Quotes [new quotes]
Kill Bill - Vol. 1
(Ripped from draft - quotes vary from the actual movie.)
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Old Klingon Proverb
BILL'S VOICE: I bet I could fry an egg on your head about now, if I wanted to.
THE BRIDE: Looked dead, didn't I? Well I wasn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying, I can tell you that. Actually Bill's last bullet put me in a coma. A coma I was to lie in for five years. When I woke up, ...I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Revenge. I roarded and I rampaged and I got bloody satisfaction. In all, I've killed 33 people to get to this point right now. I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination..... I'm gonna Kill Bill.
THE HOUSEWIFE: This is a old friend of mommy's I ain't seen in a long time.
THE BRIDE: Hello sweety, I'm *(BLEEP)*, what's your name?
* Whenever during the picture somebody says The Bride's real name, it will be BLEEPED OUT ON THE SOUNDTRACK, ...that is, till I want you to know. *
THE HOUSEWIFE: Want some coffee?
THE BRIDE: Yeah, sure.
THE BRIDE: This Pasadena homemaker's name is Jeanne Bell. Her husband is Dr. Lawrence Bell. But back when we were acquainted, five years ago, her name was VERNITA GREEN. Her code name, was "COPPERHEAD"... Mine was BLACK MAMBA.
THE BRIDE: Were you expecting me?
VERNITA: Yes and no. Bill got in touch with me right after you woke up, and then again a little later after your episode in Japan. So I suppose it's a little late for a apology, huh?
THE BRIDE: You suppose correctly.
VERNITA: Even if I was sincere?
THE BRIDE: Oh. I'm quite positive you're sorry, now.
VERNITA: Look bitch, I need to know if you're gonna start anymore shit around my baby girl!
THE BRIDE: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your daughter.
VERNITA: That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.
THE BRIDE: Well that's a demonstration of Bill's complete ignorance when it comes to the subject of me, and what I'm thinking, and what I might do. It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack, not rationality.
THE BRIDE: I'll wait for now, but I won't wait for long. I'll allow you to choose a time and place for us to meet again, preferably as far away from Nikki as possible. I could have just HIT you, I didn't, I demand respect for that. Since this is not a HIT, consider it a DUEL. And as two former Deadly Vipers, we will observe Viper rules of honor. One on one - no help - no bushwhackin - no treacherous weapons - no weapon of choice - our skill and our bodies.
THE BRIDE: - I'm not through telling you. Failure to keep our date, or duplicity of any kind, will result in me putting a xoxo hollow point bullet into the back of your skull from a window of a building across the street from Nikki's elementary school. Now, feel free to respond.
VERNITA: Look...I know I fucked you over. I fucked you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't, but I did. If I could go back in a machine I would, but I can't. All I can tell you is I'm a different person now.
THE BRIDE: I don't care.
VERNITA: Be that as it may, I know I do not deserve mercy or forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.
THE BRIDE: -- Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter, does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn fuckin thing you've done in the subsequent five years - including getting knocked up - is going to change that.
VERNITA: You have every right to wanna get even --
THE BRIDE: -- But that's where you're wrong, Vernita. I don't want to get even. To get even, even Steven. I would have to kill you, go into Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your old man, Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would make us even. No, my unborn daughter will just hafta be satisfied with your death at her mother's hands.
VERNITA: When do we do this?
THE BRIDE: It all depends... When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? That's about as long as I'll wait.
VERNITA: How bout tonight, bitch?
THE BRIDE: Splendid. Where?
VERNITA: There's a baseball diamond where our little league has its games, about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning, dressed all in black, your hair in a black stocking, and we have us a knife fight, we won't be bothered. I have to fix Nikki's cereal.
VERNITA: Sorry, bout the bushwhack. Please don't...
THE BRIDE: Do to your daughter, what you did to mine... I won't.
THE BRIDE: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.
ELLE: I might never have liked you. Point in fact I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you. You were a master of a profession that's most difficult to master. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.
ELLE: Ya know now I get a better look at you, you're not so damn pretty. Yeah, you go that Venus thing going for you but...ya know, now I get a closer look at you you're kinda weird looking. You got this big nose that doesn't fit with the rest of your face, your eyes are two different sizes. And look at your skin...My complexion is way better than yours --
THE ORDERLY: Now is that the cutest little blonde pussy you ever saw, or is that the cutest little blonde pussy, YOU-EVER-SAW?
WARREN: I seen better.
THE ORDERLY: Yeah, in a movie - maybe. But I know damn well this is the best pussy you ever saw you had touchin rights to. The price is seventy five dollars a fuck gentlemen, you gittin your freak on or what? Here's the rules; Rule number one; no punchin 'er. Nurse comes in tomorrow an she got 'er a shiner - or less some teeth, jig's up. So no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter - it's a motor reflex thing but spit or no, no punchin. Now are we absolutely positively clear about rule number one?
TWO TRUCKERS: Yeah.
THE ORDERLY: Rule number two; No monkey bites, no hickeys - in fact no leavin no marks of no kind. But after that, it's allll goooood. Her plummin down there don't work no more, so feel free to cum in 'er all ya wont. Keep the noise down - try not to make a mess, and I'll be back in twenty.
BUCK: Well, ain't you the slice of cutie pie they all said you wuz. Well Ma'am, I'm from Longview Texas, my name's Buck, and I'm here to fuck.
THE BRIDE: Your name's Buck, right? And you came to fuck, right?
THE BRIDE: Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe.
THE BRIDE (V.O.): As I lay in the back of Buck's pickup truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts who did this to me, and the dick responsible. Members all of Bill's brainchild; "The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad."
JOHNNY: It's just a day's job, we don't have to make it a life's work. We work for Tammany today and kill them tomorrow, if that's our pleasure.
JIMMY SPOILS: So we're politicians just for today.
AMSTERDAM: Not for a minute. We're better than that. We're thieves.
THE BRIDE (V.O.): Now after five years of beauty sleep I knew absolutely nothing about my enemies' strengths weakness or whereabouts. But as fated by God vengeance would have it, I who knew nothing - knew one thing. As sure as God made little green apples... if O-Ren Ishii, the first name on my Death List, was still alive... she'd live in Japan. O-Ren Ishii, made her first acquaintance with death at the age of eleven.
THE BRIDE (V.O.): It was at that age, a half-Chinese, half-Japanese American Army brat witnessed the murder of her Master Sergeant father. And the rape, then murder of her mother at the hands of Japan's most ruthless Yakuza boss, Boss Matsumoto. She swore revenge...luckily for her, Boss Matsumoto was a pedophile.
At thirteen, she got her revenge.
By twenty, she was one of the tip top of female assassins in the world.
At twenty-three she joined Bill's Deadly Vipers...
At twenty five she did her part in the killing of nine innocent people, including my unborn daughter, in a small wedding chapel in El Paso Texas. But on that day, five years ago, she made one big mistake...
...she should have killed ten. However, before statisfaction would be mine, first things first...
THE BRIDE: Wiggel your big toe.
SUSHI CHEF: What brings you to Okinawa?
THE BRIDE: I came to see a man.
SUSHI CHEF: Aaahh, you have friend live in Okinawa?
THE BRIDE: Not quite.
SUSHI CHEF: Not friend?
THE BRIDE: I've never met him.
SUSHI CHEF: Who is he, may I ask?
THE BRIDE: Hattori Hanzo.
SUSHI CHEF: What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?
THE BRIDE: I need Japanese steel.
SUSHI CHEF: Why do you need Japanese steel?
THE BRIDE: I have vermin to kill.
SUSHI CHEF: You must have big rats you need Hattori Hanzo steel.
THE BRIDE: Huge.
HANZO: Funny, you like samurai swords... I like baseball.
HANZO: I wanted to show you these... However someone as you, who knows so much must surely know, I no longer make instruments of death. I keep these here for their aesthetic and sentimental value. Yet proud tho I am of my life's work... I am retired.
THE BRIDE: Then give me one of these.
HANZO: These are not for sale.
THE BRIDE: I didn't say, sell me. I said, give me.
HANZO: And why should I be obliged to assist you in the extermination of your vermin?
THE BRIDE: Because my vermin, is a former student of yours. And considering the student, I'd say you had a rather large obligation.
HANZO: ...You can sleep there... it will take me a month to make the sword... I suggest you spend it practicing.
HANZO: I'm done doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose I was a success. I've done this, because philosophically I'm sympathetic to your aim.
I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.
HANZO: Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest. And like a forest it's easy to lose your way...to get lost... to forget where you came in. To serve as a compass, a combat philosophy must be adopted that can be found in the secret doctrine of the Yagu Ninja. And now my yellow haired warrior, repeat after me;
When engaged in combat, the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern...
...This is the first and cardinal rule of combat...
...Suppress all human emotion and compassion...
...Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself...
This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat. Once it is mastered... Thou shall fear no one... Though the devil himself may bar thy way...
THE BRIDE: When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, at the time it seems proof like no other, that not only does God exist, you're doing his will. At a time when I knew the last about my enemies, the first name on my death list, was the easiest to find. But of course, when one manages the difficult task of becoming queen of the Tokyo underworld, one doesn't keep it a secret, does one?
THE BRIDE: At the age of twenty, Bill backed his Nippon progeny financially and philosophically in her Shakespearian-in-magnitude power struggle with the other Yakuza clans, over who would rule vice in the city of Tokyo.
THE BRIDE: When it was all over, it was the geisha-regaled O-Ren Ishii that proved the victor.
And just in case you're wondering how could a half breed Japanese Chinese American become the boss of all criminal activity in Tokyo, Japan,... I'll tell you. The subject of O-Ren's blood and nationality came up before the council only once. The night O-Ren assumed power over the crime council.
O-REN: I'm going to say this in English so you know how serious I am. As your leader, I encourage you to -- from time to time and always in a respectful manner, and with the complete knowledge that my decision is final -- to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so. But allow me to convince you. And I will promise you, right here and now, no subject will be taboo...except the subject that was just under discussion.
The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or my American heritage as a negative is, I collect your fuckin head. Just like this fucker here. Now if any of you sonsabitches got anything else to say, now's the fuckin time.
I didn't think so. Meeting adjourned.
THE BRIDE (V.O.): The mop tops in black suits and Kato masks were O-Ren's soldiers, "The Crazy 88." The two young girls in the schoolgirl uniforms are her personal bodyguards, the Yubari sisters. Yuki, aged sixteen, and Go Go, aged seventeen. The pretty lady who's dressed like she's a villain on Star Trek is O-Ren's best friend and her lawyer, Sofie Fatale. And finally, the American in the black suit but sans Kato mask, O-Ren's head of security, Mr. Barrel.
THE BRIDE: O-Ren Ishii! You and I have unfinished business!
O-REN: You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?
THE BRIDE: You know, for a second there, yeah I did.
O-REN: Silly rabbit...
THE BRIDE: Those of you lucky enough to still have your lives. Take them with you. But leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.
O-REN: Your instrument is quite impressive.
THE BRIDE: Domo.
O-REN: Where was it made?
THE BRIDE: Okinawa.
O-REN: Whom in Okinawa made you this steel?
THE BRIDE: This is Hattori Hanzo steel.
O-REN: Swords however never get tired. I hope you've saved your energy. If you haven't, you might not last five minutes.
O-REN: Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords. Bill might have humored you, but you will find neither humor nor mercy at my blade. Now unless you intend to commit sepeku among the koi, stand up and fight. You may not be able to fight like a samurai, but you can at least die like a samurai.
THE BRIDE: Attack me. With everything you have.
O-REN: I apologize for ridiculing you earlier.
THE BRIDE: Accepted. Ready?
O-REN: That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword... I always dreamed of owning one... Did he make it for you?
THE BRIDE: Yes.
O-REN: ...He must have liked you.
THE BRIDE: I've kept you alive for one reason. Information. Being O-Ren's lawyer, I take it you're familiar with Bill?
THE BRIDE: In fact, I'd guesstimate, you worked for Bill before O-Ren, and that's how it is you came to work for O-Ren. Am I correct?
THE BRIDE: I thought so. Give me the arm you have left.
THE BRIDE: I want information. Now gimme your arm. The cocktail racing through your bloodstream at this moment is Bill's own recipe. He calls it "The Undisputed Truth."
BUSINESS SUIT: Do you like Ferraris?
YUKI: Ferrari...Italian trash. Do you find me hot? Don't laugh! Do you want to fuck me, yes or no?
BUSINESS SUIT: Yes.
YUKI: How bout now, big boy, do you still wish to penetrate me... Or is it I who has penetrated you.
SOFIE: When she stops shedding tears, she'll start shedding blood.
THE BRIDE: Best guess, what will she do?
SOFIE: I don't hafta guess, she'll come after you.
THE BRIDE: Will she ever give up?
SOFIE: She won't have to. When she finds you, I don't know who will win. But what I do know is, she will find you.
THE BRIDE: Is she more skilled than I?
SOFIE: Skilled won't be the word.
THE BRIDE: Don't be coy with me, bitch. What would be the word?
THE BRIDE: I'm allowing you to keep your wicked life for one reason and one reason only. So you can tell him, in person, everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy..., by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him, all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know, they'll all soon be as dead as O-REN.
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