The One With The Football (309)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever |
JOEY: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going? RACHEL: Oh! That would be sooo much fun! PHOEBE: Oh, can I play too? I've never played football, like ever. JOEY: Great, you can cover Chandler. CHANDLER: No, no, no, I don't, I don't really wanna play. JOEY: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up. CHANDLER: That's not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say that I don't have goals! MONICA: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey. JOEY: Thank you. RACHEL: Monica, I'm your best friend. ROSS: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler. RACHEL: Ross! MONICA: Phoebe. ROSS: Sweetie, now I pick you. RACHEL: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me! MONICA: Okay, Phoebe you know what you're doing right? PHOEBE: Yeah. MONICA: Okay, Joey's gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block. PHOEBE: What's block? MONICA: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you're doing? PHOEBE: I thought you meant in life. RACHEL: I almost caught that one! CHANDLER: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7. JOEY: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball. WOMAN: You are playing American football? JOEY: Yeah! Wow, you're like from a whole other country. WOMAN: I'm Dutch. JOEY: Hi-hi, I'm Joey. WOMAN: I'm Margha. JOEY: I'm sorry Dutch, I didn't get that last little bit. CHANDLER: Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna... Hi, I'm Chandler. MARGHA: Hello, Chandler. JOEY: Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan. MARGHA: Margha. JOEY: Mar-klan. MARGHA: Mar-gha. CHANDLER: Mar-haaaan. CHANDLER: Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number. JOEY: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know. CHANDLER: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about. JOEY: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, I'll let you have her. CHANDLER: Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didn't I wouldn't have a shot? JOEY: Well I don't like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Don't feel bad man, we all have our strengths. You're better with numbers and stuff. CHANDLER: Math!!! You're giving me math! PHOEBE: Touchdown!!! Touchdown!!! ROSS: Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesn't count. MONICA: After the snap! ROSS: Before the snap! JOEY: After!!! CHANDLER: Before!!! RACHEL: Now, does it really matter? ALL: Yes!!! MONICA: Listen, I'm not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you can't blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Let's just call this, tie score and it's halftime. ROSS: Okay, first of all, I don't play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!! MONICA: Y'know what? I'll think you'll play. ROSS: Oh really! Why is that? MONICA: Because the winner gets this! ROSS: The Geller Cup. CHANDLER: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four? ALL: Yeah. CHANDLER: Okay, good. CHANDLER: ... hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from? JOEY: Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania. CHANDLER: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right? JOEY: Nice try. See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from. ROSS: Okay, y'know what, let's just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like? CHANDLER AND JOEY: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? MARGHA: Which do I like? ROSS: Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill... MARGHA: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler. CHANDLER: Yes!! JOEY: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didn't understand the question. CHANDLER: Well, why don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her. MARGHA: I'm sorry, Joey, that is my chose. CHANDLER: You hear that! That is her chose, mister I'll let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!!! MARGHA: I'm now thinking I would like to change my answer to, no one. CHANDLER: Wh-what? MARGHA: I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye. JOEY: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex. MONICA: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while you're making out... PHOEBE: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?! MONICA: Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Let's kill 'um! RACHEL: Yeah!!! Kill 'um!!! PHOEBE: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys? MONICA: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and we're down by two points. Two points... Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long. RACHEL: No! Come on! Don't make me go long. Use me. They never cover me. MONICA: Honey, there's a reason. JOEY: Thirty seconds left on the timer! CHANDLER: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home! CHANDLER: Guys! Guys! Come on! It's Thanksgiving, it's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!! RACHEL: We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe there's a like league we could join or something. PHOEBE: Isn't there a national football league. CHANDLER: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights. RACHEL: Oh shoot! I work Monday nights.
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
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