kinda furniture, all metal. Then I surprise everyone by letting ppl in. These are like spouses, gfs families etc. And the guys seem to be fearful as in about to get caught in some misdeed.
    Track 2 - I am in a shabby room. Its cold, dark, dirty. Cardboards, trash aroud. I am among beggars and homeless ppl. I dont remember if there was a door to room, but if there was, it was open. I am lying down. I warmly welcome anyone in need of shelter. Then there comes a foul, heidous, dirty, angry, with a few tooths broken, hair and clothes haggard, deranged man with a short weapon in his hand. I am not sure if He attacks me and I tackle. or that he lingers or he goes.
    Then comes a lil' girl and her father. I welcome them and let them sleep here.
    I dont remember the rest.
    But, I awoke quite a few times to check around me. I was frightened a bit. The dream frightened me. It wasnt due to the deranged man alone. There's something else that frightened me and I dont know what.

    *****
    March 18, 20041 1 : 0 3 pm

    *Rangmpanchami, (11/3/2004) the best ever, and I didnt even wrote about it all these days...Well, If I dive in my soulpool and tell U through it about Rangpanchami, it would be too long a talk. Anyways, Dada was here that day, and it seems that there's something that he is hiding. And I am no help to him get out of it. I should be a lil' inderstanding, but around him I feel a bit disgusted at his attitude of wishful idealic thinking towards me, he's expectation of me being laxman like brother to him. I dont know why, but I hate to try someone else's expectation. I would rather have my own ruler gauge. Also, he is emotionaly clingy, U know holding on to cold, slippery, sharp knife edge, and expecting else to pity at him and wont tell it out loud. He's also self depreciating and has low self cofidence. Maybe 7 yrs out in the rural part, that too khandesh, shrunk his spirits. And these are the very qualities I hate in someone. But dada has counterbalancing,sorry counter overpowering qualities that make him him. So lovable, dependable, comforting and accomodating.
    He'll give away his everything for someone who might fall in his radar of need-for-care. He's very humble. He's very understanding. He keeps up with all our relatives and friends. ( i am loathed, almost cursed at by our relatives, cause, I, forget visit them, dont even call or know stuff about them). He knows everybody's happenings, and dates and names..all the stuff that keeps relations intact (I just might remember how are they related to me, and that would be enough). He runs to anybody's help. He makes friends like that. And keeps them aswell. He cares for me very much. Almost to the point of stupidity.
    I guess, The above two paragraphs are the same things seen from different frontiers. Anyways, I wrote all this NOW, because, dada was not going to play rangpanchami. I coaxed him, but he wont budge. I didnt try hard enough. Coz' I felt he expected me to understand his dismay at something, which I didnt had a clue about. He is shy anyways.
    Sorry dada, the-vishal-experience has made me weary of expectations.
    I decided to bunk my Pro-E class. Kids in our app., Patils, patel, and shantanu sharayu were playing color from morning. They would spray with their hand pumps on the ppl on road. It was fun watching them. I remember me that age doing that.
    I took out the green colour pouch from last year's rangpanchami (It was mostly in the college bus while returning from Loni to our college. We had metallurgy practical at Loni that day. It was Sunday. Shit..). Rohit had phoned me and called at Amit's place. On the way I got a bit wet. In the mildly dark living room of amit's place were Rohit, yuvraj, Swapnil, Sagar, his brother (tere naam haircut with broken teeth and dark comlexion!) and Amit. We headed out bought some colors. Amit, Swapnil, and Yuvraj had made quite some water-color baloons. We went to Yuvraj's place. Tried to color our faces in triColor, but my green was too mild. Meanwhile the onslaught of baloons over poor bikers and Rahul was on. It wasnt much fun there. Then we colored eachother anyways. I had a silver peace sign on my face. We then did rounds on College road. There were many policemen. Not as severe as on Valentine..they ruined the valentine. They even barricated some roads. We hid our baloons when we passed cops. Swapnil was seated behind me. He would throw the colored water on girls alone. The traffic cop at Canada corner stoped and adviced us against it..Ya like he's gonna listen. I checked at Vishal D's place but he wasnt there. By this time we were fragmented. Rohit and Amit were somewhere, Yuvraj and his friend somewhere else, and rahul, sagar and his bro also got lost. So meanwhile,I took to Surya's place. They all had left just a few min ago. I then went to the dancing crowds on the road near Jalaram's in front of my app. I met there Vishal D, Surya, Pradip, Abhishek, Pravin. We danced quite a lot. Music was loud and very danceable. They were showering water over us. We enjoyed. I was looking for Rohit and guys as well. They were still doing rounds. They are weary of any kind of Physical exertion. Yuvraj and swapnil want to dance n' enjoy, but they are subdued in the presence of rohit. It feels somehow rude to dance when a freind doesnt. I would rather drag him in. but he wouldnt. So I joined the Vishal D gang, and managed to pull in Swapnil, Sagar.
    I didnt like the fact that girls were targeted and they alone. All guys would almost attack any girl passing by. Its ok 'til a certain limit, Later, when the crowd was building up, girls almost slowed down to halt, and boys would attack them with all the colors. Some even touched girls. This I didnt know until later, coz I didnt go on the road when girls passed by to shower them. i just continued dancing. Vishal D and gang were fun. A journalist filmed us dancing. In the afternoon, police came and and guys ran like gnat. Bike's kick started and were up running in record time. It was a splendid scene. All tWe had left quite a few seconds ago, We were on our way to Old Nasik. Rohit and gang didnt wanted to go, Vishal D's did. I somehow pusuaded Rohit, but I was seated behind Abhishek on his mobike, and that flee caued the Vishal D and group to go ahead. And Rohit and gang stayed behind. They have some ego problem, u know. Anyways, I knew it wouldn't be much fun with constant agitating and complaining of rohit. I was trying for the last hour, running between the 2 groups to combine them together to have max fun. Pradip, Vishal, Surya.. are fun ppl, open minded. Rohit is selfcentric and scared of evasive changes. They wont budge and werent flexible. I somehow convinced them to join us to old nasik. But they didnt follow. Yuvraj did, but they didnt. I had to take a choice between rohit gang-boring-complaining-rounds of Collegeroad-nothing else and Vishal D's group-fun-jokes-various places-open to suggestions and surprises.
    On the way we stopped at a house in the lane from ashok Stambh to RK. there were kids playing water and color. They threw quite a lot on us. In shani galli or thereof everybody was colored Yellow. Firstly I though I must have something in my eyes. Everything there was yellow.
    Whenever there was someone holding a water gun or bucket or anything, we would gladly take the showers and blasts. I love it.
    Vishal D and us went to RAHAD in the panchvati area. Its a pit dig every rangpanchami. Its a old tradition. They cover it after Ranngpanchami. They fill the pit with red colored water. And ppl jump in it. There was a large crowd, eager to jump in. And equally enthusiastic crowd at a distance dancing wildly, throwing their clothes on the electric wires overhead. The pit is about the size of a small room and approx. height of 6 feet.There are guys seated around allowing ppl to enter from one side only. And helping out the ppl in the pit. It was quite difficult to keep ppl out. I jumped twice. Surya did it 5 times. Pravin once with 3 submergences then n there. Else 1. It was fun. All wet head to feet. All clothes turning dark pinkish. It was a blast and a memory for ever. Then we went further in the old nasik, where there was a shower dance. ie in a narrow alley, ppl sit on bamboos holding
    hoses and pipes showering the ppl beneath with colored and simple water. Its a blast. a crowded one. Nevertheless, very enjoyable. we danced a lot there again. Then Surya got in frenzy and started tearing shirts. His was torn by some freak occurence. Mine was torn to 2 pieces, even my pant pocket was torn. Vishal T was a bit torn and he got very upset. I had no shirt, bare like Salman Khan, and I didnt object much, And here was Vishal who's shirt got a lil bruise all upset and all. He is too picky with his appearance. Anyways he didnt carry that for long. We tried real hard to tear Abhishek's shirt, but it wont. His shirt was really very tough. In the effort to tear his shirt with my feet, (he torn mine) my pant's some stitches got loose. But his shirt was intact. Then we went to Someshwar. I swam across the river with a dude I dont know. On the way my legs got cramped. But I kept swimming for dear life. Then after massaging some, I swam back to the gang. They had swam after me aswell. There was fun and frolic all around. Some bathing. There ware many colors. But dark pink was the most abundant. Water turned that color when someone dipped. It was fun.
    I guess trying to not write too lengthy a tale, I wrote negative stuff alone. So U get it, the negative stuff's just that lil'. There was far more positive stuff. It was a gladly memorable rangpanchami. The best since I was a kid no more.

    *****


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