The One With The Cat (402)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
CHANDLER: 'Stunning entertainment center. Fine, fine Italian craftsmanship.' PHOEBE: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center? RACHEL: Why? I love that thing. CHANDLER: You want it? PHOEBE AND RACHEL: Oh no. CHANDLER: Ahh, Gepeto, $5,000 dollars? Are you insane? JOEY: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks! CHANDLER: All right look, I'm changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer. JOEY: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant. CHANDLER: Nooo. JOEY: Oh. What do you do? CHANDLER: I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living! PHOEBE: Yeah, I actually don't know... ROSS: Good, so do I RACHEL: Something to do with numbers? PHOEBE: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! Come on. Crazy. Oh my God. RACHEL: What? PHOEBE: Nothing. Nothing. JOEY: What? What's wrong? PHOEBE: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother. RACHEL: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?! PHOEBE: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself. ROSS: Are you sure she's in the cat, or have you been taking your grandma's glycoma medicine again? PHOEBE: No Dr. Skeptismo! I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's the feeling.Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. My Mother's favourite fish is Orange Roughy... Cats... like... fish! Hi, Mommy. Oh, I haven't seen this smile in 17 years! JOEY: Dude, Phoebe's mom has got a huge peni- CHANDLER: Let it go!!! MONICA: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now he's-he's called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat. RACHEL: Oh, you go out with him. MONICA: Oh, really?! RACHEL: Yeah. Just, if it's possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy? MONICA: I'll try. ROSS: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center? JOEY: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I don't think any of them are gonna work out. CHANDLER: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails. TONY: Wow! That's ah, that's pretty nice! JOEY: Pretty nice? CHANDLER: You'll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this. TONY: We don't have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? We've got a canoe. CHANDLER: Y'know, I, I really don't think we need a canoe. TONY: You gotta take the canoe! CHANDLER: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away! RACHEL: You guys, you're never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! Look kinda familiar? ROSS: Apparently Phoebe's mother also goes by the name Julio. RACHEL: You guys, there's a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?! JOEY: Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!! ROSS: Little girl misses her cat. Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her. ALL: Yeah. ROSS: Thank you. RACHEL: I hate when Ross is right! MONICA: He is right, isn't he? CHANDLER: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times he's wrong. ALL: You think? CHANDLER: Oh-no, he's right. JOEY: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man. GUY: What?! JOEY: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldn't, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny 'til I started feeling like I was in a coffin. JOEY: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!! CHIP: So you still in touch with anyone from high school? MONICA: Umm. Well, there's Rachel, and umm, I think that's it. How bout you? CHIP: Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot. Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire, J.T., Breadsly. MONICA: Is that all? CHIP: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman. MONICA: Ohh, how is he? CHIP: Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie. CHANDLER: What the hell happened?! How were you locked in?! And where the hell is all of our stuff?! JOEY: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man! CHANDLER: So--You got in voluntarily?! JOEY: I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do? CHANDLER: BEND OVER?! MONICA: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, 'cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I don't even know where you work? CHIP: You know where I work! MONICA: I do? CHIP: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time. MONICA: You still work at the multiplex? CHIP: Oh, like I'd give up that job! Free popcorn and candy, anytime I want. I can get you free posters for your room. MONICA: Thanks, I'm set. Do you still live with your parents? CHIP: Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want. RACHEL: Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs. PHOEBE: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo. JOEY: Aww, man, he took the five of spades!!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is! MONICA: Oh my God! What happened? CHANDLER: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!! ROSS: Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say? CHANDLER: Oh, they said uh, "You don't have insurance here, so stop calling us." MONICA: Hey, we can take her back with you if you want. PHOEBE: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right? CHANDLER, MONICA, JOEY, and RACHEL: That's a good call. Right. ROSS: No! No! Look--Hey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat! PHOEBE: Ross, how many parents have you lost? ROSS: None. PHOEBE: Okay, then you don't know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if I'm wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive. ROSS: I'm sorry. PHOEBE: Okay. ROSS: I don't know what to say. RACHEL: You could... say you're sorry to her mom. PHOEBE: I think she would like that. ROSS: Come here, here, come here, come here, Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friend's mother. PHOEBE: Thank you. We both forgive you. RACHEL: So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl? PHOEBE: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And you're welcome to come back anytime. CHANDLER: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, we'd really appreciate it.
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transcribed by Eric Aasen
51982
