Ass Fat Jungle (208)

Season 1 Head Cases Still Crazy After All These Years Catch and Release Change of Course And Eye for an Eye Truth Be Told Questionable Characters Loose Lips Greater Good Hired Guns Schmidt Happens From Whence We Came It Girls and Beyond Till We Meat Again Tortured Souls Let Sales Ring Death Be Not Proud Season 2 The Black Widow Schadenfreude Finding Nimmo A Whiff and a Prayer Men to Boys Witches of Mass Destruction Truly Madly, Deeply Ass Fat Jungle Gone Legal Deficits The Cancer Man Can

Denny Crane: Night terrors? Alan Shore: I haven't had them in years. Usually it's brought on by distress. Maybe it's my breakup with Tara. Denny Crane: You jump off balconies? Alan Shore: I could, where I happen to be living. I see images of someone or something after me, and in my sleep I run. It's awful. Denny Crane: Last week it was clowns. Alan Shore: Denny? How would you feel about sleeping with me? Next to me. Until this passes. Just to make sure I don't leap off the fourteenth floor. Denny Crane: You'll do anything to get me into bed. Denny Crane: Because we're friends I'm gonna tell you something that nobody else knows. I'm homophobic. Alan Shore: I'm stunned. Denny Crane: Look. I'd do almost anything for you. But I cannot share my bed. Be a man. Get a girl. Alan Shore: Melissa. From what I gather, you seem to be having some financial difficulties. Would you like to earn some extra money, Melissa? Melissa: Ah, how? Alan Shore: I have a condition it's called 'Night Terrors'. During the deepest levels of non-REM sleep, I hear voices, terrifying voice. And sometimes I run. Since I'm sound asleep when I'm running this puts me in significant physical danger. Melissa: Uh huh? Alan Shore: I need somebody to guard me at night. Melissa: When you say guard? Alan Shore: I need you to lie in the bed with me. Should I get up to run outside? Stop me. Melissa: How stupid do you think I am? Alan Shore: So you'll think about it? Melissa: Standard service agreement contract, mostly boiler plate. The language of what I will and will not do is quite specific. So there won't be any Clintonian mishaps. Is means is. Alan Shore: No touching! No cuddling. No sex. You've taken out all the fun. Paul Lewiston: Well evidently you need the speech. Like it or not, this job gets dirty from time to time. What the hell is going on here?! Shirley Schmidt: It's just…Preying on somebody with Alzheimer's when… Obviously I'm a little sensitive, given… Denny Crane: Given what? I say if a woman's brain has turned to oatmeal let's throw in a few raisins and have her for breakfast. Denny Crane: I'm sure by this time tomorrow she won't have any memory of how despicable you were. Can I buy you dinner, or something, Shirley? Shirley Schmidt: Some other time. Thank you. Denny Crane: Thing is I'm having these night terrors? I'm afraid to be alone at night? Denny Crane: Oh alright! I'll sleep with you in your room, but not in the bed. Alan Shore: Denny, you sleep like a log. I'd have to step on your head for you to stir.

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