The One With The Flashback (306)

written by Marta Kauffman & David Crane

Season 1
Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
With The Sonogram At The End
With The Thumb
With George Stephanoloulos
With The East German Laundry Detergent
With The Butt
With The Blackout
Where Nana Dies Twice
Where Underdog Gets Away
With The Monkey
With Mrs.Bing
With The Dozen Lasagnes
With The Boobies
With The Candy Hearts
With The Stoned Guy
With Two Parts, Part 1
With Two Parts, Part 2
With All The Poker
Where The Monkey Gets Away
With The Evil Orthodontist
With The Fake Monica
With The Ick Factor
With The Birth
Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
With Ross' New Girlfriend
With The Breast Milk
Where Heckles Dies
With Phoebe's Husband
With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
With The Baby On The Bus
Where Ross Finds Out
With The List
With Phoebe's Dad
With Russ
With The Lesbian Wedding
After The Superbowl, Part 1
After The Superbowl, Part 2
With The Prom Video
Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
Where Joey Moves Out
Where Eddie Moves In
Where Dr.Remore Dies
Where Eddie Won't Go
Where Old Yeller Dies
With The Two Bullies
With The Two Parties
With The Chickenpox
With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
With The Princess Leia Fantasy
Where No-One's Ready
With The Jam
With The Metaphorical Tunnel
With Frank Jnr
With The Flashback
With The Race Car Bed
With The Giant Poking Device
With The Football
Where Rachel Quits
Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
With All The Jealousy
Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
With Phoebe's Ex-Partner
Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
With The Morning After
With The Ski Trip
With The Hypnosis Tape
With The Tiny T-Shirt
With The Dollhouse
With The Chick and the Duck
With The Screamer
With Ross's Thing
With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
At The Beach

Season 4
With The Jellyfish
With The Cat
With The 'Cuffs
With The Ballroom Dancing
With Joey's New Girlfriend
With The Dirty Girl
Where Chandler Crosses The Line
With Chandler In A Box
Where They're Gonna Party!
With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
With Phoebe's Uterus
With The Embryos
With Rachel's Crush
With Joey's Dirty Day
With All The Rugby
With The Fake Party
With The Free Porn
With Rachel's New Dress
With All The Haste
With All The Wedding Dresses
With The Invitation
With The Worst Best Man Ever
With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
After Ross Said Rachel
With All The Kissing
Where Phoebe Hates PBS
With All The Kips
With The Yeti
Where Ross Moves In
With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
With Ross's Sandwich
With The Inappropriate Sister
With All The Resolutions
With Chandler's Work Laugh
With Joey's Bag
Where Everyone Finds Out
With The Girl Who Hits Joey
With A Cop
With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
Where Rachel Smokes
Where Ross Can't Flirt
With The Ride Along
With The Ball
With Joey's Big Break
In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
After Vegas
Where Ross Hugs Rachel
With Ross's Denial
Where Joey Loses His Insurance
With Joey's Porsche
With The Last Night
Where Phoebe Runs
With Ross's Teeth
Where Ross Got High
With The Routine
With The Apothecary Table
With The Joke
With Rachels Sister
Where Chandler Can't Cry
That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
With The Unagi
Where Ross Dates A Student
With Joey's Fridge
With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
Where Paul's The Man
With The Ring
With The Proposal(Season Finale)

With Monica\'s Thunder
With Rachel's Book
With Phoebe's Cookies
With Rachel's Assistant
With The Engagement Picture
With The Nap Partners
With Ross's Library Book
Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
With All The Candy
With The Holiday Armadilio
With All The Cheesecakes
Where They're Up All Night
Where Rosita Dies
Where They All Turn Thirty
With Joey's New Brain
With The Truth About London
With The Cheap Wedding Dress
With Joey's Award
With Ross and Monica's Cousin
With Rachel's Big Kiss
With The Vows
With Chandler's Dad

Season 8
After 'I Do'
With The Red Sweater
Where Rachel Tells...
With The Videotape
With Rachel's Date
With The Halloween Party
JANICE: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?

PHOEBE: Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.

ROSS: I'm sorry the answer there would be...none of us.

JANICE: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.

JOEY: Well, that's really a different question.

JANICE: I'm sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.

JOEY: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.


RACHEL: Excuse me, there was no time!

JOEY: Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?

JANICE: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever... almost?

RACHEL: Does anybody need more coffee?

ROSS: Yeah, I'll take some.

JOEY: Hey, there's a dog out there!

ROSS: Hey, y'know while we're on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don't live here anymore.

PHOEBE: I think on some levels she already knows.

ROSS: Phoebe, she doesn't know that you sneak out every night, she doesn't know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn't know that you've been living with your Grandmother's for a week now.

PHOEBE: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.

CHANDLER: I'm never gonna find a roommate, ever.

PHOEBE: Why, nobody good?

CHANDLER: Well let's see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that's plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!

ROSS: So how many more do you have tomorrow?

CHANDLER: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I'm not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing,' he said 'Whoa-whoa, short message.'

ROSS: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...

CHANDLER: Umm, how's it going with you guys?

ROSS: Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately.

PHOEBE: Oh, really?

ROSS: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn't really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it's gonna make a difference

CHANDLER: Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?

ERIC: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that's cool.

CHANDLER: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know... never.

ERIC: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she's a porn star.

CHANDLER: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think you're chances are pretty good.

CHANDLER: Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by. Bye-bye.

JOEY: Don't you ah, don't you wanna ask me any questions?

MONICA: Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.

CHANDLER: Do I ever.

MONICA: Chris says they're closing down the bar.


MONICA: Yeah, apparently they're turning it into some kinda coffee place.

CHANDLER: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?

MONICA: Hey, did you pick a roommate?

CHANDLER: You betcha!

MONICA: Is it the Italian guy?

CHANDLER: Um-mm, yeah right!

MONICA: He's so cute.

CHANDLER: Oh yes, and that's what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.

MONICA: Oh look, the pool table's free. Rack 'em up. I'll be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.

CHANDLER: Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool.

PHOEBE: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.

MR. HECKLES: You're disturbing my oboe practice.

PHOEBE: You don't play the oboe!

MR. HECKLES: I could play the oboe!

PHOEBE: Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down.

MONICA: Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!

JOEY: You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?


JOEY: Whoa, ah!!! Were you just gonna give me some lemonade?

MONICA: Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!

JOEY: Oh right, right.

MONICA: I don't believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?

JOEY: Well usually... yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice.

MONICA: Pheebs?


MONICA: Where's your bed?

PHOEBE: It's not in the apartment? Oh no. I can't believe this is happening again.


PHOEBE: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I've, I don't live here anymore.

MONICA: What are you talking about?

PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I-I-I-I don't live here anymore. I-I didn't know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!

MONICA: Everybody knows!

PHOEBE: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn't sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.

MONICA: Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.

PHOEBE: Yeah, I would've except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.

MONICA: What?!?!

PHOEBE: Okay, this is what I'm talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.

MONICA: You can spill. In the sink.

PHOEBE: Aw, honey it's not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don't see that happening.

MONICA: I love you, too.

PHOEBE: Aww, good. What?

MONICA: What? I'm just sad.

PHOEBE: No you're not, you're wondering which cushion it is.

CHANDLER: So ah, whatcha watching?

JOEY: Baywatch.

CHANDLER: What's it about?

JOEY: Lifeguards.

CHANDLER: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... Who's she?

JOEY: Nicole Eggert. You'll like her.

CHANDLER: Wow! Look at them run.

JOEY: They do that a lot.

ROSS: Hi. Where is everybody?

PHOEBE: Oh, it's already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up. What is wrong?

ROSS: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.

PHOEBE: Oh no! Why?

ROSS: 'Cause Carol's a lesbian. And, and I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix and match situation.

CHANDLER: Umm, this is nice.

MONICA: I know, it is, isn't it?

CHANDLER: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?

MONICA: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.

CHANDLER: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.

MONICA: Hey, are you okay?

ROSS: My wife's a lesbian.

JOEY: Cool!!!

transcribed by Eric B Aasen