Quotes [new quotes]
RAY: After I killed them I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off my hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter the instructions came through - "Get the fuck out of London, you dumb fucking cunts. Get to Bruges." I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.
RAY: Bruges is a shithole.
KEN: Bruges is not a shithole.
RAY: Bruges is a shithole.
KEN: Ray, we've only just got off the fucking train. Could we reserve judgement on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?
RAY: I know it's gonna be a shithole.
RAY: Ken! It's just all old buildings! Can we go and get a fucking beer, please? I assume they have beer in this fucking country.
KEN: They have over threee hundred different types of beer.
RAY: Ken, I just want one.
RAY: Now this is more like it. Proper holidays. One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me, because I am normal. Ahh! Dis is duh loif.
RAY: Ken, come one, they're the English police. When they say they haven't got a single lead, they haven't got a single lead. This is my vote of what we should do. We give it another day, two days max, then we check the papers again and if there's still nothing in 'em, we phone him and say, "Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges, it's been very nice, but we're coming back to London now and hide out in a proper country where it isn't all just fucking chocolate."
KEN: These are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Designed by Rik Poot, it say, Rik Poot.
RAY: Hmm. They're not the real Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse though, are they? They're more sort of robot-like.
KEN: Yes, well, I guess they're more the artist's impression of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The real Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse didn't actually exists.
RAY: Didn't they? They were just made up?
KEN: Yes. They might exist one day. That's the whole thing.
RAY: I like robot horses. They're good.
RAY: A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves. Yes. A disproportionate amount. Of Midgets. In comparison to normal people. Herve Villechaise, off of Fantasy Island. I think somebody off 'The Time Bandits'.
CHLOE: 'The Time Bandits' is a good movie.
RAY: Yes. It's English. A hell of a lot of midgets. Kill themselves. I guess they must get really sad about, like, being really little, and that. People looking at them, and laughing at them. Calling them names. There's another famous midget I'm missing but I can't remember. It's not the R2D2 man. No, it's somebody else. I hope your midget doesn't kill himself. Your dream sequence'll be fucked.
CHLOE: He doesn't like being called a midget. He prefers 'dwarf'.
RAY: Well this is my exact point! People going round calling you a midget when you wanna be called a dwarf. Of course you're gonna blow your head off!
RAY: Purgatory. Purgatory's kind of like the inbetweeny one. "You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great, either." Like Tottenham. Do you believe in all that stuff?
RAY: The Last Judgement and the afterlife and... guilt and... sins and... Hell and... all that...?
KEN: But the things you're taught as a child, they never really leave you don't they? So I believe in trying to lead a good life, like if there's an old lady carrying her shopping home... Well, I don't try and help her carry her shopping, I don't go that far, but I'll certainly hold the door open for her and that and let her go out before me.
RAY: Yeah. And anyway, if you tried to help her carry her shopping, she'd probably think you were just trying to nick her shopping.
RAY: This is the world we live in today.
KEN: And at the same time, at the same time as trying to lead a good life, I have to reconcile that with the fact that, yes, I have killed people. Not many people. And most of them were not very nice people. Apart from one person.
RAY: Who was that?
KEN: This bloke Danny Aliband's brother. He was just trying to protect his brother. Like you or I would. He was just a lollipop man. But he came at me with a bottle. What are you gonna do? I shot him down.
RAY: Hmm. In my book, though, someone comes at you with a bottle, I'm sorry, that's is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences.
KEN: I know that in my heart, but I also know he was just trying to protect his brother, you know?
RAY: I know, but a bottle, that can kill ya. That's a case of "It's you or him". If he's come at you with his bare hands, that'd be different. That wouldn't've been fair.
KEN: But, technically, someone's bare hands, they can kill you too. They can be deadly weapons too. What if he knew Karate, say?
RAY: You said he was a lollipop man.
KEN: He was a lollipop man.
RAY: What's a lollipop man doing, knowing fucking Karate?
KEN: I'm just saying...
RAY: How old was he?
KEN: About fifty.
RAY: What's a fifty year old lollipop man doing, knowing fucking Karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man?
KEN: You didn't mean to kill a little boy.
RAY: I know I didn't mean to. But because of the choices I made, and the course that I put into action, a little boy isn't here any more. And he'll never be here again. Y'know, I mean here in the world. Not here in Belgium. Well, he'll never be here in Belgium either. He might've wanted to do, when he got older. I don't know why. And that's all because of me. He is dead because of me. And I'm try to... I'm trying to get my head round it, but I can't. I will always have killed that little boy. And that ain't ever gonna go away. Ever. Until, maybe, I go away.
KEN: Don't think like that, Ray. It'll get easier. It will.
RAY: I think that's the problem, Ken. I think that's the problem.
KEN: You coming up?
RAY: What's up there?
KEN: The view.
RAY: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that from down here.
RAY: I saw your midget today. The little prick didn't even say hello.
CHLOE: Well, he's on a lot of Ketamine.
RAY: What's that?
CHLOE: A horse tranquiliser.
RAY: A horse tranquiliser? Where'd he get that?
CHLOE: I sold it to him.
KEN Your girlfriend's very pretty.
JIMMY: She ain't my girlfriend. She'a prostitute I just picked up.
KEN: I didn't know there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
JIMMY: You just have to look in the right places. Brothels are good.
KEN: Well... You've picked up a very pretty prostitute!
JIMMY: Thank you!
KEN: You're got three grams of Coke?
RAY: I've got two grams on me and one gram in me which is why my heart is going like the clappers as if I am about to have a heart-attack so if I collapse any minute now please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.
RAY: Why didn't you wake hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?
JIMMY: I was on a very strong horse-transquiliser today. I wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except, maybe, to a horse.
RAY: Huh? You from America?
JIMMY: Yep. But don't hold that against me.
RAY: Would you ever think about it?
RAY: Would you ever think about killing yourself because you're a midget?
JIMMY: Fuck, man, what kind of a question is that?
KEN: How are you feeling?
RAY: As if I've recently murdered a little boy.
KEN: It's funny how we don't even give a shit about the priest.
RAY: You become a priest, you've got to accept whatever's coming to you. I assumed it was some paedophile thing. Didn't you? You know how Harry is about kids.
KEN: No. That church was in the middle of one of Harry's housing developments. The priest was just on the action committee against it.
RAY: Oh. Great.
RAY: I kinda like hearing people having sex. Means at least somebody around here's happy.
KEN: It doesn't mean they're happy. It just means they're having sex.
RAY: We're a barrel of fucking laughs, aren't we?
KEN: I love cocaine.
KEN: What the fuck are you doing, Ray?
RAY: Nothing. What the fuck are you doing?
RAY: Oh my God! You were gonng kill me.
KEN: No I w... You were gonna kill yourself!
RAY: Well,... I'm allowed to.
KEN: No you're not.
RAY: What? I'm not allowed to and you are? How's that fair?
RAY: Oh a great day this has turned out to be! I'm suicidal, my mate tries to kill me, my gun gets nicked, and it's bloody pissing down! And we're still in fucking Bruges!
KEN: Listen, I'm gonna give you some money and put you on a train to somewhere...
RAY: To where? To England?
KEN: You can't go back to England, Ray. You'll be a dead man.
RAY: Ken, I wanna be a dead man! Did you just miss something with that 'gun against my head' thing?
KEN: You don't want to be a dead man, Ray...
RAY: Ken! I killed a little boy...!
KEN: Then save the next little boy. Just go away somewhere, get out of this business, and try to do something good. You're not going to help anybody dead. You're not going to bring that boy back. But you might save the next one.
RAY: What am I gonna be, a fucking doctor? (You need O-levels).
KEN: Do anything, Ray. Do anything. Just get away. And don't go back to England.
RAY: So Harry Waters wants me dead. What a cunt!
KEN: He said this whole trip, this whole being in Bruges thing, was just to give you one last joyful memory before you die.
RAY: Bruges?! Bruges?! The Bahamas, maybe. Fucking... Fiji. Bruges? Why fucking Bruges?
KEN: I guess it's cheaper.
KEN: Harry? It's Ken. Listen to this noise... You know what that is? I know you know it's a train. But do you know what train? Well, it's a train that Ray's just got on, and he's alive and well, and he doesn't know where he's going and neither do I. So, if you need to do you worst, do your worst. You've got the address of the hotel, I'll be here waiting. Cos I'm getting to quite like Bruges now. It's like a fucking fairy-tale of something.
YURI: Take your pick, Mr Waters.
HARRY: An Uzi? I'm not from South Central fucking Los Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten-year-olds in a drive by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.
YURI: Oh, I also have some Dum-Dums. You use this word, 'Dum-Dums'? The bullets that make the head explode.
HARRy: Dum-Dums, yes.
YURI? Would you like some of these Dum-Dums?
HARRY: I shouldn't, but I will.
EIRIK: I was trying to rob him and he took my gun from me, and the was full of blanks, and he shot a blank into my eye, and now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say.
HARRY: Well, do be honest, it sounds like it was all your fault.
HARRY: Basically, if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks, and you allow your gun to be taken off you, and you allow youself to be shot in the eye with a blank, which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, then, yeah, really it's all your fault for being such a poof.
HARRY: Let me get this right... (You were down the park? What's that got to do with fucking anything?) Let me get this right. Not only have you refused to killed the boy, you've even stopped the boy from killing himself. Which would've solved my problem, which would've solved your problem, and which, it sounds like, would've solved the boy's problem.
KEN: Harry, let's face it, and I'm not being funny. You're a cunt. You're a cunt now, you've always been a cunt, and the only thing that's gonna change is you're going to become an even bigger cunt. And maybe have some more cunt kids.
HARRY: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done?! You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids...!
KEN: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
HARRY: Insulting my fucking kids! That's goind overboard, mate!
KEN: I've retracted it, haven't I? That still leaves you being a cunt...
HARRY: I fucking got that!
HARRY: What are you doing? What are you fucking doing?!
KEN: I ain't fighting any more, Harry.
HARRY: Alright. That I'm blowing your fucking head off... Don't come over all Gandhi! What are you doing?! Ken, stop messing about please. Pick up your gun.
KEN: Harry. I am totally in your debt. The things that's gone betwen us in the past, I love you unreservedly for all that. For your integrity, for your honour. I love you. The boy had to be let go. The boy had to be given a chance. And if to do that I had to say fuck you and fuck what I owe you and fuck everything that's gone on between us then that's what I had to do. But I ain't fighting you. And I accept totally everything you've got to do. I accept it totally.
HARRY: Oh yeah?
HARRY: Well you say all that fucking stuff, I can't fucking shoot you now, can I?
HARRY: Lady, get out of my way, please.
MARIE: No. I won't. I won't get out of your way. You'll have to go through me.
HARRY: Well obviously I'm not gonna go through you, am I, with your baby and that. I'm a nice person. But could you just get out of the fucking way, please?
HARRY: Have you got a gun up there?
HARRY: Well what are we gonna do? We can't stand here all night.
MARIE: Why don't you both put your guns down and go home?
HARRY: Don't be stupid. This is the shoot-out.
CHLOE: Ray! tell me why you have to hang up!
RAY: Why do I have to hang up?
CHLOE: Yes! Why do you have to hand up?!
RAY: Because I don't want you to hear the gunshot.