The Long Con (213)

Season 1
Pilot (1)
Pilot (2)
Tabula Rasa
White Rabbit
House Of The Rising Sun
The Moth
Confidence Man
Raised By Another
All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues
Whatever The Case May
Hearts And Minds
... In Translation
Deux Ex Machina
Do No Arms
The Greater Good
Born To Run
Exodus (1)
Exodus (2)
Exodus (3)

Season 2
Man of Science, Man of Faith
Everybody Hates Hugo
... And Found
The Other 48 Days
What Kate Did
The 23rd Psalm
The Hunting Party
Fire & Water
The Long Con
One of Them
Maternity Leave
The Whole Truth
Two for the Road
Three Minutes
Live Together, Die Alone

Season 3
A Tale of Two Cities
The Glass Ballerina
Further Instructions
Every Man for Himself
The Cost of Living
I Do
Not in Portland
Flashes Before Your Eyes
Stranger in a Strange Land
Tricia Tanaka is Dead
Enter 77
Par Avion
The Man from Tallahassee

JACK: John, the combination.

LOCKE: I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're asking me because you're worried that I might fall off a cliff or something -- that it would be irresponsible for just one of us to have access to this room -- rather than this being an issue of trust.

JACK: Well, there are a lot of cliffs on this island, John.

LOCKE: Alright, but I think we should agree, Jack, that if either of us need to open this door, we consult each other first.

JACK: Absolutely.

SAWYER: Well, well, now look who had to relocate to the suburbs. Ain't that just like a woman? She keeps the house and you get the cheap-ass apartment. Man, I thought these people hated me, but I've got to hand it to you -- stealing a baby, trying to drown it -- now, that's a new low. You even made Locke take a swing at you. Hell, that's like getting Gandhi to beat his kids.

CHARLIE: Shouldn't you be more worried about Jack ransacking your tent right now?

KATE: They usually don't leave any trail.

SAWYER: It's worth a look. Let me ask you something -- this whole scenario make sense to you?

KATE: What do you mean?

SAWYER: Think about it. First off, how'd she get away? The woman doesn't weigh 100 pounds soaking wet.

KATE: She was fighting for her life. People are capable of almost anything...

SAWYER: You couldn't get away. You versus Sun -- hot oil death match -- my money's on you, Sheena.

KATE: Thanks for your vote of confidence.

KATE: It's a hood, just like the one they put over my head.

SAWYER: No it's not. This one's black, different weave. It's all in the details -- and they're wrong.

KATE: Well, if it wasn't them, then who? What are you saying, one of us did it? Who the hell would want to go after Sun?

SAWYER: Not much upside to scaring the crap out of 46 people -- unless you're trying to con them into joining an army.

KATE: Jack, how well do you know Ana-Lucia? It's just -- the Others, I -- I was out there with you. I heard that man say that if we stayed away they'd leave us alone. And we've left them alone. So why would they attack us a few days later?

JACK: Well, if it wasn't them then who was it?

KATE: Like I said, how well do you know Ana-Lucia?

CASSIDY: I want to do a big one.

SAWYER: You want to do a big what?

CASSIDY: A big con.

SAWYER: It's called a long con.

CASSIDY: Okay, a long con. How does it work?

SAWYER: It works by getting someone to ask you to do something like it's their idea, but it's not their idea, it's your idea.

SAWYER: Hate to interrupt whatever the hell it is you're doing. What are you doing?

LOCKE: I'm alphabetizing.

SAWYER: Oh, sure. Sun gets attacked in the jungle and you figure it's a good time to start the damn Dewey decimal system. Good thinking.

LOCKE: How can I help you, James?

SAWYER: Well, actually, John, I'm here to help you -- give you the heads-up.

LOCKE: Heads-up?

SAWYER: Seems Jack's on his way over here to open your little gun closet and take whatever he needs. You should know he's not alone. The whole camp's pretty shook up about what happened to Tokyo Rose. I'm guessing everybody's going to want to play Cowboys and Indians. And once those guns are out and about -- something tells me they ain't never going back in.

LOCKE: Why are you telling me this?

SAWYER: Because it'll piss off Jack. If I were you, I'd change that combination, pronto.

LOCKE: But that won't work. The door will just slow him down. If Jack wants to get in, he'll get in. Will you help me?

SAWYER: Help you what?

LOCKE: Move the guns.

SAWYER: Move them where? Fine, you don't want to trust me -- lots of luck.

LOCKE: But I can't leave the hatch unmanned.

SAWYER: Sure, you move the guns and I'll stay here and push your damn button for you.

LOCKE: How long 'til they get here?

SAWYER: Well, that ain't my problem, Hoss; it's yours.

JACK: John, where are they? You moved the guns. Where are they? We had an agreement.

LOCKE: An agreement that you were about to violate, Jack. Yes, I moved the guns.

JACK: Where? Where? Where, John?

LOCKE: Are you going to start handing them out? How many? Who gets them? How much time before there's an accident? Another accident. I made a mistake teaching Michael how to shoot and now he's -- he could be dead for all I know -- and that, that was my fault. I take responsibility for that and so, yes, I'm taking responsibility for the guns, too.

JACK: I want 2 guns, John.

LOCKE: I'm sorry, Jack. That's the way it's going to be, Jack.

JACK: 2 guns. Now tell me where they are, right now!

JACK: You gave him the guns?

LOCKE: No. I hid them.

SAWYER: That's right, Jack. He's as stupid as you are. You were so busy worrying about each other you never even saw me coming, did you? How about you listen up because I'm only going to say this once. You took my stuff. While I was off trying to get us help -- get us rescued -- you found my stash and you took it, divvied it up -- my shaving cream, my batteries, even my beer. And then something else happened, you decided these two boys here were going to tell you what to do and when to do it. Well, I'm done taking orders. And I don't want my stuff back. Shaving cream don't matter; batteries don't matter. The only that matters now are guns. And if you want one you're going to have to come to me to get it. Oh, you want to torture me, don't you? Show everybody how civilized you are. Go ahead, but I'll die before I give them back. And then you'll really be screwed, won't you? New sheriff in town, boys! You all best get used to it.

KATE: How'd you do it?

SAWYER: How'd I do what?

KATE: Locke said that he left you in the hatch when he went to hide the guns, and we both know you can't track worth a damn. So, how'd you get them?

SAWYER: A magician never tells his secrets.

KATE: You played us. You played me. All that stuff you said about Ana-Lucia -- you knew I'd go to Jack; and you knew I'd ask you to go to Locke.

SAWYER: Now, how in the world would I know all that?

KATE: Did you have anything to do with Sun?

SAWYER: What kind of person do you think I am?

KATE: What kind of a person do I think you are? I don't think this has anything to do with guns, or with getting your stash back. I think you want people to hate you.

SAWYER: Good thing you don't hate me, Freckles.

KATE: Why do you have to do this?

SAWYER: You run. I con. Tiger don't change their stripes.

SAWYER: He never saw you, huh?

CHARLIE: No, he was more worried about his sodding guns than being followed.

SAWYER: Figured you'd want your friends back.

CHARLIE: If I wanted them I would have taken them before I told you where they were. That's not why I did it.

SAWYER: It's not, huh?

CHARLIE: I wanted him to look like a fool -- to feel like a fool.

SAWYER: Well, well, it looks like Johnny Locke's got himself a nemesis.

CHARLIE: Sun can never find out what I did to her. Never.

SAWYER: Don't sweat it. I've got bigger things to worry about now.

CHARLIE: Sawyer, this idea -- all of this -- what we did -- what made you -- How does someone think of something like that?

SAWYER: I'm not a good person, Charlie. Never did a good thing in my life.