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  • Balance Work And Family
    Sharan Pal Singh Sandhu
    1 Apr 2006


    Juggling family with odd working hours or more working hours is not only difficult but it unbalances the life and throws the family life into disarray. Because slowly you get habituated and you think that you are tuned to handle pressure. As you are actually going up the ladder rung by rung you will realize later that the ladder is leaning on the wrong wall. The so called financial independence is just an excuse we use to get away with the guilt of sacrificing family.

    “Families give us roots, our heritage, and our past. They also give us the springboard to our future. Nothing in this world is stronger than the bond that a family can form. That is a bond of pure love that will withstand any pressure as long as the love is kept in the forefront.” Says Jim Stovall. The people who believe that work should be given priority over family are workaholic and are on the path of self-indulgence which will lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Financial independence at the cost of family is foolishness.

    Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed.

    We take happiness as purely based on the financial achievements and the appreciation given by the seniors. We don’t bother to look around and are never available for any of the family functions or friends’ marriages or deaths of the close relatives. Immersed totally in going up in professional life we make ourselves understand that the family is very understating and supportive. We feel proud that we are earning the economic security for our families. We cherished the materialistic things and rush to acquire them and possess them as much as we can. A small pat on the back or a simple ‘congratulations’ by the peers motivate us to give more time for work and ignore the family. To boost our motivation levels we keep moving from one task to the other mechanically. We keep taking up every responsibility that comes on the way and in few years we the mechanical life starts consuming 15 to 18 hours of our life. Such situations leave no time for family or any other personal matter.

    It is said that some crisis are better as they bring awareness in you. A sudden shock or after reaching the peak of the ladder when we find ourselves alone and empty, we look for some solution. The happiness is no where in sight. There is no enjoyment in life. And we also find that we have been plagued by aching muscles, loss of appetite, restless sleep, and a complete sense of exhaustion. There is emptiness in the life. You sit and look back at all your past employers and find that all those for whom you gave second priority to your family, for whom you sacrificed your family’s time, you gave them more than what they paid you for, don’t even remember you. This disappoints you more.

    The relaxation turns to exhaustion, and a sense of satisfaction turns to feelings of stress. The weigh scale shows that you are a loser in the whole bargain. You feel the level of stress driving you crazy. And here lies the moment where you can make or break your life. If you will have the willpower you will fight the stress out of you and it is very necessary. The stress appears when our bodies react to a challenge, mental or physical, by increasing metabolism, elevating blood pressure, shooting up the heartbeat and breathing rate. Most of the times we don’t fight against stress and this gets us into trouble. A surplus of adrenaline coursing through our bodies can lead to a host of psychological and physical problems. It is not an easy task to change your mental habit pattern in few days. Habit of years to give priority to work over family can not be changed in a few days.

    The continuous and repeated efforts are required to be made with only one goal that you will keep complete equilibrium between work and family. You will realize that to work incessantly for a month to get a small appreciation is not even worth comparing with a half an hour’s play with your child. The joy in the kid’s eyes is priceless. No money can buy such moments. You need to give yourself quiet moments and go deep inside you. You have to relax your mind so that it can release all the sufferings. Never have any guilt feeling about your past. You can not change it. So just forget you past and concentrate on your present.

    Remember, as a bird requires two wings to fly or a cart needs two wheels to move, we need work and family to move on the path towards happiness. Both work and family are essential and both must be equally strong. If one wing of a bird is weak and the other is powerful, it cannot fly properly. If one wheel of a cart is small and the other is large, it will keep going in circles. Now you know, why the singer, Eminem quit? He wanted to spend more time with his daughter and family.

    Work harder, work smarter, work faster but don’t compromise. When the work tries to consume even few seconds of your family time you should become alert that the imbalance is again trying to enter in your life. So immediately take the corrective action. Mend your way instantly and balance the life. It is very important to perfectly balance our life between work and family so that we can move smoothly towards the happiness. Anything which forces you to sacrifice your family for the sake of more work is not worth ant money. Because you may get paid in terms of money but you won’t able to buy what you will lose on the family front. The employer can be good or bad but he will never be with you for your lifetime, but your family will always be with you. So maintain perfect balance between family life and work that is the smartest way!


    Edmonton, AB.