Death By Not Proud (117)
Still Crazy After All These Years
Catch and Release
Change of Course
And Eye for an Eye
Truth Be Told
From Whence We Came
It Girls and Beyond
Till We Meat Again
Let Sales Ring
Death By Not Proud
The Black Widow
A Whiff and a Prayer
Men to Boys
Witches of Mass Destruction
Truly Madly, Deeply
Ass Fat Jungle
The Cancer Man Can
Chelina Hall: Hey! Pretty boy. How'd you like to go to Texas?
Alan Shore: I'd love to. I haven't had my shots.
Chelina Hall: I used to work on the Texas Innocence project. One of my cases is up on appeal, and they've asked me back to argue. I could really use your help.
Alan Shore: Because?
Chelina Hall: My last appearance, I unfortunately lost my temper with the chief Judge. I'm afraid he could be prejudiced against me. So I'm looking for the best lawyer I can find. I think that's you.
Alan Shore: What kind of case is this?
Chelina Hall: Capital. The client is scheduled to be executed in sevent-two hours. He could be innocent. What do you say?
Alan Shore: I say I've always wanted to go to Texas.
Chelina Hall: Client's name is Ezekial Borns. He likes to be called Zeke. He has an IQ of eighty. He was convicted eight years ago in the shooting death of a gas station attendant. We finally got a DNA test ordered, it came back negative. One would think that would be enough to clear him. But… the problem is, he confessed, after an all-night interrogation. He could have been coerced, maybe brain washed, maybe both. When we land I would like you to go meet Zeke while I try to get a meeting with the DA.
Alan Shore: I assume you already tried the Governor?
Chelina Hall: I'm told he giggled. High Court is our last stop.
Alan Shore: High Court?
Chelina Hall: Texas doesn't have a Supreme Court, they have two High Courts, one for civil, one for criminal. And the chief Judge on the High Court… we had words on another case.
Alan Shore: When you say you had words…?
Chelina Hall: I called him a disgusting, fat pig.
Zeke Borns: I was all doped up. I remember being at the gas station, but...
Alan Shore: Well, Zeke, why did you confess?
Zeke Borns: They kept telling me I did it, and they had witnesses. I knew I had been there. I probably did do it.
Alan Shore: Your confessions didn't include the word probably? Zeke? You have no memory of shooting the attendant?
Zeke Borns: You're gonna get me sent to hell is what you're doing.
Alan Shore: I beg your pardon?
Zeke Borns: I've already made my peace with God. If I start sayin I didn't do it…
Alan Shore: Zeke, I'm trying to prevent your being executed.
Zeke Borns: They're gonna kill me, Mr Shore. My only salvation's in the next world. I gotta keep my peace with God.
Tara Wilson: Nymphomania?
Shirley Schmidt: Anything you can find. And we'll need to line up an expert who can testify possibly as soon as tomorrow.
Brad Chase: It's not a real disease. It's an excuse offered up by sex perv sickos.
Shirley Schmidt: Yes, Brad. Thank you for that.
Lori Colson: It's also a sexist diagnosis, as well as bogus. If a man was running around trying to schtip everything he could, we wouldn't say that he had a disease we would just call him…
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Denny Crane: I'm a very busy man. I have a caseload you wouldn't believe. So…
Miriam Watson: Hello, Denny.
Denny Crane: Miriam? Don't tell me I have another child.
Shirley Schmidt: Miriam has a criminal case beginning tomorrow.
Denny Crane: Criminal!? What did you do?
Shirley Schmidt: I can tell you what she's charged with. Can I count on your sensitivity?
Denny Crane: Of course.
Shirley Schmidt: She's charged with engaging in sexual conduct for a fee.
Denny Crane: You're a hooker?
Miriam Watson: I'm leaving.
Shirley Schmidt: No! She paid for sex. She didn't charge for it. And the Judge is Clark Brown, which as the reason you're here, in addition to your profound tenderness. We plan to perhaps to use a medical defense of… nymphomania.
Denny Crane: You're a nymph?
Shirley Schmidt: Denny.
Denny Crane: You mean when you and I went on that… long weekend in Napa, and, and, you did those… things…?
Shirley Schmidt: She was sick.
Chelina Hall: We have work to do. We can't…
Alan Shore: I'm not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton.
Alan Shore: Notify my next of kin. He walks up to mechanical bull.
Chelina Hall: Oh my God.
Attendant: Novice? Intermediate? Or Expert?
Alan Shore: Expert! I teach it actually.
Alan Shore: Do I get a whip? Intermediate. Intermediate! Intermediate. Help. Help! Intermediate!
Paul Lewiston: Miriam Watson is a very successful and private businesswoman. Should we raise nymphomania as a defense the media will have a field day.
Shirley Schmidt: Which is why we're trying to nip this with a plea bargain, but without some defense we have no leverage.
Denny Crane: Judge Brown.
Shirley Schmidt: Come again?
Denny Crane: I don't like it when you say that, Shirley. Puts pressure on me.
Shirley Schmidt: What about Judge Brown?
Denny Crane: He's a virgin.
Paul Lewiston: And that would be relevant, how?
Denny Crane: If he saw in our client… an opportunity?
Chelina Hall: First, you cannot, cannot, argue the morality of the Death Penalty. Every Judge sitting up there is for it.
Alan Shore: Clearly.
Chelina Hall: Second, do not mention Zeke's innocence.
Alan Shore: I'm sorry?
Chelina Hall: They won't listen. He did confess.
Alan Shore: Isn't it the DNA test that got us the appeal?
Chelina Hall: The DNA here does not exonerate him.
Alan Shore: But it certainly indicates the presence of somebody else at the murder scene.
Attorney Gerald Litman: Proving innocence is one thing, but since we can't do that, our case here is procedural. The DNA result is ancillary evidence, which hopefully will occasion them to look at procedural flaws. Does that make any sense?
Alan Shore: Yes it does. This is Texas.
Miriam Watson: After my marriage dissolved my sexual desire became inflamed. I was in a few relationships and my appetite took on more the form of an addiction.
Shirley Schmidt: When you say addiction?
Miriam Watson: Now, whenever I so much as look at an able-bodied man my southern region turns tropical.
Shirley Schmidt: What the hell was that? My southern region turns tropical? That little look to the Judge? Did you coach her to do that?
Denny Crane: If the Judge likes us, he gives us a good instruction, it's as simple as that. Might even give us a directed verdict. I'm sensing some intent issues with the prosecutions case. I can feel it. The Judge has intent issues.
Chelina Hall: Alan, this is the court that held a sleeping lawyer isn't necessarily inadequate. You have to show he was sleeping during the important parts. You asked me before, 'Why Texas, instead of having a Supreme Court, it has two High courts?' The reason is to speed up the death cases. They've cut the time it takes to execute people, in half. It's why Texas leads the country in executions. Proudly. Seven of the nine judges you will face tomorrow are former prosecutors!
Alan Shore: Hey. Hey. I promise you, by the time I finish tomorrow; those judges, every last one of them, will rise up and say, "Never mind executing Ezekial Borns, let's kill Alan Shore instead."
Chelina Hall: I told you, you are not wearing that hat. Take it off. Listen... Last night... Sometimes lawyers will bond over a cause, and while I…
Alan Shore: He places his finger on her lips. Chelina. Let's go argue the cause.
Chelina Hall: Remember this motion is a nuisance to them. They will antagonize you. If you even feel yourself wanting to retaliate, you say, "With all due respect, may it please the court." Alan Shore: He nods. Anything else?
Chelina Hall: Persevere. They will try to shut you down before you even begin. Persevere.
Alan Shore: Got it.
Shirley Schmidt: You got to that Judge!
Denny Crane: I don't know what you're talking about.
Shirley Schmidt: You knew his ruling by heart.
Denny Crane: Boilerplate.
Shirley Schmidt: A ruling that was ridiculously pro-defense.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Alan Shore: Your Honor, Texas Law requires that the jury recommend death only in cases where they find that the defendant poses a threat of future dangerousness to society. We maintain this is unconstitutional. Juries are supposed to find on elements of guilt and innocence based on facts beyond a reasonable doubt. Not on the basis of perceived probabilities. Moreover, as a practical matter, since Ezekial Borns will remain in prison for life, he couldn't possibly constitute a future threat to society, unless the law assumes prison breaks.
Judge Christopher Serra: Mr Shore? You came down here from Massachusetts?
Alan Shore: Yes. Sir.
Judge Christopher Serra: We in Texas have been living with this case for eight years.
Alan Shore: You've been living with it personally? May it please the court.
Judge Christopher Serra: You first met Mr Borns, when?
Alan Shore: Yesterday.
Judge Christopher Serra: And you are proposing to us, that you know him. You know what I'd like to propose? I'd like to propose that you got a problem with the death penalty in general. Now, is that why you came here, Sir?
Alan Shore: I am here. With all due respect, may it please the court, because I have a problem with the State executing a man with diminished capacity. Who may very well be innocent! I'm particularly troubled, may it please the court, with all due respect, that you don't have a problem with it. You may not want to regard my client's innocence, but you cannot possibly disregard the fact that 117 wrongfully convicted people have been saved from execution in this country. 117! The system is hardly foolproof. And Texas! This State is responsible for a full third of all executions in America. How can that be? The criminals are just somehow worse here? Last year you accounted for fully half of the nation's executions. Fifty percent from one State! You cannot disregard the possibility, the possibility, that something's up in Texas.
Alan Shore: Zeke Borns never had a chance. He was rounded up as a teenager, thrown in a cell while he was still doped up on drugs, brow-beaten and interrogated, until his IQ of eighty was overcome, he confessed to a crime he had no memory of, still has no memory of, for which there is no evidence, other than two witnesses who saw him pumping gas around the time of the murder. He was given a coked-up lawyer, who admittedly did nothing. I'm now before nine presumably intelligent people in the justice business, who have the benefit of knowing all of this. Add to that, you know DNA places somebody else at the scene, and you're indifferent! You don't care! Whether you believe in my client's innocence, and I'll assume, with all due respect, may it please the court, that you don't! You cannot be sure of his guilt! You simply cannot! And failing that, how can you kill him? How can you kill him? And I would sincerely, sincerely, sincerely, hope that you don't penalize my client, simply because his lawyers happen to be from Massachusetts. The home of the New England Patriots, who could kick ass over any football team you've got in the good state of Texas. May it please the court.
Zeke Borns: Let's do this. I'm ready to die. I'm strong.
Alan Shore: Zeke, you talked about being a hero. Strong and brave, may not go with hero here.
Zeke Borns: What do you mean?
Alan Shore: The State of Texas wants people to believe you're a monster. I think you should show them you're a human being. The human thing to do here is be afraid. If you wanna be a hero, show people what it really feels like to be executed. We're led to believe it's peaceful, painless, humane even. I think you should fight to the end, Zeke. And show your fear.
Zeke Borns: This cause you're against the death penalty? Right?
Alan Shore: Well. Whether a person is for or against the death penalty, he or she should just know what it is. The best way for you to be a hero Zeke, is to be human.
Paul Lewiston: Tara, do you ever feel sexually harassed by Denny?
Tara Wilson: Never.
Paul Lewiston: He never objectifies you?
Tara Wilson: All men objectify me.
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: No cell phones are allowed in here. How'd you get by with that?
Alan Shore: I told the guard we're waiting for a last minute call from your conscience. Collect.