The One With All The Haste (419)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever |
RACHEL: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy! JOEY: Are you kidding? I love that guy! Morning's here! Morning is here- RACHEL: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small. MONICA: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did. RACHEL: Monica, you don't even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor! MONICA: Y'know what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live! RACHEL: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. MONICA: Okay. JOEY: See, this is a great apartment. MONICA: Shut up! This place is a hole! ROSS: I could ask her to live with me! CHANDLER: Are you serious? ROSS: I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?! CHANDLER: Because you've only known her for six weeks! Okay, I've got a carton of milk in my fridge I've had a longer relationship with! JOEY: Wait-wait-wait-wait! Come on! Come on, let's trade! The timing's perfect, I just clogged the toilet! CHANDLER: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we can't leave in the small apartment after we've lived here! Didn't you ever read Flowers for Algernon? JOEY: Yes! Didn't you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didn't read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight! CHANDLER: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats. JOEY: It's the Knicks! CHANDLER: Screw the Knicks! JOEY: Whoa! PHOEBE: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it? CHANDLER: No. No. We're not gonna do that, y'know why? Because its not an even trade. RACHEL: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets? JOEY: Done! RACHEL: Let me finish. JOEY: Oh. JOEY: What's the game?! What's the game?! PHOEBE: Oh, well, it doesn't have a name-oh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesn't have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees? MONICA: They're green? PHOEBE: Good! Good! Five points! All right, Joey, same question. JOEY: Uhh, they're tall. PHOEBE: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy. MONICA: That's not even a game! RACHEL: What? Shut up! We're winning! MONICA: You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say? CHANDLER: Fine, let's do it. PHOEBE: Oh, I have cards! JOEY: Oh. MONICA: Oh, good. PHOEBE: Yeah! Here! Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay. CHANDLER: Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first RACHEL: Okay. MONICA: Okay. Four. CHANDLER: That's a low one! JOEY: Yeah! Okay. Phoebe, you look, I can't. PHOEBE: What make you think I can?! JOEY: Okay. Okay. Ace! CHANDLER: Why are you screaming and hugging? MONICA: Because we won our apartment back! JOEY: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace! MONICA: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four! RACHEL: All right, cut, let's pick again, pick again. JOEY: Okay. RACHEL: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! Oh! I know queen is high! JOEY: Uh-huh, not as high as...It worked! King! CHANDLER: Yeah baby! MONICA: But, we pick again! We pick again! JOEY: Why?! MONICA: I don't know! CHANDLER: Tickets please! That's courtside baby! JOEY: Seriously, good game though. Good game. What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back! CHANDLER: No they didn't! CHANDLER: Oh. Oh, God! JOEY: Hey, want a beer? WHOA!!!! CHANDLER: I KNOW!!! CHANDLER: Open up! Open up! Open up! MONICA: We'll discuss it, in the morning! CHANDLER: What the hell is going on?! RACHEL: We took our apartment back!!! PHOEBE: I had nothing to do with it. Okay, it was my idea, but I don't feel good about it. CHANDLER: We are switching back, right now! MONICA: No, we're not! We're not leaving! CHANDLER: Well, you're gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, we're switching it back! There's nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe? JOEY: I don't know. CHANDLER: What? JOEY: I don't want to move again! CHANDLER: I don't care, this is our apartment! And they stole-you stole it-our apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. I'm getting back right now! RACHEL: All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup offer. CHANDLER: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You can't offer anything to us! RACHEL: Let us keep the apartment and... MONICA: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute. CHANDLER: Totally worth it! JOEY: That was one good minute!
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transcribed by Eric Aasen
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