The One With The Chick and the Duck (321)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
MONICA: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant? RACHEL: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass? MONICA: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. But Pete's just doing this because he has a crush on me. RACHEL: And you're still not attracted to him at all? MONICA: Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I can't. I couldn't even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade. RACHEL: Yeah, but Mon that's totally different. He was your health teacher. MONICA: Oh, please. CHANDLER: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen. PHOEBE: Umm, oh, about three months. CHANDLER: Okay, so I guess that's about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in. MONICA: I can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me... PETE: Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's-that's what you're worried about? If that's the problem, we've got no problem. MONICA: Huh? PETE: No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip. MONICA: Oh? PETE: Her name's Ann, she's a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting. MONICA: Oh, that's great! I mean I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you. And now I can work for you! PETE: I guess you can. MONICA: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! All right, y'know what? I'm just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit! PHOEBE: Wow! That's exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman. PETE: What? PHOEBE: I'm just saying, this woman, I mean she's fictitious. No? PETE: Why would you say that? PHOEBE: 'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so 'cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and... PETE: You're good. You're good! PHOEBE: Yeah, no, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift. PETE: Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her though? PHOEBE: Absolutely, oh I promise. Tell her what? PETE: Thanks a lot. PHOEBE: No I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks. JOEY: ... I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks. CHANDLER: Excuse me? JOEY: What? CHANDLER: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick! JOEY: Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep? CHANDLER: You don't think I get up when you get up? JOEY: Ohhh, here it comes. CHANDLER: Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister! JOEY: Hey!!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day! CHANDLER: And you don't think taking care of our chick is work? JOEY: That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant... CHANDLER: I know what you meant!!! You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too? JOEY: I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick. CHANDLER: I'll take her back tomorrow. JOEY: Do you think we'll get our three bucks back? ROSS: Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay? RACHEL: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet. ROSS: And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. Come on, you probably have a broken rib! RACHEL: Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then. ROSS: Rach... RACHEL: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready. ROSS: Rachel... RACHEL: Look, either help me or go. ROSS: Fine. I'll go. RACHEL: Okay, but before you go, could you help me first? MONICA: Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight. PHOEBE: What? MONICA: I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete. PHOEBE: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you. MONICA: I know. PHOEBE: Ooh, I have to tell you something. MONICA: What? PHOEBE: But I can't tell you. MONICA: Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me. PHOEBE: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods. MONICA: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel? PHOEBE: No. MONICA: Does it have to do with Joey? PHOEBE: No. MONICA: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed? PHOEBE: No, but let's come back to that later! RACHEL: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed? ROSS: Sure, okay. RACHEL: Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around. ROSS: What? RACHEL: I don't want you to see me naked! ROSS: Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button? RACHEL: Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird. ROSS: Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want. RACHEL: What? ROSS: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!! RACHEL: Ross! Stop that! ROSS: Ah, I'm sorry. RACHEL: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more! ROSS: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. Oop, oh yeah! RACHEL: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out! ROSS: Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king. CHANDLER: Hey! JOEY: Ohhh. Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today. CHANDLER: I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out? If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine! JOEY: Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too. CHANDLER: Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals! JOEY: That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man. CHANDLER: Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way. RACHEL: What thing? What is this thing? ROSS: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel. RACHEL: Oh my God! ROSS: Yeah. RACHEL: Ross, why didn't you tell me that? ROSS: Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on. RACHEL: I cannot believe you. ROSS: What? RACHEL: That is the sweetest thing, I just.... ROSS: You should get some sleep. RACHEL: Okay. ROSS: So, I'll umm... RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry I spoiled you're evening. ROSS: No, that's, no, as long as you're okay. So I'll ah, I'll see you tomorrow. RACHEL: Um-hmm, yeah. See ya. JOEY: What 'cha doing? CHANDLER: Having a swim. JOEY: What about the chick? CHANDLER: Chicks don't swim. JOEY: Are you sure? CHANDLER: I don't know. Should we try it? JOEY: Sure. CHANDLER: See, I told you they don't swim. JOEY: Wait. Give him a minute. CHANDLER: Noo!
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
51982
