Everybody Hates Hugo (204)

Season 1
Pilot (1)
Pilot (2)
Tabula Rasa
White Rabbit
House Of The Rising Sun
The Moth
Confidence Man
Raised By Another
All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues
Whatever The Case May
Hearts And Minds
... In Translation
Deux Ex Machina
Do No Arms
The Greater Good
Born To Run
Exodus (1)
Exodus (2)
Exodus (3)

Season 2
Man of Science, Man of Faith
Everybody Hates Hugo
... And Found
The Other 48 Days
What Kate Did
The 23rd Psalm
The Hunting Party
Fire & Water
The Long Con
One of Them
Maternity Leave
The Whole Truth
Two for the Road
Three Minutes
Live Together, Die Alone

Season 3
A Tale of Two Cities
The Glass Ballerina
Further Instructions
Every Man for Himself
The Cost of Living
I Do
Not in Portland
Flashes Before Your Eyes
Stranger in a Strange Land
Tricia Tanaka is Dead
Enter 77
Par Avion
The Man from Tallahassee

HURLEY: It must be something I ate.

CARMEN: Yes, it must be something you ate because you eat basura, and you don't exercise.

HURLEY: I do exercise.

CARMEN: Falling down is not exercise. The only time you move is to lift a drumstick from the bucket. Everyday it's the same thing, Hugo -- you work, you eat chicken. You have to change your life, Hugo. You think someone else will change it for you? Maybe if you pray everyday Jesus Christ will come down from heaven, take 200 pounds and bring you a decent woman, and a new car. Yes, Jesus can bring you a new car.

HURLEY: Maybe I don't want to change. Maybe I like my life.

CHARLIE: You've been out there an entire day and night -- looking at nothing?

HURLEY: Well, I guess it's kind of like a bunker, you know, from WWII, only newer.

CHARLIE: What's in it?

HURLEY: I don't know.

CHARLIE: But somehow you know it's a bunker?

HURLEY: Well, I guess someone told me.

CHARLIE: You're going to lie to me? You're going to lie to the baby?

HURLEY: Dude, look, I'd never lie.

CHARLIE: Oh, and the time you told you were worth 150 million dollars?

HURLEY: It's 156 million.

CHARLIE: I'm sorry, I must have confused it with the 900 trillion I am worth myself.

JACK: Hurley? Who else did you tell?

HURLEY: No one. I swear. Dude, it's a big job. I needed help.

ROSE: Hello, Jack.

JACK: Hey, Rose.

HURLEY: She's cool. She won't tell anyone.

ROSE: Honey, I don't even know what I would say.

HURLEY: Apollo bars? Ever hear of these?

ROSE: Huh-uh, but candy is candy -- that's what Bernard always says. Talk about a sweet-tooth. That man has a mouth full of sweet-teeth.

HURLEY: Bernard, that was your husband?

ROSE: Is my husband.

HURLEY: Oh, but, I thought he was in the back of the plane. I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

ROSE: Oh, no, no -- that's okay. Don't feel bad. Bernard is fine. I know it.

KATE: Hey, you guys happen to find any shampoo in here?

ROSE: Yeah, there's some right over here.

HURLEY: Uh, Kate, you can't take...

KATE: Thanks, Hurley.

ROSE: It's just one bottle.

HURLEY: That's where it starts.

RANDY: This is last night's surveillance tape. You owe the company for an 8 piece dark meat combo.

HURLEY: I didn't eat 8 pieces!

RANDY: You want to watch the whole tape? Oh, and while you're here, how many times do I have to tell you those napkins cost money, alright? It's two per customer -- two. We not made of money here at Mr. Clucks, Reyes. I'm not made of money. Are you made of money? Because if you're made of money -- maybe you don't want to work here. So get it together. What -- is that a problem, Reyes?

HURLEY: Dude, I quit.

JOHNNY: Dude, are you okay?

HURLEY: I'm, I'm fine.

JOHNNY: Randy's losing his brain in there.

HURLEY: You should get back in there or he'll have you scrubbing johns the rest of the week.

JOHNNY: Doubt it. I quit, too.


JOHNNY: Looks like we've got ourselves a day off. Who needs money when you've got good looks?

LEADER: Grab the rope.

SAWYER: I ain't doing nothing 'til I know if my friends are okay.

MICHAEL: So, we're friends now, huh?

ANA-LUCIA: Do it now, or the rope comes up.

SAWYER: Howdy boys. Thanks for the rescue.

MICHAEL: Everything's cool. We had a talk and they believe we were on the plane, too.

SAWYER: Swell, I guess we can all sue Oceanic together.

ANA-LUCIA: What you got there?

SAWYER: Nothing.

ANA-LUCIA: You got a rock? You looking for some revenge? You've got 3 seconds to drop it.

LEADER: Ana...

ANA-LUCIA: 1, 2...

SAWYER: Now, hold on... Ow, you didn't say 3.

ANA-LUCIA: Shut up. When I tell you to do something, you do it -- I say move, you move -- I say stop, you stop. I say jump, what do you say?

SAWYER: I say: you first.

JACK: So what do you think, Sayid?

SAYID: What do I think about what, Jack?

JACK: This place -- the computer? What do you think is going on?

SAYID: The last time I heard of concrete being poured over everything in this way was Chernobyl.

LEADER: Are you alright?

SAWYER: Now you give a damn.

LEADER: I said I'm sorry. It was a misunderstanding.

SAWYER: A misunderstanding's when you bring me lemonade instead of iced-tea.

HURLEY: Let me tell you something, Rose. We were all fine before we had any potato chips. But now we've got these potato chips and everybody's going to want them. So Steve gets them, and Charlie's pissed -- but he's not pissed at Steve, he's pissed at me. And I'm going to be in the middle of it. And then it's going to be: well, what about us -- why didn't I get any potato chips? C'mon, help us out, Hurley. Why did you give Kate the shampoo? And why didn't I get the peanut butter? Then, they'll get really mad and start asking: why does Hugo have everything -- why should he get to decide? Then they'll all hate me. I don't know what to do.