MILTON: ... Guilt is like a bag of fucking bricks. All you gotta is set it down... Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it? God? Well I tell you. Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do? I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel he sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch but don't taste. Taste but don't swallow. And while you're jumping on one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick fucking ass off. He's a tightass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee-landlord! Worship that? Never!

LOMAX: Better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven. Is that it?

MILTON: Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted, and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him inspite of all his imperfections...I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. Who, in their right mind, Kevin, could possibly deny the 20th century was entirely mine? All of it, Kevin. All of it. Mine. I'm peaking, Kevin. It's my time now.

LOMAX: You want a child?

MILTON: I want a family.

LOMAX: The Antichrist.

MILTON: Whatever.

LOMAX: But I have to volunteer.

MILTON: Free will - it is a bitch. Kevin, I need a family. I need help. I'm busy. Millennium's coming. Title-fight. Round 20!

LOMAX: What are you offering?

MILTON: Negotiating?

LOMAX: Always.

MILTON: Freedom... is never having to say you're sorry.

LOMAX: Why the law? Cut the shit, Dad. Why lawyers? Why the law?

MILTON: Because the law, my boy, puts us into everything. It's the ultimate backstage pass, it's the new priesthood, baby.

LOMAX: What about love?

MILTON: Overrate. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.