The One With The Screamer (322)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JOEY: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! ALL: Oh! JOEY: And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it. MONICA: Joey, what are you doing?! It's never gonna happen, she's seeing somebody. CHANDLER: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne. JOEY: The green bottle next to the shaving cream. CHANDLER: Oh! Worm medicine for the duck. CHANDLER: Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre? MONICA: Of course not. PHOEBE: No. CHANDLER: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else. ROSS: Excuse me, I'm sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats. MAN: Umm, no, I don't think so. TOMMY: Can-can we take a look at your ticket? MAN: Sure. ROSS: Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh. MAN: Oh, well I thought that ah. TOMMY: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didn't really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look you're surrounded by even numbers!!! Did that give you some clue?! MAN: Uh, the usher told us to come. TOMMY: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! Here! Hey man, you want the aisle? ROSS: No, I'm good. ROSS: I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think he's baaad news! CHANDLER: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, that's odd. CAILIN: So. How'd you guys meet? PETE: Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine. MONICA: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version. RACHEL: Hey! PHOEBE: Oh, is the play over? MONICA: Yeah. Where were you? HOLD VOICE: Thank you for your patience, you're the next caller. MONICA: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy. PHOEBE: Nah. I kept myself busy. JOEY: Hey! Are you okay? KATE: Fabulous. JOEY: Listen, drama critics they're nothing but, but people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do? KATE: Become a drama critic! THE DIRECTOR: I am hurt! A plague on both your houses! KATE: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review. JOEY: Oh, classy. KATE: Yep! I sure know how to pick 'em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this! JOEY: Wow! Yeah I ah, I gave up a job too. KATE: Really. What? JOEY: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. We'll stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post. KATE: Why the Post? JOEY: Oh, you didn't see the Post? KATE: No. You? JOEY: No. Why? KATE: So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me? JOEY: Oh, absolutely! You're talented and you're good looking. KATE: Oh, you're sweet and cute. JOEY: I know! That's why they trashed me! JOEY: Hey! MONICA: Hey! Didn't you have that outfit on last night? JOEY: Yeah! I stayed at Kate's, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya? PHOEBE: I'm so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see you're play. I swear you're play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. You're play is the next play is the next play I'm gonna see. TOMMY: Whoa!!! ROSS: Whoa, sorry Tommy. TOMMY: What's in the cup, Ross? ROSS: Umm. TOMMY: What is in the cup?! ROSS: Okay, it's coffee. TOMMY: Ice coffee? Tell me it's ice coffee! ROSS: It's-it's hot. TOMMY: Hot coffee!!! You idiot!!! You were gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?! What are you just some big, dumb, stupid, doofy idiot, with a doofy idiot hairdo, huh?! Huh?! TOMMY: Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? Aww. Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!!! Oh look at me, I'm so cute, I'm a little chick who's disgusting! God, you're so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!!! Quack-quack, quack-quack!!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!! CHANDLER: Step away from the duck. KATE: Joey! JOEY: Hey! KATE: I'm soo glad I caught you, I couldn't find you before. JOEY: Wh-wh-what's going on? Wh-what's this about L.A.? KATE: They still want me for General Hospital. JOEY: But, but wh-what about us? KATE: Last night was wonderful. But I-I can't stay here just for you. JOEY: Well, so, stay for the museums! LAUREN: So this is it? Victor? JOEY: Yeah, I guess it is. Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick 'cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, you've got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so, I'm gonna get on this spaceship, and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, I'm gonna want to meet her. MONICA: Phoebe, it's been two days. PHOEBE: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it's one of those 801 numbers. Right? ROSS: Phoebe, 800 is toll free, 801 is-is Utah. PHOEBE: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, it's has to be 801. 'Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one. RACHEL: Phoe-be!!! PHOEBE: Sorry, I'm so sorry, I will pay you back. CHANDLER: And yet, she's still not hanging up the phone. ALL: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!!! PHOEBE: Fine! Fine! Oh-oh! MONICA: What? PHOEBE: Well, I think I broke it. But that's all right, here's the number you can call. MONICA: Oh.
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