The One Where No-One's Ready (302)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JOEY: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. CHANDLER: Taste it. JOEY: Yep, it's fat. I drank fat! CHANDLER: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago. JOEY: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech? ROSS: No! Do you wanna hear it? JOEY: Am I in it? ROSS: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey. CHANDLER: Get up. JOEY: What? CHANDLER: You're in my seat. JOEY: How is this your seat? CHANDLER: 'Cause I was sitting there. JOEY: But then you left. CHANDLER: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back. JOEY: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else. CHANDLER: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat. JOEY: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there [bathroom]. Soo... MONICA: Has somebody been drinking my fat? MONICA: "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy." JOEY: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy. WOMAN'S VOICE: Ola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, okay. JOEY: Now she sounded breezy. CHANDLER: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Mim, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!" JOEY: Okay. CHANDLER: What are you doing? JOEY: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions. CHANDLER: The cushions are the essence of the chair! JOEY: That's right! I'm taking the essence. ROSS: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty. RACHEL: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep. ROSS: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep. RACHEL: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days. JOEY: Where's my underwear?! ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear? CHANDLER: He took my essence! ROSS: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now? JOEY: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now. ROSS: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight? JOEY: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues. CHANDLER: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions. JOEY: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you. CHANDLER: What are you, what are you gonna *show* me my clothes? JOEY: Hey, opposite, is opposite! CHANDLER: You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about? JOEY: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. CHANDLER: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!! JOEY: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando... CHANDLER: Oooo-ooh! JOEY: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. ROSS: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there. JOEY: You could drink the fat. ROSS: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation. RACHEL: No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting. ROSS: What? RACHEL: I think you should drink the fat. JOEY: Yaaaay! ROSS: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do. PHOEBE: Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out. ROSS: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. RACHEL: No, no, no, wait! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go! ROSS: You will?! RACHEL: You were really gonna do that, weren't you? ROSS: Well, yeah. RACHEL: You were gonna drink the fat. JOEY: Let's see what else he'll do! ROSS: How 'bout instead you go get changed! You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica! ROSS: Rachel!! Wow! You, uh, you look, wow! RACHEL: And I still have about five seconds to spare. Okay, that was about seven seconds. ROSS: So we're a little late. RACHEL: Come on. Oh! And, uh, by the way... ROSS: What? RACHEL: I'm going commando, too. ROSS: Awwww!!! SHERMAN WHITFIELD: Dr. Geller, Sherman Whitfield, London Institute. ROSS: Wow! What a pleasure. WHITFIELD: Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written. CHANDLER: Excuse me. Hi. WHITFIELD: Yes? CHANDLER: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat. WHITFIELD: What do you mean, your seat? CHANDLER: I mean, I was sitting there. WHITFIELD: But, you got up! CHANDLER: But, I never left the room! WHITFIELD: But, you left the chair area. CHANDLER: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
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