The One Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister (311)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JOEY: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. I just did it, again. Here, I'll slow it down so that you guys can see it.
CHANDLER: Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end? MONICA: Honey, what's the matter? CHANDLER: I just saw Janice. ALL: Oh. CHANDLER: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them. JOEY: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me. CHANDLER: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon. JOEY: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know... MONICA: Hi. I mean you're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs? PHOEBE: Well, he's very charming. MONICA: I know, he's too charming, but if you two start going out, then it's just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him. PHOEBE: Well, you're just gonna have to try. MONICA: Stick out your tongue. CHANDLER: Take off your shirt! RACHEL: Hi! So I'm out having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview! ROSS: Wow! RACHEL: I know! ROSS: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason? RACHEL: Uh-huh! ROSS: And he's, he's a total stranger? RACHEL: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something. ROSS: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex. RACHEL: What!? ROSS: Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason. RACHEL: To be nice. ROSS: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason? JOEY: No, only for sex. ROSS: Thank you. PHOEBE: Hey! COOKIE: Hey. What are we drinkin' over here. PHOEBE: Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice. COOKIE: No kiddin,' that's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband. PHOEBE: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you. SISTER 1: What 'cha doing? CHANDLER: Oh, I'm taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dialer. JOEY'S SISTERS: Oh!!! CHANDLER: No-no-no-no, no, it's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have. ROSS: So, he's just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping him? RACHEL: Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him, but y'know, that's true of any job. PHOEBE: Where'd you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents. ROSS: Yeah. CHANDLER: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone. ALL: Woooo hoooo!!! CHANDLER: Ow, no 'woo-hooing,' no 'woo-hooing.' PHOEBE: Why, what happened? CHANDLER: Ah, I fooled around with Joey's sister. Well, that's not the worst part. MONICA: What is the worse part? CHANDLER: I can't remember which sister. ROSS: You see what men do! Don't tell me men are not nice! This is men!!! MONICA: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, he's actually going to kill you dead. CHANDLER: Okay! You don't think I thought of that? PHOEBE: How can you not know which one? RACHEL: I mean that's unbelievable. MONICA: I mean, was it Gina? ROSS: Which one is Gina? RACHEL: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings. MONICA: No, no, no, that's Dina. CHANDLER: You see you can't tell which one is which either, dwha!! PHOEBE: We didn't fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha! CHANDLER: Veronica. Look, it's got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat. MONICA: That was me. JOEY: Can I talk to you for a second?! ROSS: Hey, Joey. RACHEL: Hey. JOEY: Come on!!! CHANDLER: Why can't we talk in here? With, with, witnesses. ROSS: "Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. How's it going. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write." What the hell's a matter with you? How do you think Joey's going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter? CHANDLER: Well, that's the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually I'll be in Cuba. ROSS: All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy. CHANDLER: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela? ROSS: Where in Cuba? CHANDLER: Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here? JOEY: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you? CHANDLER: I'm here to see Mary-Angela. JOEY: You are so the man! Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, 'cause my Grandma doesn't know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah. ROSS: What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way? MONICA: What? ROSS: 'Why don't you call him?!' Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend! MONICA: Are you crazy?! ROSS: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal. MONICA: What?! Ross y'know this isn't even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too? ROSS: No. MONICA: I mean don't you trust her? ROSS: Well, yeah! MONICA: Then get over yourself! Grow up! ROSS: You grow up. CHANDLER: This tiramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela? JOEY'S GRANDMOTHER: No! I did! CHANDLER: Well, it's, it's yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it? JOEY'S GRANDMOTHER: Of course! It's her favorite. CHANDLER: So um, Mary-Angela, what's your second favorite? JOEY'S GRANDMOTHER: More of Grandma's teramisu. CHANDLER: Would you just please... give me the recipe 'cause this is great. It's top notch. JOEY'S GRANDMOTHER: That dies with me. CHANDLER: So will I. JOEY'S SISTER: Finally, I thought we'd never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. CHANDLER: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. Um, I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really in a, in a commitment kind of place. JOEY'S SISTER: So?! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips. CHANDLER: Ahhhh, you're not Mary-Angela. JOEY'S SISTER: No, I'm Mary-Theresa. MARY-THERESA: Chandler was just kissin' me because he thought I was Mary-Angela. JOEY: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela? CHANDLER: I wasn't sure which one Mary-Angela was. Look, I'm sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar. JOEY'S SISTER: I say, punch him Joey. ALL: Yeah! Punch him!! CHANDLER: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brother's not going to punch me. Are ya? JOEY: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought you'd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?! CHANDLER: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, you're my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again. COOKIE: So what. I say, punch him. ALL: Yeah! Punch him! Punch him! JOEY: No! No! No! No, I'm not going to punch Chandler. COOKIE: I'll do it. JOEY: No you won't. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, he's sorry. But, you've got one more apology to make, all right, you've got to apologize to Mary-Angela. CHANDLER: Okay, absolutely! JOEY: All right. CHANDLER: You've got it. JOEY: Cookie, now you can punch him! CHANDLER: What?! MONICA: So ah, Phoebe, how was your date? PHOEBE: Oh well y'know. MONICA: Yeah, I do know. PHOEBE: Ick, you were eavesdropping. RACHEL: Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down. PHOEBE: Oh, I'm sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me. ROSS: Maybe he's just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it? ROSS: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too? JOEY: All right, that's it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! But, is he a big guy?
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
51982
