The One Where Eddie Won't Go (219)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here? EDDIE: Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep. CHANDLER: Why? EDDIE: Makes me feel um, peaceful, heh-heh, please. CHANDLER: I can't sleep now. EDDIE: You want me to sing? CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now. EDDIE: Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man. CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter... better roommate than you. EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh? CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!! EDDIE: Ok, you really want me out? CHANDLER: Yes please. EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out. CHANDLER: I want you out. EDDIE: No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips. CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before? JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have? MONICA: A mirror? JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty. MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood. JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from square one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache. MONICA: Cache? Jaunty? JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book? MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible. PHOEBE: Didn't it like totally speak to you? RACHEL: Woah, woah, woah, what book is this? MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered. PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it. RACHEL: Men just take out wind? PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers. PHOEBE: Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip. JOEY: Anybody want a croan. PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?' RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so. MONICA: Isn't it. RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'. PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you. ROSS: Uh, sweetie we've gotta go. RACHEL: NO! ROSS: No? RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table? ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning. RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind. ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind? RACHEL: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow? ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a - have a problem with that. RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry. PHOEBE: Um-um, um-um. RACHEL: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Dammit! JOEY: What is it? ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it. JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. JOEY: Uh-oh. ROSS: What, what's that? JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good. ROSS: Open it, open in. JOEY: Oh my God. ROSS: Woah. JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money? ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due. JOEY: Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic. ROSS: Toilet paper? JOEY: Yeah. JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go. GUNTHER: Lemonade? You ok man? JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show. GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it? JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft. GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche. JOEY: What? GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children. JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks. CASTING GUY: Excuse me, that's 50 bucks. JOEY: What? CASTING GUY: Five oh dollars. JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything. CASTING GUY: That's great. JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting. ROSS: Oh my God, what's goin' on? JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right. ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey. JOEY: Thanks Ross. ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition. JOEY: I went. ROSS: Great, how did it go? JOEY: Oh, not my parrot. ROSS: What? JOEY: I can't watch this. ROSS: Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird? MOVER: 1200. ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird? JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register. ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200? MOVER: Uh, the dog. ROSS: Huh. MOVER: Yeah. ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man. JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though... I'll take the dog though. CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday? EDDIE: Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it. CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday? EDDIE: Uh, yes. CHANDLER: So what happened? EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man. CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses. CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over? JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it. CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place? JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky. CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.
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transcribed by Joshua Hodge
52301
