Wordperfect Helpline

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired, however, he/she is currently sueing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee SERVICE: "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." SERVICE: "What sort of trouble?" CUSTOMER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." SERVICE: "Went away?" CUSTOMER: "They disappeared." SERVICE: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" CUSTOMER: "Nothing." SERVICE: "Nothing?" CUSTOMER: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." SERVICE: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" CUSTOMER: "How do I tell?" SERVICE: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" CUSTOMER: "What's a sea prompt?" SERVICE: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" CUSTOMER: "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type." SERVICE: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" CUSTOMER: "What's a monitor?" SERVICE: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a T.V. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?" CUSTOMER: "I don't know." SERVICE: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, I think so." SERVICE: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." CUSTOMER: "Yes, it is." SERVICE: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" CUSTOMER: "No." SERVICE: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." CUSTOMER: "Okay, here it is." SERVICE: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." CUSTOMER: "I can't reach." SERVICE: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" CUSTOMER: "No." SERVICE: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" CUSTOMER: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." SERVICE: "Dark?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." SERVICE: "Well, turn on the office light then." CUSTOMER: "I can't." SERVICE: "No? Why not?" CUSTOMER: "Because there's a power failure." SERVICE: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" CUSTOMER: "Well, yes. I keep them in the closet." SERVICE: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." CUSTOMER: "Really? Is it that bad?" SERVICE: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." CUSTOMER: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" SERVICE: "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."