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Linux is like a wigwam, no gates, no windows and an apache inside.


(contributed by Henry Wylde)

No one will deny that Sony is a world-class hardware company, and no one would deny that Microsoft is a world-class software company. Nintendo aspires to be neither one of those things.

Peter Main, Nintendo marketing executive
San Francisco Chronicle

Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Metaphysics is a cobweb that the mind weaves around things.

We spend more time working for our labor-saving machines than they do working for us.

Bus Error - Please Take The Train.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is a big difference.

I tell my students that artificial intelligence is a property that a machine has if it astounds you.

Herbert Freeman

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

If it's not on fire then it's a software problem.

You know you've been spending too much time on the Internet when every colon appears as a pair of eyes:


As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.

Installing a new program will always screw up at least one old one.

The computer will work perfectly at the repair shop.

The time it takes to clean up after a computer virus is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

The first place to look for a lost file is the last place you would expect to find it.

Never cut what you can untie.

The trouble with experience as a teacher is that the test comes first and the lesson after.

Any sufficient advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Arthur C. Clarke

The floppy will be the wrong size.

Survive first, then do the long-term planning.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors on the way to the printer.

Regardless of the size of the program, you won't have enough hard disk space to install it.

You'll never have enough time, money, or memory.

Whatever hits from the fan will not evenly distribute.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

It works better if you plug it in.

You almost work better if you don't.

When trying to solve a problem, it always helps to know the solution.

The easier it is to get into a program, the harder it will be to get out.

To err is human, but it takes a computer to really screw things up.

At the source of every error blamed on the computer, you will find at least two errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

There's an easier way to do anything.

Every machine will eventually fall apart.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.

You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too much memory.

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

If you hit two keys on the keyboard, the one you don't want will appear on the screen.

No matter how long you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale cheaper.

All probabilities are 50 percent. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
Odds, however, are 90 percent against you.

The computer only crashes when printing a document you haven't saved.

Hot parts look exactly like cold parts.

The person who smiles when bad things happen knows who to blame it on.

If you make a copy of your system configuration nine out of ten times, the tenth time is the only time you will need it.

The more pounds the package weighs, the harder it will be to find the installation instructions.

If the new software you want requires new hardware to run, you don't need the new software.

No matter how large the hard disk, the need for space will always exceed the available space by ten percent.

The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.

There are only two kinds of computer users. Those whose hard disk has crashed and those whose hard disk hasn't crashed - yet.