The One With Ross' New Girlfriend (201)
|
|
|
Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
PHOEBE: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
MONICA: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross. PHOEBE: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge? MONICA: Guys, you got your hair cut. CHANDLER: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay. PHOEBE: 'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice. MONICA: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen? JULIE: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. ROSS: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. RACHEL: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? MONICA: It's just an expression. CHANDLER: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know. ROSS: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was? CHANDLER: God? ROSS: It was you, pal. CHANDLER: Well, maybe it was God, doing me. ROSS: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you. CHANDLER: Well, you owe me one, big guy. CHANDLER: He said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever. ROSS: How is that the silver lining? CHANDLER: You have to really wanna see it. MONICA: Phoebes, you know what I'm thinking? PHOEBE: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it? MONICA: No, although now that's what I'm thinking. PHOEBE: All right, so what were you thinking? MONICA: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine? PHOEBE: Oh. No. MONICA: Why not? PHOEBE: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. MONICA: No you're not. PHOEBE: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings. CHANDLER: Hi. Anybody know a good tailor? JOEY: Needs some clothes altered? CHANDLER: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. JOEY: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990? RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have. RACHEL: Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec? JOEY: No no no no no, I'm not fallin' for that again. PHOEBE: What's goin' on? RACHEL: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night. CHANDLER: What stupid thing did you do? PAOLO: Bon giorno tutti! MONICA: Rachel, how did this happen? RACHEL: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night. PHOEBE: Where? RACHEL: At his apartment. Is this juice? JOEY: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? RACHEL: I know, I know I'm a pathetic loser. MONICA: Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad. CHANDLER: People do stupid things when they're upset. MONICA: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't -- but this is about your horrible mistake. ROSS: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here? PAOLO: I do Raquel. ROSS: So, uh, he's back. RACHEL: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? ROSS: No, not a problem. RACHEL: I'm glad it's not a problem. PHOEBE: Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass. JOEY: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey says hello. He'll know what it means. CHANDLER: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code? PHOEBE: All right. Ok, but, but you have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it. MONICA: I promise. PHOEBE: All right. Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing. PHOEBE: All right, that's it, I quit. MONICA: What? I didn't say anything. PHOEBE: Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person. PHOEBE: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. MONICA: How who wears it? PHOEBE: Demi Moore. MONICA: Demi Moore is not a he. PHOEBE: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten. MONICA: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore. PHOEBE: Oh, oh, oh my god! MONICA: Oh my god! PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore? MONICA: She's the actress who was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost. PHOEBE: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair. MONICA: I KNOW! RACHEL: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me. JOEY: You gotta tell Ross how you feel. RACHEL: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie? JOEY: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years. RACHEL: I don't know, I don't know. JOEY: Look, Rache, Rache, I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. CHANDLER: Yo, paisan. Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man. JOEY: Frankie? What're you talking about? ROSS: Hey, what's goin' on? CHANDLER: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. ROSS: What? JOEY: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years. CHANDLER: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite- ROSS: What? CHANDLER: Cupping. JOEY: That's how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? ROSS: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you? JOEY: What? That's not? Oh my god. MONICA: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. ROSS: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. MONICA: Thank you. My hair is very amused. CHANDLER: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true. ROSS: What's goin' on? RACHEL: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all, what? ROSS: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot? RACHEL: No. ROSS: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. Was there a second of all? RACHEL: No, I think that was the whole all. JULIE: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andy McDowell's new haircut? PHOEBE: You wanna do it right now? JULIE: Great! PHOEBE: Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andy McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? RACHEL: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andy McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you. RACHEL: You're welcome.
|
transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips
52193
