Quotes [new quotes]
17 Apr 2002
I walk up to the sea front, round about the same place, round about the same time where she told me that it hurt her but she had to let me go because she had reached a stage in her life after 6 years that she couldnít love me.
The wind is perfect, just before the hot summer breeze sets in. Itís a cool a breeze actually! I see the rich and the conscious people have already finished their evening walks and jogs and strolling with their dogs. The less fortunate ones are still around, some heavily making out behind the rocks, some just watching the sea and some lonely ones like me have come to seek something that they obviously couldnít get elsewhere.
I stand up on the wall, separating the road that is the lifeline of the city from the sea that brings the fresh breath to the city I look down. The sea is a little farther away (is that a low tide?). Below me are the rocks that have taken a beating from the roaring sea for years; today they stand solid as ever, but jagged and scarred.
Still standing up on the wall I spread my arms out wide to feel the wind bounce against me, I feel like I am ready to take flight, I feel like I am ready to make that perfect 10 point dive. I feel the wind hit against my outstretched arms, the crevices between my shoulder and my chest, my face, my chest. It lifts me up a little, I think its the signal - telling me to go ahead and take the leapÖ I do.
I go up in the air momentarily and come crashing down on the rocks below. My head is badly hurt, I know itís cracked open and part of brains are lying out of my body. There is a dirty sensation of pain.. pain everywhere, its hard to feel whatís hurting and whatís not. I canít feel my left arm! I know I am alive. Time passes, I donít know how much, the crabs on the rocks have walked over me, some are hovering near my brains.(can crabs smell blood). Those grotesque, huge sewer rats are scurrying around me Ė this is worse than I thought it would be. I think some of them are nibbling on my splattered brains.
I could know there was a commotion above, someone did notice that I had decided to fly that evening. It was good because there was this sadistic side to me, which did not want to die an ugly death in obscurity. Help had arrived.
I could feel some people pulling and tugging at various parts of my body and try and move me, I think I am tired and shall sleep, I can hear them trying to find out what my name is, how they can reach my family. I pass out with a smile on my face, will she ever know what happened to me? I was declared Dead On Arrival. I think it was the perfect execution.
Quite a good idea, I say, but am I out of my mind?? I have the best tickets for a Roger Waters concert next week!