The One With Phoebe's Husband (204)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
STRANGER: Hi. RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you? STRANGER: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here? RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her. STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married? PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card. MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything. PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve. MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking? ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental. MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me. PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything. MONICA: What have I not told you? PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace. RACHEL: What! MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? You are dead meat. CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret. MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple. PHOEBE: You have a third nipple? CHANDLER: You bitch. ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out. CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless. RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples? JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin. ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was? JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie. ALL: Huuh. CHANDLER: If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me. ROSS: You were in a porno? JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it. MONICA: That is wild. ROSS: So what's it shaped like? PHOEBE: Yeah, is there a hair on it? JOEY: What happens if you flick it? ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special? CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia. JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you. CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area? RACHEL: I think it's sexy. ROSS: Sexy? RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex. ROSS: No kidding? RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do? ROSS: What? RACHEL: I'd wait. ROSS: You'd wait? RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait... then I'd wait some more. ROSS: Really? RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working. ROSS: Women really want this? RACHEL: More than jewelry. ROSS: I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before. RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing? ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey. RACHEL: What did, what did he say? ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so... CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie. ROSS: Pop it in. JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see. ROSS: What's wrong with people having sex? RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here. MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
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