The One With The Butt (106)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
RACHEL: Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting! CHANDLER: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom... PHOEBE: The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud! CHANDLER: Ross, ten o'clock. ROSS: Is it? Feels like two. CHANDLER: No, ten o'clock. ROSS: What? CHANDLER: There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock! ROSS: Oh. Hel-lo! CHANDLER: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men! CHANDLER: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here. ROSS: He could never get a woman like that in a million years. CHANDLER: Thank you, buddy. PHOEBE: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys. CHANDLER: Who's Rick? AURORA: My husband. CHANDLER: Oh, so you're divorced? AURORA: No. CHANDLER: Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully? AURORA: No, I'm still married. CHANDLER: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?... Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket? AURORA: Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan. CHANDLER: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan? AURORA: Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend. CHANDLER: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend? AURORA: I suppose mainly sexual. MONICA: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out. CHANDLER: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story? MONICA: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this? CHANDLER: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy! PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy? ROSS: No, of course not!...Yeah, yeah, it is. MONICA: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else? JOEY: I couldn't do it. MONICA: Good for you, Joey. JOEY: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is. ROSS: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part? JOEY: ... I'm his... RACHEL: ..You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what? JOEY: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. JOEY: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer. MONICA: For what? JOEY: Whaddya think? Today's the big day! MONICA: Oh my God. Okay, go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there. DIRECTOR: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing? JOEY: Well, I'm- I'm showering. DIRECTOR: No, that was clenching. JOEY: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here. DIRECTOR: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action... and cut. What was that? JOEY: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask... AURORA: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too. CHANDLER: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!' AURORA: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to? CHANDLER: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
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transcribed by guineapig
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