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Poetry on Heart Break
Kaydi Chou
11 Jul 2004
THE LITTLE UNKNOWN CHURCH
There's a musty smell in my clothes.
I slept in them last night
'Cause I had stayed up late
With thoughts running through my head,
Like little naked babes about a house.
Babies are cute like that.
Anyway,
I turned on the radio
And listened to the classical music station,
Getting lost in the piece
and feeling myself melt away
Like a piece of butter on the sidewalk,
Where you can cook eggs on it during a certain month of the year.
While listening to the music,
I found myself shifting through time
And memories.
I thought of that day when
We walked down to the lake.
It was fall,
And the trees looked like they were on fire,
And when I turned to look at you
You were so beautiful I wanted to cry.
So I proposed.
And we got hitched in the little unknown church
That sits in the far corner of town.
It was small
And a bit cheap.
But I knew you liked the wedding,
Because you didn't stop laughing
Or crying from happiness.
All day you were like the sun.
Your sister moon must have been very jealous.
I wish I could have given you more.
You deserved so much better than me.
I'm so sorry.
It's all my fault.
I should be the one whose name is carved on the gravestone
Next to the little unknown church.
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FISHED OUT
Kept on hold
On the nylon telephone line of a fishing
Pole.
Bite a microscopic little bite of the bait
That sways tauntingly in the water.
Sweet tastes in the water:
Sugar,
Candy,
Kisses-
All in the water.
Part once,
Twice,
Thrice,
And come back for more.
Oops.
Hooked.
Caught on the rusty serated edge
And unable to tear away,
Frantic eyes spazzmatically search
For an escape from deleterious love.
But there is still the sweet
Sickingly sweet
Taste in the water.
Sway.
Sway
In the gentle breeze,
Too kind for good
Too soft for safety.
Can't breathe
In the breeze.
No hands for clawing away at the aqua lungs
To soothe the soul but ravage the body.
Gentle hands
That mean death
Close around the neck.
Love hurts
With a pop, crack, and tearing of the mouth,
With the slow suffocation
Of burning midnight air
As lungs break.
You've been denied.
You've been gut-ified.
And everything's all over.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BALLAD BY THE SEA
Click tick tick
The clock struck twelve
And the silver string of life
Was snipped short by Fate's shearing scissors
While the story of our love
Slipped through my shaking hands
The first time we met
In the garden by the sea
And the pink roses smelled so sweet
Like old wedding lace kept gently folded in a keepsake box
As shy eyes met
And interest by subconscious means
Sparked a gentle flame
The first time we kissed
By the melancholy sea
And the minute grains of sand
Were sifted through hair by the brave West wind
Tossed back into the retreating waves
Which will always break and fold
As constant as time
The first time we made vows
In the quiet of the night
With the stars of bright eyes watching
And the wise owls of the sea
That cooed and called our names
Upon the whispers of white breeze
Where the spirits of the trees
Recorded all we said
The first time we melted
Together as one soul, one being
In the white-clothed bedroom nestled by the sea
While white sunlight streamed in
Pure, crisp, and clean
As gauzy breezy gossamer curtains
Floated, not waved
Gently in the wind
Click tick tick
Your soul is gone upon that very wind
And your lips are cold
Stiff as stone
The Fates have cut your silver string
And the story of our love
Is clenched in my shaking fingers
Drifing slowly back into the retreating waves
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOST LOVE
There was a time when I thought love was another twisted ploy of the media
Meant to wrap everyone within it's silken web
Meant to deceive all those that believed it that there was something better
Something about you and I for us to feel for each other
I used to tell myself,
"When I find that man,
I will make him prove his love for me.
I will not trust his words
Because girls who trust boys
Are too trusting.
I will make him run in circles.
I will make him dance as if upon Hell's fire.
I will be the woman to make him regret he ever mentioned that word
Love.
I will be the woman to send him to Hell."
I used to look upon those in "love" with spite and cynicism
And think if it was for real
If how they looked at each other with a vague mist in their eyes
If that was not some trick of the light
Or some devilry made of their own self-deceiving emotions.
Oh, what a bitter heart of black I had
And how content I was with it.
I used to listen to tormenting love songs
With lilting notes and heart-wrenching melodies,
Just to feel as if I had lost the one I loved.
And it is just now
That I realize that the reason I had such hate for love
Was because I had indeed lost the one I loved.
I had lost you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MISLEAD
What's it like to have your heart broken?
To be lead on foolishly
To believe all the spoon-fed lies that boys feed you
To live off that dirty deceit
Is it possible?
Oh, I think it is.
I've done it.
You thought you could hide it.
But I've got the inside sources.
Don't you know
Anything red hot and scandalous always reaches the ears
Of the one who shouldn't hear it?
I heard it.
You know,
They say the walls come crashing down when you're in love
They failed to mention that you usually go down with them.
At least in the end.
What posessed you to do this to me?
I tried.
I did.
And I was so afraid to rip open my flesh and reveal myself to you.
And I'm so damn fragile anyway.
Well, glad to know you were there to show me the path.
To take me by the hand
And then push me into a damn tree
As you drove away.
Well, after chewing up that bark and spitting it out,
Letting the bitter taste melt into my tongue,
I kinda realized something.
You're an ass.
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