The One Where Monica And Richard Are Friends (313)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
RICHARD: You've got panties stuck to your leg. MONICA: That's because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and it's static cling. Or maybe it's just that God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity. MONICA: You see that guy? He's in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave he's going straight to the porn. RICHARD: He's gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. RICHARD: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something? MONICA: Oh, um, I don't know if that's a good idea. RICHARD: Oh. Look, just friends, I won't grope you. I promise. MONICA: No, I just I think that it's too soon. RICHARD: No it's not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven. CHANDLER: Yeah, baby! ROSS: What are you doing? CHANDLER: Making chocolate milk. Do you want some? ROSS: No thanks. I'm 29. RACHEL: Oh my God, I gotta go to work! ROSS: Oh sweetie, when do you think you're going to get off tonight? RACHEL: Oh I don't know honey. It's gonna be really late. ROSS: Oh come on, not again. RACHEL: I know. I'm sorry. Look, I'll make a deal with you all right? Okay? ROSS: Hmm. RACHEL: For every night that you're asleep before I get home from work... ROSS: Yeah. RACHEL: I will wake you up in a way that's proved very popular in the past. ROSS: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that. RACHEL: Right. JOEY: Look at you. Since when do you roller blade? PHOEBE: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff. ROSS: And what are you going to do for him? PHOEBE: I'm going to let him. ROSS: Okay. JOEY: Cool. RACHEL: Somebody got in late last night. MONICA: Yeah well, I ran into Richard. RACHEL: When did this happen? MONICA: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger. PHOEBE: Oh, there's no such thing as an innocent burger. ROSS: So, are you gonna see him again? MONICA: Tomorrow night. RACHEL: Monica, what are you doing? CHANDLER: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him. MONICA: It's not a date, okay. I'm just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has. JOEY: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know you'll probably be hungry after the sex. MONICA: We're not gonna have sex! Okay, nothing's changed here. He still doesn't want children and I still do, so that's why we're just gonna be friends. ROSS: Naked friends. RACHEL: Hey. JOEY: Hey. RACHEL: Do you have any ice? JOEY: Check the freezer. If there's none in there, then we're probably out. Are you just getting in from work? It's late. RACHEL: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klein. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day? JOEY: I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue. RACHEL: Hmm. Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? JOEY: Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so. RACHEL: But ah, you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? JOEY: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure we've got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know. RACHEL: How often do you read it? JOEY: Haven't you ever read the same book over and over again? RACHEL: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean that's a classic, what's so great about The Shining? JOEY: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet it's way better than that classic of yours. RACHEL: Okay. Ah, well we'll just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, and you will read Little Women. JOEY: All right, you got it. RACHEL: All right. JOEY: Okay. RACHEL: Okay. JOEY: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women. RACHEL: Yeah. JOEY: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little? CHANDLER: So ah, isn't a bit cold out for shorts? ROBERT: Well, I'm from California. CHANDLER: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames. CHANDLER: Okay Ross, why don't you come with me? ROSS: Okay. What ah, what is the matter with you? What's going on? CHANDLER: Robert's coming out. ROSS: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay? CHANDLER: No. He... he's coming out of his shorts. ROSS: What?! CHANDLER: The man is showing brain. ROSS: I'm sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a... ROBERT: Coffee. ROSS: Okay. ROBERT: We could write it down for you? CHANDLER: Well? ROSS: Yeah, yeah, yeah! CHANDLER: What do we do? What do we do? ROSS: Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it. CHANDLER: Like an eclipse. MONICA: Come on, we're gonna put are hands in this bowl, and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes. RICHARD: Ew, this feels very weird. MONICA: You touch people's eyeballs every day and this feels weird. RICHARD: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. JOEY: These little women. Wow! CHANDLER: You're liking it, huh? JOEY: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her. ROSS: Umm, Jo's a girl, it's short for Josephine. JOEY: But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh. You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? 'Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining. CHANDLER: No, actually Laurie's a boy. JOEY: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times. CHANDLER: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day! ROBERT: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I don't think I can wear these, they're so tight, I feel like I'm on display. I'm sorry. JOEY: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining? RACHEL: Oh, Danny just went into room 217. JOEY: Oooh, the next part's the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub... RACHEL: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on you're gonna ruin it! JOEY: All right I'll talk in code. Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway? CHANDLER: Hmmm, that's very cool. JOEY: Oh, all blank, and no blank, make's blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww! RACHEL: Joey! I can't believe you just did that! CHANDLER: I can't believe she cracked your code! RACHEL: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though she's still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy. JOEY: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad. RACHEL: Eh. Beth dies. JOEY: Beth, Beth dies? RACHEL: Um-hmm. JOEY: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die? CHANDLER: No, Beth doesn't die, she doesn't die. Does she Rachel? RACHEL: What?! ROSS: Joey's asking if you've just ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson? RACHEL: No. She doesn't die. JOEY: Then why would you say that?! RACHEL: Because, I wanted to hurt you. ROBERT: So are ready for the gym? They've got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other. PHOEBE: No, I can spot you from here. ROBERT: What? PHOEBE: Okay, listen Robert... ROSS: Hey, don't we have to... CHANDLER: Yeah, we got, um-hmm. PHOEBE: Umm, I think you're really, really great... ROBERT: Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? Is it something I'm putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts? PHOEBE: I-I-I-I-I don't know, I don't know what to say. GUNTHER: Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house. RACHEL: What? JOEY: Beth is really, really sick. RACHEL: Awwww. JOEY: Jo's there, but I don't think there's anything she could do. RACHEL: Joey? JOEY: Yeah. RACHEL: Do you want to put the book in the freezer? JOEY: Okay. RACHEL: Okay.
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
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