The One With The Ick Factor (122)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever |
RACHEL: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were... PHOEBE: Doing it on this table. CHANDLER: Wow! JOEY: Excellent dream score. ROSS: Why, why, why would you dream that? CHANDLER: More importantly, was I any good? RACHEL: Well, you were pretty damnedy good. CHANDLER: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm always surprisingly inadequate. RACHEL: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table. ROSS: I love it, when we share. CHANDLER: You're okay there? ROSS: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream. CHANDLER: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and I was somebody else's subconscious. ROSS: Phoebs, why would you want to operate a drill press? PHOEBE: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients. CHANDLER: Pirates again? PHOEBE: No, nothing like that. I was just... such a dummy. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop". And they are. RACHEL: What are you playing with? ROSS: Oh, it's my new beeper. JOEY: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for? MONICA: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.' ROSS: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO. CHANDLER: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid. MONICA: All right, I'll see you guys later. RACHEL: Off to see young Ethan? MONICA: Thank you. JOEY: How young is young Ethan? Young? MONICA: He's... our age. CHANDLER: When we were? MONICA: Okay, he's a senior in college. ROSS: College? JOEY: Whoa! CHANDLER: And this man child has no problem with how old you are? MONICA: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22. ALL: What? MONICA: Oh, I can't pass for 22? PHOEBE: Well, maybe 25-26. MONICA: I am 26. PHOEBE: There you go. CHANDLER: Can you hear that? PHOEBE: Yeah? CHANDLER: See That'll stop when you pick up the phone. PHOEBE: Oh. Uh, I'm on. Mr. Bing's office. No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now. CHANDLER: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops. PHOEBE: Will he know what this is in reference to? And he has your number? All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye. CHANDLER: What? PHOEBE: Ross says hi. CHANDLER: Ah! PHOEBE: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now? MONICA: Windows are clean, candles are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? No, cause I made lasagna. Am I out of control? RACHEL: Just a touch. ROSS: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time. JOEY: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool. ROSS: Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. No, André is not here. Third time today. Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services. JOEY: Services? Oh, services. ROSS: Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. No, believe me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. All rightie, bye bye. JOEY: Hey, hey. How was the first day? PHOEBE: Oh, excellent. Everyone was so, so nice. CHANDLER: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. Me. PHOEBE: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you. CHANDLER: Why not? PHOEBE: Oh, because, you know... they don't like you. CHANDLER: What? PHOEBE: I thought you knew that. CHANDLER: No ho. Why doesn't they like me? PHOEBE: Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone. CHANDLER: What are you talking about? PHOEBE: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing". MONICA: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to. ETHAN: Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong. MONICA: No no. Nothing wrong about that. ETHAN: Oh. MONICA: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months. ETHAN: Huh! MONICA: But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are. ETHAN: Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said. MONICA: You're not a senior? ETHAN: Oh, I'm a senior... in High School. MONICA: Ok...ay. ROSS: Okay, André should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. Just easier that way. ROSS: Are you not seeing him anymore? MONICA: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out. CHANDLER: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym. RACHEL: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. JOEY: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest "Power Ranger" is? RACHEL: Where are you going? PHOEBE: Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people. CHANDLER: Work people? Nobody told me. PHOEBE: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravagance. CHANDLER: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person. PHOEBE: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are. CHANDLER: You think I should? PHOEBE: I really do, yeah. CHANDLER: Okay. PHOEBE: Okay. CHANDLER: Okay. PHOEBE: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss. CHANDLER: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing "Ebony and Ivory". PHOEBE: You were great. But they still made fun of you. CHANDLER: What? PHOEBE: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss", "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss", "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing" CHANDLER: Then, I don't get it. PHOEBE: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss. CHANDLER: They do? PHOEBE: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore. CHANDLER: I just want to-- PHOEBE: No, but you can't. CHANDLER: But I just wa-- PHOEBE: Uh uh ETHAN: Hey. MONICA: That was gonna be my opener. RACHEL: Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom? ROSS: I thought that was just a rumor. RACHEL: True story. JOEY: They're here already? ROSS: Are you're hands still wet? JOEY: Uh, moist, yeah. RACHEL: Let's dry 'em again.
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transcribed by Mikael Hedberg
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