The One With The Tiny T-Shirt (319)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
PETE: ...so y'know, that's why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, 'Wash my car.' 'Clean my room.' It's not gonna be able to do any of those things, but it'll understand what you're saying.
MONICA: Hello, people who do not live here. ALL: Hi! Hello! MONICA: I gave you a key for emergencies! PHOEBE: We were out of Doritos. ROSS: Hey, how'd the date go with Mr. Millionaire? CHANDLER: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately. MONICA: He's great! I mean we have such a good time together! He's so funny, and sooo sweet, and I'm not attracted to him at all!! ROSS: Still?! MONICA: Noo!! It's driving me crazy. I mean every other way he's like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything. CHANDLER: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image? MONICA: Two. CHANDLER: Wow!!! JOEY: Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! ROSS: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.Monica and PHOEBE: Oh. CHANDLER: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you. KATE: Hi. JOEY: Oh, so you're playing Adrienne, huh? KATE: Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins? JOEY: Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. I'm Joey Tribianni. KATE: Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller. JOEY: So the ah, play's pretty great, huh? KATE: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murray's work. She's so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class. JOEY: Oh, forget about it. She rocks! KATE: Where do I know you from? JOEY: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat. KATE: No, that's not it. So, you're a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm? JOEY: Hey, I've done plays before. I'm a serious actor. KATE: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! You're-you're-you're the guy that doesn't know how to pour milk!! JOEY: See, I actually can pour milk, but I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting. KATE: Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie. JOEY: Yeah, that was real. ROSS: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute. JOEY: Wow, what-what do you think she wants? ROSS: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me... a-sucks. CHANDLER: It's possible. You are very loveable, I'd miss you if I broke up with you. I was just trying to be supportive. ROSS: Then be supportive like a guy. CHANDLER: If I broke up with you, I'd miss you. ROSS: You ah, wanted to see me? RACHEL: Yeah. Ahh, here's a box of your stuff. (hands him a box) ROSS: What?! RACHEL: Oh, y'know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CD's, just sort of stuff that you've left here. ROSS: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something? ROSS: Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this was a gift?! RACHEL: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop. ROSS: It's still a gift! I got it from the gift shop! PHOEBE: So, you're like a zillionaire? CHANDLER: And you're our age. You're our age. PHOEBE: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself. PETE: What like Pete Dakota? PHOEBE: Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete. JOEY: Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago. CHANDLER: That's not a state Joe. JOEY: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is? KATE: Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy? JOEY: Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and nothin'. You look at me, and it's nothin'. Nothing. THE DIRECTOR: Tasty! I'm really starting to feel like you guys have a history, it's-it's nice. KATE: I have a question about this scene. THE DIRECTOR: Yes? KATE: Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor. THE DIRECTOR: Peel the onion. First of all, he's good looking. JOEY: Yeah. KATE: I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of reason than that. JOEY: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, it's says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I don't know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that you're a bitch. KATE: It doesn't say that in the script. JOEY: It does in mine! CHANDLER: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you? ROSS: You bug me. CHANDLER: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can't just stare through the peep hole for three hours! You're gonna get peep eye! ROSS: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she'd say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does! CHANDLER: You didn't just break up. ROSS: Hey, it's been like three weeks! CHANDLER: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower! ROSS: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself, I swear. I can't, I can't watch this. Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, she's going in. CHANDLER: Okay. ROSS: She's going in. Wait! He's going in! He's going in!! The door's closed! I, I can't see anything but the door closed!!! CHANDLER: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave. CHANDLER: She's moving on! Okay, if it's not this guy, it's gonna be somebody else! And unless you're thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? It's over. ROSS: Yeah, okay. CHANDLER: Okay. ROSS: It's just I miss her so much. CHANDLER: I know. RACHEL: Y'know what? MARK: No. And I don't think I'm gonna want to. RACHEL: I can't do this. MARK: Yep. Yep, that's what I didn't want to know. RACHEL: Well, oh, Mark, I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? I'm just doing it to get back at Ross. I'm sorry, it's not very fair to you. MARK: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here! RACHEL: Oh God. I'm sorry about this. MARK: That's okay. RACHEL: You sure? MARK: Yeah. I can just go home and get back at him by myself. CHANDLER: Uh-oh, what did she do now? JOEY: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread! JOEY: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!!! With her, 'Oh, I'm so talented.' and 'Oh, I'm so pretty,' and 'Ooh, I smell so good.' CHANDLER: I think somebody has a crush on somebody. JOEY: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know? CHANDLER: I'm talking about you. You big, big freak. JOEY: Oh. Ohh. Ohh, you're out of your mind. CHANDLER: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now! JOEY: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?! CHANDLER: So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have? PHOEBE: Okay well, he would turn things to gold. CHANDLER: What about things that are already gold? PHOEBE: Ahh, his work is done. CHANDLER: Okay, let's play my game now. PHOEBE: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!!!
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
51764
