|
Home
Quotes Movies Books Lyrics Articles Misc. Contributions myGT gtForum gtWord Submit Quote |
Simply Delightful - QuotesIt is always disappointing to find redeeming qualities in people that you know to be pieces of shit. We're not great friends, but I admire him. If he thinks he's the best player of the century, that's his problem. on Maradona Razors pain you Rivers are damp Acids stain you And drugs cause cramp Drugs aren't lawful Nooses give Gas smells awful You might as well live. I've figured out the boy's punishment: No leaving the house for one week, not even for school. And no egg nog on christmas. In fact, no "nog" period, and lastly, no stealing for three months. The Simpsons There's nothing wrong with masturbation. It's simply sex with someone you love. Dancing is like masturbation. Fun by yourself, but better when someone does it for you. I am a man of simple pleasures. The best suits me perfectly. What idiot was in charge of PR for the Nazi Party? Their ideological views aside, you're just asking to be the bad guys in a war when your main colors are black and gray, you tuck your pants into your leather boots and you have a skull and crossbones as an emblem. Daily Radar Feature: The 10 Most Grievous Fashion Atrocities of All Time Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run like hell. He hates that! I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. The only way to lose wight in the thighs is amputation. If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you. Married With Children If a man says something and theres no women around to hear it, is he still wrong? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station... Times of India BUFFY: "Faith, these are innocent people." FAITH: "No such animal." Buffy the Vampire Slayer If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in the dreams of suicide. If cool my heart, and high my head... I think, 'How lucky are the dead?' Mortal Thoughts I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Why drink and drive if I can smoke and fly? Love is a game nature plays to get us to reproduce. I want no part of it. Xena: Warrior Princess DAPHNE: Now come now Dr. Crane, hasn't a man ever used sex to get what he wants? FRASIER: How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want! Frasier Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. I'll have you know I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. The Dilbert Principle I feel sorry for people that don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Life is like a freaking basketball game. Only a few are ever good at it, and they get millions of dollars to play it. The rest of us are stuck shooting 10% on good days, hoping each time for that perfect shot. As if it wasn't enough, you have those god-damned competitions where you shoot from quarter court to win some big prize, don't let that fool you, life isn't giving you chance, its making you realise that you suck at basketball. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man... living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. A woman who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is obviously setting her sights a little higher. A million monkeys typing on a million typewritters might produce all the old classics, but more than likely, you'll just get a whole lot of monkey shit. The art of being a woman is knowing when to not be a lady. In the beginning the Universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and was generally considered a bad move. The Resturant at the End of the Universe The grass is always greener on the other side -- but that's because they use more bullshit. Shapiro's Explanation If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live. Seinfeld VENDOR: We have Mountain Dew and crab juice. HOMER: Ewwww! I'll take the crab juice. The SimpsonsIf you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then, yes, Mr. Brave Man, I guess I'm a coward. Look on the bright side: If the glass is half empty, then I must be half full. Sure the lion is the undisputed king of the jungle, but throw him in Antarctica, and he is just another penguin's bitch. There are three stages of a man's life: When he believes in Santa Claus, when he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, and when he is Santa Claus. Anyone who can contemplate quantum physics without getting dizzy hasn't understood it. Make people think they're thinking, and they'll love you; make them really think and they'll hate you. When person speak with forked tongue it is good to answer with forked fingers. The mass media will tell you they can't influence human behavior, but that's not what they tell their advertisers. Why are wrong numbers never busy? It is a brave man who is the first to sit down during a standing ovation. Trying is the first step towards failure. The Simpsons When someone says: "It's not money, it is principle", - it is the money. Set me anything to do as a task, and it is inconceivable desire I have to do something else. If I have not seen so far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. Water? I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it. |
|
|
| www.generationterrorists.com |