Rain King (6x07)
written by Jeffrey Bell
MAYOR: It's all around us-- runted crops, field fires, bankruptcies... This drought is destroying people's lives, and it's wrong for a single man to prosper at the expense of others.
SCULLY: A single man?
MAYOR: Daryl Mootz. He's a local fella charging people for rain.
SCULLY: You mean cloud seeding?
MAYOR: The hell I do. I mean he shows up at a farm, does his dog and pony act and the heavens weep.
SCULLY: Well, sir, if this man Mootz could, in fact, somehow produce rain then what's the crime?
MAYOR: I believe Daryl's causing the drought... so he can charge folks for the rain.
SCULLY: And this is what you told Agent Mulder when you spoke earlier?
MAYOR: Yes, ma'am. He seemed real eager to help us.
MULDER: Well, if that's true-- if Daryl Mootz is controlling the weather for profit-- then that is a crime and that should be investigated.
SCULLY: Mulder, I see the vacant buildings. I see the signs. These people are scared. But there have always been droughts and natural disasters and people are always looking for a scapegoat.
MULDER: Yeah, but how many scapegoats lease office space?
CINDY: I don't understand. Does he... Don't y'all need a warrant or a subpoena or something like that?
SCULLY: We usually just say, "please."
HOLMAN: The Mayor called you in, didn't he? He thinks Daryl's causing the drought.
SCULLY: You don't think he's responsible.
HOLMAN: Of course not. A huge high-pressure system is the primaryculprit. There's no credible evidence to suggest that Daryl, or any man can be held accountable for our predicament.
SCULLY: Thank you. Can we go now?
MULDER: No, no, um... What about the rain?
HOLMAN: Well, that's a more clouded issue if you'll excuse my pun.
MULDER: I have a list of over 40 names here -- people in four different counties -- who claim that Daryl Mootz has made it rain for them.
HOLMAN: I went to high school with Daryl. Different social circles and... frankly, he's about the last man I would give credit to for anything...
SCULLY: I hear a big "but" coming.
HOLMAN: Daryl appears to be the real deal. I can't explain it, but... where he wanders, showers follow.
MULDER: How do you explain your unique ability?
DARYL: I don't. It's complicated.
MULDER: Try me. I watch the Weather Channel.
DARYL: If you're wondering did I ask for this gift no, sir, I did not, no more than I asked to lose this here limb. But I should've expected it and I'll tell you why. Because I come from a long line of healing people. I'm a spiritual man, in touch... with the really real. The, the unseen real.
DARYL: And I... am one 64th Cherokee and I can summon up my ancestors to bring water to this thirsty land. Yeah!
SCULLY: Mulder, what are we doing here?
MULDER: Well, this is not without historical precedent. The Old West was full of traveling men who claimed to be rainmakers. The Pueblo Indians even had a rain dance.
MULDER: Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me just as we're down here investigating the weather.
SCULLY: Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?
MULDER: I'm telling you, that cow had my name on it.
SHEILA: This isn't the first time something like this has happened. The night of my senior prom a tornado demolished our high school...
And then... On my wedding day, a day I'd always dreamed about, the ceremony was outdoors on the Fourth of July weekend. It snowed six inches.
Then three years later my husband ran off with some gal from the phone company and on the day that our divorce was finalized I stepped out of the courthouse and... you know how you-you-you can see shapes in those big fluffy clouds/ Well... I swear that every cloud in that big blue sky was a face laughing at me...
SHEILA: Am I under arrest?
MULDER: No. I can tell you without a doubt that you're not responsible for any of that weather.
SHEILA: Oh... But...
MULDER: Agent Scully and I specialize in these types of cases and-and-and although you may have had some bad luck you didn't cause any of it.
SHEILA: Are you sure?
MULDER: Yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm sure. Scully, you have any doubts?
MULDER: You see?
SCULLY: No doubts.
MULDER: Holman Hardt is manufacturing the weather. Did you see how relieved he was when he learned that Daryl was drunk? I've been doing some checking. Holman Hardt has been hospitalized five times with nervous exhaustion, each time coinciding with a major meteorological event.
SCULLY: Mulder, it is still a huge leap to say that he's manufacturing the weather.
MULDER: Most people will admit that the weather plays a significant role in the way they feel, right? There's even that disorder.
SCULLY: "SAD" - seasonal affective disorder.
MULDER: Mm-hmm, yeah. Well, who's to say that it doesn't work the other way around-- that the way someone feels can affect the weather... that the weather is somehow an expression of Holman Hardt's feelings or- or- or better still, the feelings that he's not expressing?
HOLMAN: You sound in a good mood.
SHEILA: Well, I am, Holman, and it's all because of you. I wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about what you said about Daryl yesterday and I realized that you were right.
HOLMAN: I was?
SHEILA: Yes, you were, and I am so over him. "Daryl who?" That's what I say. I realized that I've been chasing the wrong kind of guy. I need someone who I can talk to. I need someone who I can feel safe with.
HOLMAN: I can't tell you what that means to me.
SHEILA: Holman, I want to ask you something and I hope that we can keep it our secret for the time being.
HOLMAN: Of course, Sheila, anything.
SHEILA: Well, what do you think of Agent Mulder?
MULDER: You're not just a weatherman, you're THE weatherman. You're the person who's been affecting the weather.
HOLMAN: Agent Mulder, if I could control the weather don't you think I would make it rain? That I would end this drought?
MULDER: I don't think it works that way. I don't think you do it on purpose. I just think you bottle up your emotions-- anger, grief, or love or whatever-- and then, as a response, it rains or hails or there's a flying cow.
SCULLY: Mulder, it's me.
MULDER: I'm on my way.
SCULLY: I'm not so sure. Have you looked outside lately? It's pea soup. Our plane can't take off until after this fog lifts.
MULDER: Fog? Holman!
MULDER: Yeah... he wants advice. Dating advice.
SCULLY: Dating advice? From whom?
MULDER: Yours truly.
Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
SCULLY: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
MULDER: I will talk to you later.
SCULLY: The blind leading the blind.
HOLMAN: I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were... More experienced. I mean... You spend every day with Agent Scully a beautiful, enchanting woman. And you two never, uh...? I... confess I find that shocking. I... I've seen how you two gaze at one another.
MULDER: This is about you, Holman. I'm here to help you. I'm perfectly happy with my relationship with Agent Scully.
HOLMAN: So according to your theory I walk in there, tell her I love her and the drought will end?
MULDER: Just tell her how you feel.
And Holman. I do not gaze at Scully.
MULDER: I'll build the ark, you gather the animals.
I was kidding.
DARYL: It is good to be the king! It is good to be the king! Where's Sheila?
MULDER: Where's your leg?
DARYL: Cindy took it. Said I'd have to crawl back to her. Now, where's Sheila?
SHEILA: Not even a kiss? Trust me, the man [Mulder] knows how to kiss. I just never thought of Holman that way, you know. He's my closest friend. And to not even suspect...
SCULLY: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships-- the ones that last-- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
DARYL: I'm sorry, baby.
CINDY: Me, too. I brought you a leg.
DARYL: Oh...! Why you so good to me, honey?