The One With Rachel's Crush (413)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever |
PHOEBE: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school? MONICA: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why? PHOEBE: Well, it's just that maternity clothes are so expensive. PHOEBE: Ooh! How was Kathy's play? ROSS: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin' guy. CHANDLER: Yeah, it's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it! CHANDLER: I'm totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then they're gonna go to their cast parties and he's gonna try to undermine me. Y'know it'll be like, "So where's your boyfriend, what's-his-name, Chester?" And she'll go, "No-no-no, it's Chandler." And he'll go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!" JOEY: That-that is a good trick. CHANDLER: All right, look, look, what am I gonna do? JOEY: Chandler, look they're actors. They're there to do a job, just 'cause they work together, doesn't mean they're gonna get together. I mean just 'cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them. ROSS: Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. JOEY: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. ROSS: Yeah. PHOEBE: Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. ROSS: They're not a couple! PHOEBE: Oh-okay, I get the game now. JOEY: Listen also we're uh, we're watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over. ROSS: Oh yeah! MONICA: Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game. JOEY: Oh yeah, who's playing? MONICA: The players. KATHY: It's a good play, isn't it? CHANDLER: Oh, I loved the play. You were great, and Nick ditto. Clearly you're having sex with him. KATHY: Clearly, I'm having sex with him? CHANDLER: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two! KATHY: Okay, so let me just get this straight. You're accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance? CHANDLER: Y'know, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know you're up there every night, you're naked, touching, kissing. KATHY: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I'm-I'm playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?! CHANDLER: Well, you can understand, given how we started. KATHY: Oh, wow. I can't believe you're throwing that in my face. CHANDLER: Well, that is what happened, and I don't even see you denying this! KATHY: I'll tell you what, Chandler, why don't you call me when you grow up! CHANDLER: Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon! RACHEL: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It's just so frustrating! PHOEBE: Why don't you ask him out? JOEY: Oh, yeah, totally! That's such a turn-on! RACHEL: Really? It doesn't seem desperate? JOEY: Oh-ooh, that's the turn-on. CHANDLER: Did she call? PHOEBE: No, sorry. CHANDLER: All right, maybe I should call her. JOEY: No! Forget her, man! You don't need her, you don't need that! ROSS: He's right, what she did was unforgivable. CHANDLER: Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong? ROSS: How might you be wrong? CHANDLER: Well y'know, what if she didn't actually sleep with the guy? JOEY: Dude, tell me she actually told you this. CHANDLER: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross! ROSS: That's all you're basing this on? CHANDLER: That's not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat. JOEY: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry. CHANDLER: Oh my God!!! RACHEL: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if you're interested, just as a thank you for this week. JOSHUA: Wow! That would be great. RACHEL: Really? JOSHUA: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. JOEY: Okay, for next time, what do you say? RACHEL: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket. ROSS: So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down? RACHEL: He didn't turn me down! He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it! PHOEBE: Oh did you, what did you, did you work for two days straight? MONICA: Pretty much. So, what do you, what do you think of the floor? JOEY: I don't know, it looks the same. MONICA: You used to have carpet. JOEY: Oh yeah!
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transcribed by Eric Aasen
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