The One With The Candy Hearts (114)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever |
JOEY: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you. ROSS: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. CHANDLER: Any contact? ROSS: She lent me an egg once. LORRAINE: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice. CHANDLER: And what did you bring? RACHEL: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney. MONICA: Which one was Pete Carney? RACHEL: He was the weeper. Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. "Was it good for you?" MONICA: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months--I didn't get to win once. RACHEL: How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people! MONICA: I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets. PHOEBE: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. LORRAINE: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes. JOEY: Good for you. Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters? JANICE: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. CHANDLER: That's ok. JANICE: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty. JOEY: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there? Uh, we might be leaving now. CHANDLER: Tell me it's "you and me" we. JOEY: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it. CHANDLER: Ok, you can not do this to me. JOEY: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right. LORRAINE: Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please? JOEY: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler. CHANDLER: I hope she throws up on you. JANICE: So, do we have the best friends or what? CHANDLER: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV? ROSS: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half. KRISTIN: Who are they? ROSS: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her close, personal friend. KRISTIN: You mean they're lovers. ROSS: If you wanna put a label on it. KRISTIN: Wow, uh, anything else I should know? ROSS: Nope, nope, that's it. Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. Helloo! PHOEBE: Ok, so now we need um sage branches and the sacramental wine. MONICA: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca. PHOEBE: Um, that's ok! Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man. RACHEL: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. CHANDLER: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day? JOEY: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's. CHANDLER: Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush. FIREMAN 3: We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then? RACHEL: So, um, will you bring the truck? FIREMAN 3: I'll even let you ring the bell. RACHEL: Oh, my god. PHOEBE: See, there you go, the cleansing works! MONICA: They're nice guys. RACHEL: Oh, they're firemen guys. FIREMAN 1: You guys tell them you were married? FIREMAN 2: No way! FIREMAN 3: Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them!
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transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips
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